Loss of Faith
by Lupo669
Summary: Faith gets pulled back to Sunnydale for some unfinished business
1. Chapter 1

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 1: Old Faces, New Places

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

A/N: This is a sequel to "Faith's Temptation". I tried to fill in the back-story, but you may want to read "Temptation" first. You have been warned.

I woke up with my head poundin and my mouth feelin like something a Gavrok demon used for a nest. There's a bright light shinin in my eyes and it feels like my skull is gonna crack in two. I slammed my eyes closed again just tryin to get the pain to stop for a little while and when I crack them open again I notice the bars on the window. Glancing around I see the single toilet, barred doorway and other cot. Shit. I close my eyes again, but not cause I realized I'm in a jail cell. I've woke up in quite a few of them lately. Nah, I don't wanna see the person sittin on the other cot. That part of my life is supposed to be over.

"What're you doin here?" I ask, still with my eyes closed. "And how did ya find me?"

"It wasn't that hard, Faith," he says quietly. "I just followed the news reports of a raging, super hot chick, whose MO is to get drunk, trash the bar she's in, then allow herself to be arrested without a fight. Getting kicked out of four towns in two months has gotta be some kind of record. Maybe not a World Record or anything, but still impressive."

I slowly open my eyes to see Xander givin me his lopsided grin. There's more than a little sympathy in his look. It's more than I can take right now. I don't want his or anyone else's sympathy. I just wanna be left alone. "You still didn't say why you're here," I tell him. I slowly start sittin up and just allow the pain to run through me. I do that a lot, I welcome the pain, and I deserve the pain. I don't think I'll ever not be in pain again.

"Well, despite your best efforts to stay off the radar," he says with more than a little sarcasm, "I needed to find you because I think we have a problem."

I'm sittin up now with my head in my hands and I let out a sigh. "Look Xand, I told ya when I left, I'm done. I don't care what's goin on back there. I am NOT goin back. Let your new girl take care of it. I died, she was called, and it's her ballgame now. I don't need it. I don't want it. Get me?"

"Yeah, about that," he starts off slowly. "I don't want the 'new girl', her name is Shannon by the way, I don't want her to handle this. And I really don't think you will either." He's lookin around the cell tryin to avoid my eyes and I just know I'm not gonna like the answer to my next question.

"What's the deal? She not up for the yearly apocalypse?" I ask him. My head is starting to feel better. That's the thing with slayer healin. As hard as I try to beat my body down, it just keeps on bouncing back. Maybe I shoulda let a vamp or demon take me out one night. I've thought about it often enough, but just can't seem to let it happen. I dunno, it's like I don't wanna disappoint B or something. She'd never just roll over. Suicide by demon just wasn't her style. I couldn't save her but I'll be damned if I piss on her memory like that.

"Alright Xand," I say, "It's been great to see ya and all, but you and Red can handle whatever is goin on in Sunnyhell. Give the new chick a chance. I'm sure she'll be able to take care of business. Especially with the Council and Giles backin her play." That last part was said with a venom I thought I had gotten rid of. Just the thought of Giles still makes me wanna hurt something. That's what usually ends me up in places like this. I'll be out tryin to drown the memories and pain, then somethin'll give me a flash back. A word, a phrase, a look, something. And I'll just go ballistic. I haven't seriously hurt anyone yet, but I think it's just a matter of time till I do. That's why I keep movin, I'm tryin to get away from the memories. Maybe I could run into a bear or something. They got bears in California? That'd be a wicked ass fight.

Xand is lookin at me finally and it seems like he doesn't really wanna tell me what's goin on. He's gotta know I'm just gonna take off as soon as they let me outta here. "Faith, I need you to listen to me," now his voice is low and serious. "Let's get you out of here. We'll go get some breakfast and I'll tell you everything. Then you make up your mind. One thing I can tell you is that I haven't told Giles or Shannon anything about this. I didn't even tell Willow. If what I think is going on, is really going on, then it'll be just you and me. They can't know anything about it."

Alright, I'll admit it. He had me pretty curious now. What could possibly be goin on that would keep Xand from clueing up the super friends? He turned to the cell door and called to the guard to let us out. I guess he already paid my fines cause we went straight to booking and I was outta there in like fifteen minutes. We start down the street to where Xand had his uncle's car parked. I'm still a little hung-over but the fresh air is sobering me up quick and the thought of food has my stomach growling.

"Good to hear some things haven't changed," He says to me and now he's almost laughing.

"Yea, well the promise of food is the only reason I'm still here, so count your blessings," I said back while getting into the car.

We drove down to a Denny's and went in. Xander must of remembered how much I could eat cause he ordered the all you can eat buffet without even askin me. I loaded up a coupla of plates and we went over to a booth to sit. Xand was just havin coffee and I raised an eyebrow at him. "You not havin any," I asked?

"Nah, I ate earlier when I hit town. Beside I've seen you eat before and it does nothing for the appetite," he said. Okay now he's just being a smartass and he's sittin there grinning at me like a fool. "It really is good to see you, Faith," he says. "But you do look like shit. What have you been doing? You look like you lost about twenty pounds and nothing personal but you could really use a bath."

"Takin care hasn't been real high on the priority list, ya know?" I said back as I started in on the food. I can't remember the last big meal I had. All I been doin is drinkin, fightin and movin on. I'd shack up with whoever I could for a coupla days, then blow them off and move on. Not really livin, just driftin.

"You can't keep beating yourself up over what happened," he says to me. Xand's got that look in his eyes again. The one that lets me know he understands what I'm doin and why. Of all the people I met in Sunnydale, except maybe Buffy, he somehow got what I was going through. Even while bein in the inner circle of the Scooby gang, he knew what it was like to be an outsider, to be different. I woulda bet money on anyone else getting it except him, and woulda been wrong. Nobody got what losin Buffy meant to me. No one except the Zeppo here.

"How's Joyce doin?" I ask him while shovelin food in my mouth.

"She misses you," he says. "And is worried about you, but she's holding up alright. She's got the gallery to keep her busy and Giles has been good for her."

I'm still pissed at Giles, but if he's takin care of Joyce that buys him a little slack. Not a lot, but some. If I ever hear he's hurt her though, all that slack goes out the window and me and him are gonna have more than words over it. He'll be sortin his books with casts on both arms and from a wheelchair.

"Don't get that look," Xander says. "Giles is being very good to Joyce. He loves her Faith, and don't worry, he's never going to hurt her. So just cool it with the pain inducing thoughts, got it?"

"When the hell did you get to read me so well?" I ask him with a grin.

"You might not have noticed," he says with a smile, "But I spent a lot of time watching you. I know you were just now thinking of doing very bad things to Giles if he hurt Joyce. And I'm telling you, it's never going to happen. So just relax, okay?"

That brought the first real smile I've had in weeks to my lips. "Yea, okay. But I reserve the right to creatively hurt him if you're wrong," I tell him.

"It's a deal because I'm never wrong," he laughs.

Xand's sitting there watching me eat, so to fill the silence I ask, "How're you and Cordy doin?"

That question kinda wipes the last of the smile from his face. "Cord's doing okay I guess. Her dad got into some trouble with the IRS so she's not quite as snobby as she used to be. And there's really no 'me and Cordy' anymore." He says with a shrug. "Things just didn't work out. We were from two totally different places and it was good for awhile, but I kinda knew it wouldn't last."

"Shit, I'm sorry man," I said and I meant it too. Xander deserved a little happy in his life. His home life wasn't so great and I know firsthand how shitty that can be. "How bout Red and wolfboy?" I ask next. "They still all hot and heavy?"

"Oz, got involved with some girl named Veruca that came to town," he tells me. I coulda sworn that Red and Oz were the real, always and forever, deal. Damn, it's a wonder Red didn't turn them both into frogs or tadpoles or somethin.

He musta been able to see the surprise on my face cause he says, "Willow was going to throw the mojo on her, but came to her senses. I think it would have led her to a really bad place if she went through with it. Anyway," he continues, "Veruca was in a band and happened to be a werewolf too. Willow tried to work it out with Oz afterward, but he has this crazy idea that he needs to get control of his beast before they can give it another shot. So he packed his stuff and took off. I think he said something about Tibet, but I'm not sure. Willow took it pretty hard and spends most of her time with Shannon now. They seem to be getting really close," he finished. He's looking at me like there might be more to that story, but I don't wanna get into it right now.

I finished off the food and sit back to light a cigarette and ask him, "Xander, it's been great playin catch-up. I appreciate the food and company and all, but are ya gonna tell me why you're here or not?"

I had just lit my Zippo and was bringing it up to light my smoke when I notice him staring. Not at me, but at the flame. I can see two small reflections of the flame in his eyes and realize that the reflections are from his eyes tearing up. What the hell? I look from him to the lighter and back again and a terrible thought suddenly surfaces in my mind. What would have Xander bail on his friends to track me down? What could possibly be so important that he wouldn't tell anyone but me? Why would just the sight of my lighter be enough to almost bring him to tears?

My lighter. The one I used to burn the crypt and cover up what happened to B. The same one that Buffy gave back to me later that night in my motel room. My lighter. The one I threw into the crypt, and made the crypt into an inferno hot enough to destroy all evidence of Buffy being turned into a vampire. Shit, shit, shit. Why didn't I think of this before? How the hell was she able to get my lighter out of there? Even if she was standin right there watchin me, the place was blazing before she coulda gone in. How the hell was she able to survive inside? And if she survived that, could she of survived what happened at the pier? Could she of lasted just long enough to jump into the ocean? No! It can't be. There's no fuckin way this can be happenin.

I feel my own eyes tearin up and my voice cracks as I growl out, "Xander, no more fuckin around. You tell me what's goin on and you tell me now."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 2: Is It Her?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

As those words leave my lips, suddenly I can't catch my breath. It's too close in here. I stand up and head for the door with Xander right behind me. He stops long enough to pay the check and then hurries out to catch me. I'm standin at the corner of the building leanin over with my hands on my knees takin huge breaths and tryin to slow down my runaway heartbeat. I look up at him as he stands in front of me and slowly straighten up while wiping my mouth from where I just blew half my breakfast over the sidewalk.

I let out a long breath and tell him, "Xand, ya got two minutes to tell me what the fuck you think is goin on. Then I'm gonna walk away and if ya know what's good for ya, you won't try and stop me." Yea, I know I'm bein a bitch, but how much am I supposed to take. If Buffy survived me tryin to kill her on the pier and she remembers everything that happened, there's no way in hell she's gonna wanna see me again. And if she does see me, I just know she's gonna try and kill me. That's what I would do.

"Faith," he starts in. He's speakin real low and slow, like ya would to a crazy person. And yea, I am a little crazy right now. Who wouldn't be in my place?

"First off, I don't know for sure that it's Buffy," he says. "But after reading your journal, I can't see who else it would be."

One word is runnin through my mind over and over. 'No, no, no, no….' Xander's voice is almost bein drowned out by it and I have to concentrate to hear what he's sayin.

"Will you please just tell me what the fuck ya think is goin on?" I shout at him. I'm standin here losin my mind and he keeps tryin to beat around the bush. If he don't start explainin soon, I'm not gonna be responsible for what I do to him.

"A few weeks after you left, the Council sent Shannon to protect the Hellmouth ," he starts to explain. Good thing for him too. "She showed up at the school one day looking for Giles and I guess the Council had already sent word to him, because he didn't seem that surprised. She told us she was sixteen, came from London and had been with the Council ever since she was eight years old."

That kinda freaked me out a little. I couldn't imagine what it would be like bein under the control of those sick fucks for all that time. Old men and young girls just brought back too many bad memories for me. Xand waved his hand in front of my face to get my attention back.

"Hey, you still with me?" he asked.

"Yea, I'm here," I tell him. "Just went to a not so happy place for a minute. They actually had her for that long?"

"It looks like it," he says. "And believe me, they didn't waste one moment in brain washing that kid either. To her the Council is everything. As in they can do no wrong, ever. We tried to tell her some of the shit that they put you and Buffy through and she just blew us off like we were crazy. It was like we were trying to turn her against her family or something. Well, we were trying to turn her against them, but only by showing her the truth. It's not like we could have made half that shit up."

"You tell her about Travers sending a hit squad to kidnap me before they found out B had died? I mean the last time," I ask him.

Turned out that when the Council had sent Wesley to Sunnydale, his real assignment was to scope out the place so Travers could have me taken back to England. He figured that with Buffy guardin the Hellmouth, he could kidnap and indoctrinate me in the ways of the Council. We found this out after Giles was re-instated and Travers let slip that it was just as well they didn't get the chance to grab me. He'd have had his own personal spare slayer just waitin in the wings and under his control if something should happen to B. It would also give them the first time in history they could actually experiment on and test a slayer. Amazing what those assholes could come with when they thought they had a spare around. This Shannon chick might not have been a full-on slayer, but it looked like she was already there when they came gunnin for me.

Xand was noddin his head before I'd even finished my question. "She said that 'Uncle Travers' explained to her that you were dangerous and that you were 'unstable due to your lack of proper upbringing and family life'. They told her that if she found out where you were to subdue you and notify them immediately."

Oh this shit keeps getting better and better. I still wanna hear about why Xander thinks Buffy's still alive. "What does all that have to do with you comin here to track my ass down?"

Xand leans against the wall next to me and kinda looks off in the distance. His voice is soft as he tells me, "The first couple of nights she was patrolling, we wanted to go with her to help. Being brought up by the Council and all, she didn't want anything to do with that idea. She was all about living the 'One girl in all the world' part to the max. You know, no friends, no family nothing but the duty, yada, yada, yada. So, she shows up at the library the next day to report in to Giles. He's sorta her temporary Watcher until a replacement comes over from the mother land. I happen to be there, but Willow and Giles had gone over to the computer lab for a new monitor or something for the library computer. Anyway, I asked her how the patrol went and she said it was strange. Strange how, I asked. Then she said that she was never told that vampires would hunt each other."

My head snapped around at that and he's got my full attention now.

He turns to look at me and says, "Yea, that caught my attention too. Shannon went on to say that she caught a glimpse of a female vampire that was dusting off a group of other vamps. She said she could tell the woman was a vampire because the vamp vibe was coming off her in waves, even though she was too far away to get a good look at her. This Good Samaritan vampire finished off the clan, turned and looked at Shannon, then took off into the night. Shannon tried to catch up to her, but didn't have a chance. She said this vamp moved faster than any she ever heard of. I told her she must have just stumbled into a clan war or something, trying to buy time to figure out what it could mean. I already had a half assed idea forming, but didn't want to believe it. Then she said to me that at first she thought the girl fighting the vamps might have been you, but she didn't fit the description she was giving. Plus the whole vamp vibe thingy. Faith, she said that the girl moved like a super-slayer. That's what finally made it click for me."

I let out the breath I didn't know I had been holdin. It sounds possible, probable even, but why would Xander put two and two together and leave Giles and Willow out of the loop? "So what led you to come lookin for me?" I ask him, but I already think I know the answer.

"Faith, I read your journal and remembered the entry about your lighter." He replied, "About how Buffy was able to get through the fire and return it to you. I know there's something that happened on that pier that you won't tell anyone. I also know that a guy on a fishing boat that was there that morning said that right after you hit the water, and I quote, 'the sun reflected off of the splash like a comet had followed her in'. He was passed off as being a local crazy, but it made some sense to me. What do you remember about going in the water?"

My stomach twisted again as I thought back to that day. I have nightmares about it just about every night, but I never let myself think about it when I'm awake. It hurts too much. Xanders right though, I need to think about it now. I need to go back to the worst day of my life and remember if there's anyway, anyway at all, that Buffy could of survived. _If_ she did survive and _If_ she is still fighting the good fight, does that mean the en-souling spell took? And if she has her soul, conscience, humanity, whatever, what does it mean for her, for us? How could she possibly exist knowing what she is? What she was? What I did to her?

If there's even a chance that Buffy is still alive and in Sunnydale, I know damn well what I gotta do. I gotta go back and find her. It turns out Xander was right about something else he told me once, I can't run.


	3. Roadtrip

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 3: Roadtrip

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

We're gettin all kindsa looks from people comin in and outta the Denny's so I say to Xand, "Let's get gone. I'll tell ya what I remember while we drive."

"You're coming back then? Do you think it really could be Buff?" He asks me.

I answer him with a sigh, "Yea. I'm comin with ya. It could be Buffy, but I won't know till we get there. Let's pick up my stuff first then we'll head out." Man, the last thing I want is for Xander to be right, but I owe it to B to be sure. And I can't do that unless I go back. I must be outta my mind, I'm actually goin back to Sunny D on the off chance that my vampire girlfriend, vampire ex-girlfriend, is still there. While I'm at it, I'll hafta try to avoid a slayer that thinks I'm psycho and wants to turn me over to the Council. Why does my life always hafta suck so bad? It'd be nice if once, just once, I could have something that isn't taken away as soon as I get it.

We climb into the car and I lean way back, restin my head against the door. We drove in silence after I told Xand how to get to the place I been stayin. When we get there I run in and grab my duffle bag and just start throwin stuff in. Neat packin has never been my strong suite, just stash and dash was always more my style, so it doesn't take me long. The dude that lives here is out somewhere and I don't leave a note. He got what he wanted from me and I figure I don't owe him nothin.

Comin outside I throw my bag in the back of the car and hop in the front. Xander is pullin away almost before my ass hits the seat. In a rush much? He heads us outta town and back towards the Dale and I start getting my thoughts together as he gets us on the highway headed south. I can feel myself shakin inside as I get ready to tell him what I remember of that day. I look at my hands and see the slight tremor there, so I grip them together till the knuckles turn white and the shakin stops. I'm still shakin on the inside though. I feel the trembling runnin through my body like a mini earthquake that only I can feel. Ya know what? I'm nervous. No, not nervous. I'm scared. Scared shitless of what I'm about to do.

We get on the highway and I figure I better start in. No sense makin Xand ask again and I know he will. Sometimes he can be like a dog with a bone. He just won't let some shit go. Without lookin over at him, I say, "I went to the mansion earlier that night to meet B. When I walked in she was busy threatenin some guy on the phone over buyin the mansion. It wasn't her typical, idle, 'I'll rip out your rib cage and wear it as a hat' kinda threat either. This one she meant. She told the guy they would find pieces of him into the next century and she seemed like she _wanted_ to do it."

Xander glanced away from the road for a minute and looked at me with his mouth hangin open.

"Yea, I know, that was pretty much my reaction too," I glance over at him and can see his jaw snap shut as he clenches his teeth. "I went in and made some smart assed comment about sendin round the goon squad and she got real pissed off. It was like she couldn't control herself or didn't wanna. She snatched me up in the air and started talkin bout her markin me, ownin me."

"Wait a minute," Xander breaks in, "What do you mean 'marking you'?"

I turn to him in my seat and pull my hair back. His eyes get wide as he sees the set of bite scars on my neck, sitting just below my ear. The scars haven't faded yet and I really don't think they're gonna.

The car swerves a little as he shouts at me, "Jesus Christ Faith! You let her bite you? Are you out of your mind?"

"Look dude, you got no idea what was goin on and it isn't like I 'let her' bite me," I tell him. "It just kinda happened while I was distracted. So back off."

"Um, distracted how, may I ask?" he says and he's got a stupid ass smile growin on his face that tells me his mind just went to a very happy place. "I think the details could be very important. You should tell me everything and not leave out one single detail." Now his smile has turned into a grin, so I give him a swat on his arm to get his mind to focus.

"Uh uh, Sorry Xand. Not gonna share. You'll just hafta use your imagination," I tell him, though I'm pretty sure his imagination is already workin overtime. "Anyway getting back to what happened at the mansion. I broke her hold on me and told her no one owns me. Man, I thought we were gonna throw down right there. Then she kinda comes back to herself. Almost. Somethin still wasn't right with the way she was actin though. I took off to do a patrol after we said we'd meet at sunrise on the pier. I had givin her the gem of Amara the day before, so we were gonna watch the sunrise." Then I continue in a softer voice, "It was gonna be my last, cause I'd pretty much made up my mind to let her turn me."

This time the car did more than swerve a little. Xand damn near ran us off the road and into a concrete barrier. I probably woulda been alright, but Xand-man woulda been in some serious hurt. I reach over and grab the wheel and turn us outta the way just in time. I stomp on the brake and we slide to a stop on the shoulder of the highway.

Xander's not even lookin at the road now. His attention is totally on me. He's starin at me like I sprouted a second head and turned green. He looks too stunned to speak and his mouth is just flappin open and closed like a door on a broken hinge. Without sayin anything he throws the door open and jumps outta the car. Now, I've seen Xander scared, happy, sad, and mad before, but nothing compared to what happened next. He frickin erupted. There's no other way to explain it. Any other time he woulda realized I could throw him clear across the six lane highway we're on and kept himself in check. There was a look in his eyes that tells me Xander wasn't home right then. He stormed around the car, ripped my door open, and hauled me outta the car like I was a rag doll. I guess it's true when they say crazy people are stronger, cause I swear he lifted me so quick my feet didn't touch the ground.

He spun me around and pushed me up against the car and started shoutin in my face. "Are you friggin kidding me? Do you know what would of happened if you let her do that? Christ Faith, the two of you running around on the Hellmouth. As vampires? Didn't you think we had enough problems with the yearly apocalypses? What, you had to give us something more to deal with? God damn it, didn't you care what would have happened to the rest of us? How could you have even considered that shit?"

"I know, I know, but at the time she was more like herself," I tell him. I'm tryin to be calm cause I know that little revelation hurt him, but if he doesn't get his hands off me soon I'm gonna remove them for him. I try to calmly explain it to him, but I don't like bein crowded and my voice starts getting harder the longer I speak. "She was B, Xander. I thought she woulda been able to control the demon. I mean, she kept tellin me the slayer would help her keep control, ya know? Even Giles said it was possible. Now you gonna let go of me or are we gonna hafta stop by a hospital and get your arms reset after I break them?"

That kinda brought him back to himself and he let go of me so quick it was like he was burnt. He jumps back about two feet and starts rubbin his hands on his pants like he doesn't know what to do with them. He turns away from me and walks off a little way then turns back.

"Faith," he says and his voice is still kinda ragged, "I know how much you cared for Buffy. I get that, really I do. And I know that her being able to show she cared for you must have been like a dream come true. But. You _do not_ kill the ones you love. If Buffy was in her right mind she never would have tried to talk you into that. She never wanted it for herself." His voice gets gentle as he says to me, "Even when she was with Angel and thought he was her one true love, she never, ever, once thought about having him turn her."

Funny thing is, I know all that was absolutely true. B never woulda let herself be turned. I mean, even when she didn't have a choice and that bastard vamp changed her, the first thing she did was dust him and his clan. I kinda knew that, in like the back of my mind. I just didn't wanna admit it to myself. It was one more piece of proof that she wasn't B anymore and I was tryin so hard to lie to myself that she wasn't changed. That she had control. Well that night ripped away all my lies.

I'm lookin at the ground when I tell him, "I know all that. I realized it later that night while I was patrolling. I was walkin through a cemetery, kinda letting the thoughts drift through my mind, when I walked into a vamp. We started fightin and I dunno, something in me just snapped. I realized that this was all Buffy was now. An undead shell of who she was. I realized that she couldn't control the demon, it was takin her over, more and more every day. I went crazy on that vamp, man. I beat him and beat him till every bone in his body was mush. With every blow I came closer to realizing what I had to do if I really loved her. I finally pulled my stake and dusted the vamp, then turned to leave. Buffy was losin to the demon and I had to set her free."

I go on in a low voice, "I didn't know Giles had Red workin on a spell, I didn't even think about telling him what I was gonna do. I just left my journal so he would find it and hoped it would be enough to explain. I didn't have the guts to tell him and I thought I was gonna die with her. And now you show up to tell me she might still be alive. She might have lived through me tryin to burn her, to kill her……."

Tears are runnin down my face now and Xander comes over without sayin a word. He slips his arms around me and I lean into his shoulder to just let out some of the pain I been carryin around. It's been a coupla months that this shit has been building up and he just stood there, holdin me by the side of the road, letting my tears and snot soak into his shoulder. He didn't tell me it was alright and he didn't tell me it would get better. See I told ya Xand gets it.


	4. Heading Home

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 4: Heading Home

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

The thought, 'Holy waterworks, Batman!', crosses my mind. I just can't believe Faith has that much mucus in her. My shirt is drenched through and has that cold slimy feeling where it's sticking to my shoulder. Not that the price wasn't worth it, to be able to hold her for a while. I mean, hello, hot chick with super powers. Bad thoughts, bad thoughts. I have to remember that I was there for her cause she's my friend, not for her rubbing up against me while she cried. Again with the bad thoughts. Concentrate on something else, yea, how about the car. Get her back in the car and head back to the Dale. Damn, even with her eyes red and her mascara running she's still beautiful. No wonder Buffy wanted her. And if she showed her true feelings to Buff, that would have just made her want her more. Buffy was always about having someone to love and be there for her forever.

I pull back from Faith a little and tilt her head up as I say, "You about ready to move on?" I know that has a double meaning and figure she'll answer however she wants.

"Yea," she says, "Ya gotta any tissues?" Then she wrinkles her nose, "And maybe a spare shirt for yourself, cause I sorta trashed the one you're wearin."

I give her a grin and say, "A tissue? I can do better than that, how about a handkerchief? As far as the shirt, I do happen to carry a spare. What with all the demony stuffing that I usually get splashed with I'm used to them getting trashed."

She steps back from me and takes a long breath as I dig out the handkerchief for her. I go around to the trunk of the car to grab that spare shirt and give her a few minutes to pull herself back together. It's kind of funny. Back when Faith first came to Sunnydale she never would have broke down like that in front of me. Or anyone for that matter. She was always about being the 'all I need is myself' chick. That is except for when she was around Buffy. Everyone could see that Faith was looking for something more from the Buffster. Everyone except Buffy. I mean, yeah, she tried to play off as being a loner, but every time a chance came up for her to be with Buffy, she would go out of her way to make it happen. Like the Homecoming dance for instance. Faith always acted like school events were pretty lame, then she goes ahead and invites Buffy to the dance with her. She played it up as a way for Buff to get over Scott Hope, but I had a feeling it was something more. She wasn't even enrolled in the school. And to go out and buy a dress for the occasion was really what gave it away. At least to me it did. I know what it's like to never have any money and Faith went all out that night with a slinky black evening dress that just about knocked everyone's socks off. Everyone but Buffy, that is. She was too busy recovering from the Slayer fest 2000 festivities with Cordy to even notice. I know that must have really hurt Faith, but she'd never show it.

I changed out my shirt and move over to open the door for her and she says, "Thanks Xand, but I got it. Been openin my own doors for quite awhile now, don't think this one's gonna be able to take me down."

She's giving me a smirk so I know we're good. It's probably as close to a 'Thanks for being there Xander' as I'll ever get from her and that's okay. I know she appreciated it and she knows it'll just stay between us. Ever since she woke up in the hospital we've been getting closer. I didn't pressure her with any questions or explanations about what happened. I just listened to the way she answered everyone else's questions. Faith actually said more by what she didn't say if you listened close enough. Giles had let us read through her journal when we weren't sure she was going to live and that pretty much confirmed everything I already knew. Faith loved Buffy, Buffy loved Faith but couldn't show it, and Faith was going to jump at the opportunity to be with her. Game over. I'm still wigged that she would have actually let Buffy turn her into a vamp. I didn't think she'd go that far, but thinking about how they were together now, it makes a kind of sense. A bizarro world kind of sense, but sense never the less.

I get behind the wheel and start the car moving again. Faith is sitting slouched down with her feet up on the dash and her eyes closed. I'm thinking she might just fall asleep for the rest of the ride when she starts talking. There's no tremble now, her voice is just low and has that smoky rasp sound that makes you just have to listen when you hear it.

She says, "After I left the cemetery, I went home and said a silent goodbye to Joyce. I had decided to meet Buffy at the ocean and was going to take the gem of Amara off her at sunrise. I already knew I would have to hold her there while the sun came up and at that point I was fine with it. I didn't really mind dying for B at all. I grabbed my journal from the house and wrote out what I was gonna do before I stopped at Giles' place. I wanted him to find it later and know why I had to do what I did, ya know?"

Giles had told us about finding the journal right after Faith left and calling Willow to start the ensouling spell. I still don't get why he didn't tell Faith earlier about having Willow working on it. Even though it didn't work, it might have given Faith a little hope. It would of let her know she wasn't dealing with all that crap alone. I'm not sure why they left me completely out of the loop either. They're my friends and family but sometimes they act like I' don't exist. Something else I had in common with Faith. I nod my head and keep listening.

"So we're at the pier and I'm holdin her and she's talkin about the future we'll have together. All the time I'm tryin to psych myself up to do it. There's this feelin of power building in the air around us and I'm thinkin that this is it, the demon is finally gonna win and I'll be standin there to see it. A shudder goes through her and her face changes back to normal and she's lookin at me like she really sees me, maybe for the last time. So I know it's now or never and I kiss her, and ask her to forgive me and pull the gem offa her hand and throw it in the water behind me."

It hits me then. Something I hadn't realized before cause I never asked her about that day. The spell worked. Holy Jesus, the spell worked and Faith knows that it worked. No wonder she had to take off like she did. I feel my heart break a little for the pain and suffering she must have been going through. She took off and carried that burden alone with no one to talk to or share it with. Man, the strength in this girl just keeps on amazing me. Nothing I can say will make it easier on her so I say the only thing I can, what I feel. "I'm so sorry, Faith."

"Yea, me too Xand," she says. She opens her eyes and their shiny but the tears aren't falling. I guess she cried them all out for now.

"So, I'm' holdin her and I feel the sun startin to do its work," she continues. "Buffy realizes what's goin on and starts twistin and turnin to get away. One of her arms clips me on the head and knocks me back through the railin and into the water. The last thing I see as I hit is her movin towards the rail and I called out her name then blacked out," she finishes softly.

Something else just occurred to me, and even though I don't want to cause her anymore pain, I just have to ask. "Faith, before you left things were kind of weird whenever you and Giles were in the same room together. In fact, you two were only in the same room once or twice and that was at the hospital." She doesn't offer any comment so I keep on going, "Willow told me that you said the ensouling spell didn't work, but it did, didn't it? That's what changed in Buffy at the end?"

I look over to her as I ask and she's looking down at her lap, playing with the rings on her hand, but she gives me a nod.

I look back at the road and the rest of it falls in place for me. I say to her while nodding my head, "I get why you didn't want to tell Willow that it worked. I can even forgive you for not telling me." If I'm right she still has some rage issues she's going to have to face before we get back to Sunnydale. I'll try and keep her away from Giles and Willow, but they're probably going to run into each other at some point. The town just isn't that big. I ask the next question because I want to hear her say it out loud, "But what I don't get is why you told Giles? Why put him through that?"

I look over at her again as I ask the question and now I see her eyes come to life for the first time since I looked in them at the jail.

Her voice has lost the soft raspy tone and turns hard as she growls out, "Cause he deserved to know exactly how bad he fucked up by not trustin me. _I_ had to hold Buffy while she burned. _I_ had to give up everything I always wanted cause I thought I had no choice. When I found out he had Willow do the spell and then realized it worked BEFORE I took the gem from her, I coulda killed him. If you guys weren't in the hospital room when I figured it out, I probably woulda killed him."

The venom in her tone is enough to send a chill down my spine and I am eternally thankful that I didn't know they were trying the spell. I wouldn't want that kind of hate from Faith directed at me. I'm thinking the only reason Giles is still among the mobile is because he's been so good to Joyce. That and the fact that Faith left town. She must have been running from more than just the memories.

Alright, here's where being sensible guy comes in handy. I tell her in a calm voice, "Yea, not telling you about Will probably wasn't one of the best ideas Giles ever had, Faith. If it makes you feel any better, I was left out of the telling too. But, and I know I'm taking my life in my hands here, you should have been a little more with the sharing also." I feel her eyes snap over to me and can hear the arm rest start to creak under her grip.

I rush to get the rest out before she can start arguing back, "I mean, if you had trusted us more, maybe letting us in on Buffy being of the undead, we could have tried to help and it might not have gotten to the point it did." Then I throw in, "Can you please try not to break the car apart while we're driving?"

She lets go of the arm rest and turns to face me. She says, "Don't ya think I know that, Xand? Don't ya think I hate myself for that? For maybe wastin the chance to save her, just cause I didn't say anything to ya? Christ, that's all that's been goin through my head these last month's. All the coulda, shoulda woulda, shit."

Okay, she's facing the anger, now I gotta help her redirect it. "Look, you can't hate yourself for what you didn't know, Faith. But you can't hate Giles for what he didn't know either. You both thought you were doing the right thing for the people you loved. That's the best anyone can do. I'm not telling you to forget it happened. I'm just asking you to try and forgive him and yourself for being human."

I hear her take a deep breath and blow it out. I can feel some of tension in the car go out with her breath and I think we're gonna be alright. She says, "Human huh?"

I give her a grin and say, "Well mostly human. You have to remember I've seen you eat and the jury is still out on that one."

She laughs and it's a genuine laugh for the first time in hours. She says, "Yea well, let me know if the decision ever comes in on that, kay?" Now she seems much more relaxed so I guess it's time to get back with the serious.


	5. Hellmouth Welcome

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 5: Hellmouth Welcome

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

I begin to tell her the story of what happened, from when Giles found her, since he told us what he saw when he got there and she was out of it by then. The traffic keeps getting lighter the farther South we drive so I don't have to pay as much attention to the road. "Faith," I start in, "Giles told us that when he got to the pier you were already in the water. He didn't see any sign of Buffy and thought he was too late. He jumped in after you and was trying to get to you before you sunk. He said he saw you go down a couple of times but you kept coming back up to the surface. He figured you were still conscience and were keeping yourself afloat, but when he finally grabbed you, he knew you were already gone. He dragged you back to shore and had one of the people that started to gather around call 911 while he started CPR. He had to keep at it until the paramedics got there, because you just wouldn't breathe on your own."

I chance a look over at her and she's sitting there listening, but not really involved. It's almost like she's hearing a story about someone else. Maybe cause she was dead at that point? She doesn't ask any questions so I go ahead and tell her the rest. "When the ambulance showed up they got your heart going again and Giles took a moment to look around. He said there was no sign of Buffy or a dusted vamp anywhere. He figured that the remains had probably been carried out to sea on the wind and he was more worried about you at that point than anything else, so he climbed into the ambulance with you and went to the hospital."

Faith is frowning and mumbled, "Worried my ass. He wasn't worried enough to let me know what he had Red doin, was he."

I don't think she meant for me to hear that, but I did and I can't let it go. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, Faith. I thought we were going to try and let some of that crap go. You know that frowning will give you wrinkles, right? I mean, next thing you know, you'll be running around with all kinds of twisty, wrinkly, line thingies around your mouth and on your forehead. Then there goes your hot, badass chick rep right out the window. You'll start looking all prune faced or something."

She starts grinning at me again and says, "Well I might look 'prune faced', but I'd still have the wicked ass bod."

"There is that," I say to her nodding my head. "Anyhow, Giles said he didn't see anything unusual on the pier and since we all took turns staying with you at the hospital, we never got the chance to look for ourselves. Then you woke up, got out and got gone. Nobody ever found anything to show that Buff was ever there with you."

"Yea," she says, "When I went back there the day I left, I was kinda hopin to see something. I dunno what, just anything that woulda givin me answers, ya know? Guess it's hard to find answers when ya don't even know the questions."

What can I say to that? She's right and who knew that Faith would be thinking such deep thoughts anyway. When we first met she seemed like the total opposite of Buff. Living totally in the here and now. No worries, no regrets. I feel kind of guilty about the way we all treated her back then, especially since I always put up an act for people to see. It should have been obvious to me she was doing the same thing. Only instead of being a clown, she was being the tough chick. Man I would change so much of what we did if I could. Since I can't I'm going to make it right to her now. Can't change the past but I'm going to damn well change the present.

"What happened after I left?" she asks. "Give me the low down on why you're so sure B's back in town."

I tell her, "I already gave you the short and sweet version. Not really anything else to tell. Shannon was called as a slayer and the Council sent her here to watch over the Hellmouth. When you left, the rest of us kept up the patrols and we were able to keep the vamp population pretty well under control till she got here. Giles has been working with her to bring her up to speed, but his heart isn't really in it. He's doing it more for Joyce than anything else. Joyce just can't stand the thought of yet another young girl out there battling these things alone. That's why she insisted that Shannon move in with her."

"That sounds like Joyce," Faith says with a sigh, "runnin a half way house for wayward slayers. She should call it the Buffy Summers Slayers Sanctuary."

I chuckle at that and say, "That's not half bad. Try saying it three times fast, though."

"Is Joyce really alright?" she asks me in a low voice.

"Well I wouldn't say she she's all rainbows and kittens, but she is getting along, "I tell her. "She's still living at the house on Revello drive and she's working. Basically she's going on with her life. You need to take some time and see her while you're in town. I think it'll be good for both of you. Plus then you can see for yourself how she's doing."

"Yea, it'd be great to see her, "Faith says. "I miss her a lot and she was always there for me, ya know? There for a little while I had everything I always wanted, the family I never had. It was hard to give that up, but I just had to get outta there for awhile Xand. There were just too many bad thoughts runnin through my head."

"I get that Faith, really I do," I tell her, "and I would have let you work it out on your own then come back, if that was what you wanted. But I needed you to come with me and see if we can find out if it is Buffy or not. If it's not you can stay or go, your choice. No harm, no foul, right? If it _is_ her, maybe you can help track her down and find out what she's up to. Maybe get her to let us help her. I don't know, there has to be something we can do to help her."

Faith has a far off look in her eyes as she watches the road ahead. I know it's asking a lot of her to come back to Sunnyhell, but I don't know what else to do. If Shannon was to find out I'm trying to help the vamp she's hunting…., I don't want to think about what she'd do. Probably tie me up in a knot and leave me in the woods or something. That's the problem with hanging out with slayers. Yeah, they're strong, powerful girls, not to mention that so far they've all been extremely hot looking, but they've all been a little bit crazy too. Maybe it comes with the slayer package, strength, fast healing, super senses, a cocky attitude and a warped sense of humor. In Shannon's case, living with the Council for so long definitely would have screwed her up. The rest of them must have been quirky on their own. Maybe it's the genes?

About an hour later we drive past the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign and the sun is going down. Always a great time to be out and about in the Dale. It's funny, I lived here all my life and until I met Buff, when I found out the things that go bump in the night are real, it never occurred to me that all the normal humans start clearing the streets at sunset. Yeah, there are still some people that venture out at night, that's what keeps the demons fed, but for the most part they all just start wandering indoors as it gets dark and no one ever talks about it. It all seemed so normal when I was growing up that I didn't notice. Now though, things have changed. I know what's out there, but I also know who's protecting us and you know what? My money is on the slayers every time.

We're pulling into town and I turn my head to ask Faith if she wants to stop at my place and get cleaned up or if she wants to head straight out on patrol, when out of the corner of my eye I see something dash across the road in front of me. I stand on the brakes, laying a couple feet of rubber and a second figure runs in front of the car. Faith has her door open and is staring at the spot where both people disappeared into the shadow of an alley.

She looks over at me and raises an eyebrow in a silent, 'you gonna tell me?' question. I look from her to the alley and back then say, "Not sure about the first one, but the second one looked a lot like our new slayer."

She lets out a sigh and says, "Just my luck. I shoulda known I'd get a regular Hellmouth welcome, right?" She shakes her head a little then goes on, "Guess I better go make sure the newbie's alright. Wouldn't wanna trade in slayers this soon, huh. Might make them think this place is dangerous or something."

She closes the door and starts to move towards the alley. I quickly pull over to the curb, then shut off the engine and start following her. I call out, making her stop for a moment, "Faith, be careful. Remember Shannon's gunning for you, too. She really is too wrapped up in the Council to think for herself right now and I don't want to lose you already. You know, you just being back in town and all."

I catch up to her at the mouth of the alley. She turns to me with a grin and says, "Awww Xand, I never woulda guessed ya cared. What with the drivin for hours to find me and haulin me back. Ya keep this up and I'll start to think you're gettin soft on me."

I smirk back at her and say, "Trust me Faith, no one ever gets soft with you around."

She lets out a laugh and we head into the dark.


	6. Slayer, Slayer Come Out To Play

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 6: Slayer, Slayer, Come out to Play

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

Not even a chance to lay my bags down and already the shit is hittin the fan. Oh yea, a big rousing welcome back to SunnyD. Xand and me are creepin down the alley, kinda huggin the shadows. I can hear the sounds of a fight comin from farther back in the darkness and get a glimpse of two bodies throwin down at the back wall. As we get closer I can see the smaller one is a girl with long dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. Must be that Shannon chick. The other one is kinda big, about six feet and hairy. Its long arms are bulging with muscles and end in long fingered claws. It keeps takin these big swipes at the girl, but she's too quick for it and it doesn't get any good hits in.

She's actually not too bad. Nowhere near as good as me or B, but still not too shabby. She's ducking the swings everytime the demon tries to claw her and as she comes up on the inside of the swing, she lands a coupla hits. Every once in a while I can hear the sound of bones breakin and the slayer in me is startin to get itchy to jump in on the fun. I start movin forward without even thinkin about it and only stop when I feel Xand's hand on my arm. I look at his hand then up to his face and he's got that grin on his face that tells me he knows exactly what I was gonna do. He shakes his head a little and I let out a sigh. Yea, he's right. I gotta let her finish this herself. There's no sense getting into it with her already. We can hang for a while to make sure she's got it covered, then duck outta sight when she's done.

I go back to watchin the fight and can't help thinkin about the times when I was first called. I'd jump into the fray and just wail away on whatever I was fightin until there was nothing left but a pile of pulp. No finesse just a whole lotta power. This slayers style is a lot different than mine was. She's got some really good moves, but no power or imagination to back them up. The Council musta been trainin her right out of a martial arts manual and not bothered to put her up against any serious competition. She's telegraphin her moves so bad ya coulda read them in the dark. Sure, the arm locks and foot sweeps are text book perfect but she's not usin any in close moves to follow them up. No elbow or knee strikes that woulda ended this fight ten minutes ago. I hope G gets his shit together and starts really trainin her or they'll have another slayer called in no time.

The demon finally makes a fatal error and leans too far into a front punch. Shannon slips around behind it and grabs it in a choke hold. She has to jump to get up on its back, but that's alright. She's small, not as small as B, but then who is? She's got her arm locked around its throat and is usin her other arm to get leverage enough to stretch its neck. Then she gives its head a sudden twist and it's all over. You can hear the snapping of its neck all the way over where we're standin. Slayers one, demons zero. Let's hear it for the home team.

I can still feel my body hummin with the itch to do some damage of my own and Xander starts pullin me slowly back down the alley. We can leave the clean up to Mighty Mouse there, after all it was her kill. If it's like most of the demons around here, it's gonna dissolve away to nothin anyway.

As we exit the alley and get back in the car, Xand says, "Well I was going to ask if you wanted to get cleaned up or patrol, but I guess I know the answer to that now. Let's head over to the other side of town and find you something you can beat on, okay?" He starts the car and can't hide the huge grin he's wearin.

"Yea, it might take more than one to get rid of the rush I got goin on," I say to him. I'm practically vibratin in the seat and Xand is settin a speed record getting me over to the graveyard.

"What did you think of the new girl?" he asks.

I think about it a minute then answer, "She's got some skills, but whoever did her trainin left out the whole section on real combat. She shoulda had that thing down and out in like three minutes, not the fifteen it actually took. When ya see Giles ya oughta clue him up on that. She needs some intensive in close trainin with someone who could give her a run for her money."

"You volunteering?" he asks me with a grin.

"Nah, not my thing, ya know? I'm here strictly for B. Not to play mentor to some wannabe," I tell him. "Sides, she's more likely to turn me into the Council than to let me teach her anything. If what ya were tellin me is true." I finish lookin over at him.

"It's true Faith," he says, "If we can get her to listen to us, training with you would be a big help to her. I'm not saying it's going to happen, in fact it probably won't, but it'd be nice if you could give her some tips. It just might let her survive long enough to realize there's more to life than following orders."

"Great Xand, why not try and guilt trip me with the whole 'she may not survive if you don't help her' thing," I say to him. "Tell ya what, you get her not to try and get me iced then I'll show her how to stay alive, 'kay?"

"Deal," he says. "I'll start warming her up to the idea tomorrow. In the mean time, here we are." Then he says with a smirk, "You want me to tag along or you think you can find your way around by yourself?"

What a smartass. I start to get outta the car and say, "I think I can handle it. Ya know, been there, done that and all. Unless ya need me to play bodyguard for ya or something?"

"I think my body will be safe for now, thanks anyway Faith," he says. "Listen, there is one other thing I need to tell you before you go and get your slay on."

I sit back in the seat. I'm dyin to get out there and start dustin some vamps but his serious tone told me I should listen to what he has to say. I close the door and look over at him. Xander's forehead is wrinkled like he's tryin to find the best way to tell me whatever it is he has to say, so I sit there waitin for him to begin. Finally I can't take it anymore and I start teasin him, "Ya know ya coulda just said ya wanted me to sit here and stare at ya. I mean, yea its weird, but if it gets ya off I'm game."

That brings a smile back to his lips and he gives a short shake of his head before he begins, "Thanks, but I can think of better ways for you to get me off." He looks over at me with his lopsided grin so I know he's kiddin. Then he continues, "What I wanted to tell you is that after we found out that Buffy was turned, after we read your journal, Willow started looking around on the net to try and trace where she was staying. She was trying to figure out how she was staying off the radar."

I nod my head and say, "Yeah, and?"

"Well, what she found is that Buff had gotten someone to make her a new identity. That way she was able to open several bank accounts, buy property, pretty much be able to take care of all the day to day stuff, you know?"

He's got my full attention now, but I still don't know where this is goin. "Yeah she said something about that to me. So what?"

"Did she happen to tell you whose identity she was using?" he asks. I don't think I like the look in his eyes now.

"No, she never got around to it. Why what's the dif?" I ask.

He nods his head and tells me in a calm, steady voice, "It seems that all her bank accounts and Angel's old mansion that she bought belong, legally, to a Ms. Faith Lehane. She kinda used reverse identity theft on you. Instead of using your ID to take all your money, she used it to give you all hers. So, if you were worried about where to stay or how to live, I figured you should know that you have your own place and money and who knows what all else."

That little revelation left me reelin. She left me everything? She told me that there was a huge amount of money layin around at the criminals homes she had 'taken care of'. In a strangled voice I ask him, "How…how much?"

"We don't know for sure, but Will figures a couple of million at least," he says.

I start coughin and my throat goes dry. "Million?" I ask. "How is that possible in only a coupla months?"

"Buff must have been a busy girl, I guess," he says. "Anyhow, I wanted you to know before you go out there on a rampage. If you don't want to stay at the mansion, you're welcome to stay with me. The rest we can start figuring out tomorrow, okay?"

"Thanks Xand," I answer him, "But, I think I'm gonna stay there tonight. It'll give me a quiet place to try and figure out where to start lookin for B."

"Whatever you want, Faith," he says. "I'll swing by and drop your stuff off. And here's my cell number. Call me whenever you get up and we'll get started on finding out what's going on."

I get outta the car and close the door. Before he can drive away I lean back in the window and say, "Xand?" When he looks over to me I continue, "Thanks a lot, man. I mean for coming to get me and telling me about B and all. It means a lot to me."

He smiles at me again and says, "No problem Faith. That's what friends are for." Then he drives off.

He's right ya know. That is what friends are for. Lookin out for each other. Havin someone to talk to. I just wish I had figured that out before. I turn and walk into the cemetery with all this new information chasin round in my mind. Now I got about a million more questions for B when I find her.


	7. Strangers In The Night

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 7: Strangers in the Night

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

It was nice of Xander to drop that little bomb on me at the last minute, huh. B actually left me all her money and that kick ass mansion. I guess she wasn't kiddin when she said she wanted a nice place for me to stay. And how did I repay her? Left her to burn in the light of day. Christ, I hope she did survive. I gotta find her and tell her…………. Tell her what? How do I begin to apologize for what I musta put her through? It's not like I can walk up to her and say' Hey B, glad you didn't turn into a big pile of ash when I took the gem of Amara from you while you were standin in the morning sun. By the way, thanks for makin sure I was taken care of for the rest of my life.' Why do the Fates hate me so much? No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to do the right thing, I just keep screwin up. It's easy for Xand to tell me to forgive myself, that I was just doin what I thought was best, but that's not good enough. My best wasn't good enough. Well what else is new? My best has never been good enough.

All these thoughts are goin through my head as I walk through the cemetery. I try and let the silence of the place calm me down. Ease my weary mind. I know just what I need. I need a distraction. Yea, that's it. Somethin to take my mind away, where I don't hafta think and I can just let go for awhile. Well, well, well, whadaya know. It looks like it's my lucky night.

As I come around a large crypt there's a coupla vamps standin over a new grave. Guess their waitin for the newest member of their fraternity to make an appearance. Good for me, bad for them. I let my slayer sense flow out and yea, there's just the two of them and I feel a faint stirring from the grave. It won't be too much longer before the new guy makes an appearance. Now should I take out the elders and wait for the newbie or give the new guy a chance to get free of the grave and take them all down? Decisions, decisions. I think I'll wait and have the all you can slay special. Like I said, I'm feelin really itchy from watchin the new girl take out the demon earlier and not getting the chance to join in. So I might as well make this a little bit of a challenge. Who knows if there'll be anything else slay worthy tonight.

I'm standin here in the shadow of a tall grave marker, waitin for the main event and I feel another vamp aproachin. At the same time the ground coverin the grave starts to shift and crumble as the new vampire begins to claw his way out. I hear a girls voice cryin and look over to see the latest vamp draggin some poor young thing to the gravesite as a comin out present for the newly risen vamp.

Okay, change of plan. I'm not gonna wait for this to go on any further. Not with a victim being brought into the mix. I reach down and pull a stake from the top of my boot as I step around the grave marker. "Hey guys," I say with a smirk firmly in place. "Got room for one more?"

The vamp with the victim snarls at me, "Slayer. What are you doing here? I was told you died months ago."

"Yea, well the rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated." Heh, Giles woulda got a kick outta that. Me quotin Mark Twain. And he thought I never read.

"We'll see what we can do to fix that," he says. He let's go of the girl and lunges towards me as the other two start movin also.

Yea, these guys are all the same. The one that was doin the talkin comes straight at me while the other two come in from either side. I step forward and move into a spinnin crescent kick that sends the lead guy flying back onto the grave the newbie is still tryin to pull himself out of. The two on my sides each grab an arm and I use a hook kick from my right foot to break the hold of the one on that side. I reverse the kick and catch him in the temple while usin his partners grip on my left arm for balance. While the two that are down are recoverin, I turn into the one still holdin me and follow through with my right elbow to his nose. Have I told ya how much I love the sound of demon bones breakin? He lets go of me to grab his nose that's gushin blood and I drive my stake into his chest. Whoosh, poof, there's another sound I never get tired of hearing.

The two on the ground have gotten back up and one of them helped pull the new guy outta the grave. It's still three on one and I almost feel sorry for them bein so outnumbered. I start hearin the old music in my head and begin the slay dance I've come to love so much. They move in, I slide through. They throw punches, I counter with blocks. I'm feelin the buzz and let my mind go of all thoughts. I'm lettin the rhythm take me away, my whole body in tune with the night and the slayer sense lets me know exactly where the vamps are. Spin, punch, kick, block, plunge the stake. Oh yea, there is nothing that feels better than this. Well almost nothing. I did feel something better than this before, but the chances of that ever happenin again are almost nil.

I close my eyes as the last vamp's dust brushes over my face and when I open them again it's just me and the girl they brought for dinner, alone in the cemetery. I reach down to help her up and ask, "You alright?"

She's lookin around like she's not sure what happened and says, "What were they? Why were their faces all gross and stuff? Where did they go?"

Typical Sunnydale denial. She saw what happened but is already tryin to change it in her mind. "Musta been a gang or something," I say. "Come on, I'll help ya home."

"My cars just down the street," she says. "We ran out of gas on the way home and my boyfriend went to get some. He should be back soon."

"Okay, why don't I walk ya back to the car and we'll wait for him to come back," I tell her. What kind of an idiot leaves his girl alone at night in a stranded car? Man, the world is just full of losers. And people always wondered why I stayed out of relationships. We get back to the car and sure enough there's her idiot boyfriend putting the gas in the tank and lookin oblivious.

"Hey Carla, you go for a walk? Who's your friend?" he asks. I told ya, what an moron.

"No. I didn't go for a walk. Some guy grabbed me and pulled me into the cemetery," she tells him.

The moron throws the empty gas can in the back of the car and says, "What guy? Where is he? Are you alright?"

"Some guy. We think he was part of a gang," she answers him. "We don't know where he went and yes, I'm alright."

"How did you get away," he asks while lookin her over for any damage.

"This girl saved me." Turnin to me she says, "I don't even know your name."

"Don't worry about it," I say. "How bout you two just get on home before those guys come back." I know they won't be back but it's as good a way as any to get these two outta here. I'm startin to get the tingles again and though they're not the same as when a vamp is around. I think I know who is causin them. The feelin runnin up my spine gets a little stronger, then just kinda levels out. She's here somewhere, close enough for me to feel and probably watchin me. She's gotta know I can feel her, but she doesn't want me to see her yet for some reason.

The kids drive off just in time cause it feels like my legs are gonna give out with the relief I'm feelin. Buffy's alive. I can feel her. I know she's around here somewhere. She survived the sun and I didn't kill her. I sink down to my knees and feel the tears of relief leakin from my eyes. All the nightmares I had. All the different ways I dreamed of how her final moments must have been. It all comes rushin through me and I kneel there and cry.

Then the connection starts to fade. She's movin away from me. She's leavin and I don't know why. I stand back up and cry out into the night, "Buufffyyy". But there's no answer


	8. Dream A Little Dream Of Me

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 8: Dream A Little Dream Of Me

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

I drag my sorry ass back to Angel's old place, my place now I guess since B put my name on the deed. I forgot to ask Xand about a key for the door, but I'm pretty sure I can find a way in. I'll worry about a key tomorrow. Sure enough the door is locked but there's a balcony off the bedroom that I can jump up to reach. The French doors are locked with a flimsy little latch and I jimmy it open easily. I'll hafta get better locks on the doors since I'm gonna stay here. I wander through the bedroom and head downstairs to look around.

When I get downstairs I see that the place hasn't changed much since the last time I was here. There's some more furniture than I remember and it's all covered with sheets, but it's still kinda empty. What's the word? Spartan. Yea, that's it. Al the open space makes the place look even bigger than it really is. That's okay though. I like the openness. I've lived in too many small, cramped places to want to clutter up all the space around me. I go over to the phone and see that there's a message on the answering machine. It's gotta be from Xander, cause no one else knows I'm here yet. I reach out and push play, then listen as his voice echoes through the room.

"Hey Faith, you're probably still out working off the tension, but I wanted to let you know I swung by and dropped off some food for you. It's in the kitchen, hope you don't mind drive through burgers, though there are a half dozen of them. That should hold you for an hour or two, right?"

Ha, ha, very funny Xand. Why's everybody gotta comment on how much I eat? It's not like I'm fat or anything. I just got me a healthy appetite. Plus with the slayer metabolism thing, I gotta keep the machine well stoked, ya know? I just might hafta remind him why I can eat so much and still stay in shape. Maybe I'll bench-press him a coupla dozen times tomorrow, that'll make him think twice about makin smart assed comments. That thought brings a grin to my face as I continue to listen to his voice.

"Anyway," he continues, "I left the key to the front door on the counter by the fridge. Hope you didn't do too much damage getting in. I know you can afford it now, but who wants to have to replace a door if you don't need to, right? By the way, if you do need anything fixed, I know a handyman that would be more than happy to make the repairs for you. He does good work and works cheap. He also has the inside scoop on slayers and demons so you don't have to worry about the whole secret identity thing. Hint, hint, hint. In case you're slow tonight, I'm talking about myself. I do carpentry and repairs. Seriously. I know you're standing there laughing, but I really do good work. Well, we can talk more tomorrow. Hope you have a decent night. I'll talk to you later, bye."

Xander the carpenter, huh? Why do I keep getting an image of a Three Stooge's sketch runnin through my head? Xander as Moe hittin Curly on the head with a hammer while he's goin 'Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck'. I just gotta laugh out loud at that image, man. I delete the message and make a mental note to tell Xand about the Three Stooge's thing when I talk to him. Goin into the kitchen I go straight for the fridge with my stomach growlin. Like the man said, my appetite is legendary with the Scoob's. There they are, as advertised, six double cheese burgers with the works. I grab three of them and toss them in the microwave. Usually nukin stuff is reserved for popcorn, but I gotta make an exception tonight. Cold burgers just won't quiet the beast. While the timers countin down, I grab a drink from the fridge. A beer woulda been great but all that's in there is some ice tea and soda's. I'm gonna hafta fix that tomorrow.

After I eat I do a quick walk around the place makin sure everything's locked up, then go upstairs to grab a shower and get some sleep. The master bedroom has a wicked ass bathroom attached. It's gotta huge tub big enough for four people and a standing shower that would fit three more. I turn the water on and soon the room is filled with clouds of steam. Shuckin my clothes I step into the hot water spray and let the tension of the day start to drain away. While I'm standin there soapin up I go over what I know so far.

Buffy is alive. I know it now. I felt her at the cemetery. Whether she was there by coincidence or cause she knew I was back is still anyone's guess. The important thing is that she's still among the living, or un-dead as the case may be. Whatever, she's still around. That means I can find her and talk to her. Maybe find a way to make it up to her for what I did. I still don't know how I'm gonna explain it, but I at least have to try. I owe her that much and more.

Next thing I know is that this Shannon chick needs to be straightened out on the real story behind the Council. That's gonna be almost as hard as talkin to B. Usually once people have their minds made up, it takes something pretty drastic to change it. No matter how much evidence you can put in front of them, they'll just go blindly on with their beliefs. I'm gonna hafta do some major persuading to get her to even give me a chance. Otherwise I might end up drugged up and carted off to jolly old England for 'reconditioning' before you can say 'welcome to the Mother Land'. I know I could take the mini slayer in a fight but if she gets the drop on me with a tranq gun or something I'll be in deep shit.

I also gotta do something about Joyce. There's no way I can be in town and not go by to see her. If she's hot and heavy with Giles like Xander said, it's not gonna be a picnic but I'll play nice if he does. Joyce doesn't need to get into the middle of our pissing match and I did kinda promise Xand to try and let that shit go. When I see him tomorrow I'll hafta see if he can maybe get Joyce to meet me somewhere to talk. I'll put off dealin with Giles as long as I can.

Finishin up my shower I grab a towel off the rack and dry off while walking back into the bedroom. I'm pretty well wiped out from the stress of the day and can't wait to grab some sleep. I grab a tee shirt and some loose shorts from my pack and slide them on for bed.. Speakin of bed, this one's a huge four poster complete with canopy. I jump into the middle of it and as I sink down into the mattress, I'm surrounded by the smell of vanilla and honey. Oh shit! I'd know that smell anywhere. It's the smell of Buffy. It must be left from when she was here last. Breathing in that sweet aroma I start thinking of B again. She's alive. I know she's alive and she knows I know she's alive. I can't stop the grin from comin to my lips and I really don't want to. Maybe this time I can get it right. I grab the pillow and rub my face into it takin deep breaths. My eyes slip closed and I drift off thinkin of my girl.

I'm walkin towards the pier and I can see a lone figure standing in the newly risen sun. Her hair blowin in the wind out behind her. I think to myself 'great I get to relive the nightmare again' and since I don't have a choice I play my part. I walk up behind her and slip my arms around her as she leans back into me.

"I wasn't sure you'd come," she says.

"I'll always come for you," I say teasing her. She laughs and turns in my arms. I look into those emerald green eyes and am lost all over again. This time I'm gonna change the dream. This time I'm not gonna follow the rules. I reach down and lift her hands in mine. I pull them up to my lips and kiss each finger while playin with the ring on her hand. Then I let her hands slip through mine to fall on my chest.

"You're not going to take it back this time?" she asks.

"Never again B," I say. "I wish I never took it that day and I'll never try to take it from ya again. I swear."

She smiles up at me and I start to realize that this dream is different. It's more than the regular nightmare of when I tried to kill Buffy. I can feel her in my arms. I can smell her vanilla honey scent and I know it's more than just what's lingering on the pillows in my bed. I can see the love that still shines in her eyes. That's when it hits me that this is gonna be a different dream than the one I'm used to havin. I think maybe it's our connection, allowing me to be with her. Allowing me a chance to tell her how sorry I am for what happened and I'm not gonna waste this chance.

"Buffy…..," I say to her, "B, I gotta try and tell ya how much it hurt me to do that to ya. Ya gotta know I didn't think I had a choice. You were changin, getting cruel, doin things you never woulda done if it weren't for the demon inside you." Now I'm pleadin with her, "And I swear, if I had known that the Scoob's were trying to re-ensoul ya, I never, ever woulda taken the gem from you."

I stand there holdin her for a moment, starin into her eyes and hopin with all that is in me that she understands. That she'll forgive me for what I did. I'm not even breathin as I wait for her to say something, anything to let me know it's gonna be alright.

She's lookin at me with the most tender smile I ever saw and noddin her head along with my words. Then she says to me, "Faith, I know you did what you thought you had to do." She slides her hands up from my chest to cup both sides of my face and I let out the breath I was holdin in a rush. Then she continues, "And now I have to do what _I_ think I have to do."

Her hands turn to claws and I can feel my skin tear as she rips my throat from my neck.


	9. Making It Right

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 9: Making it Right

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

I wake up screaming in a strange bed. Nothin new there. That's how I been wakin up for the last two months. The sheets and covers are wrapped so tight around me I feel like I'm tied down and not in the 'wantin to try something different' way. While tryin to jump up and get away from the images that are still in my mind, I end up falling on the floor, smackin my head on the side of the bed. The pain brings me outta the nightmare and I try to pull myself together. I rip the sheets in half pullin them away from me and drag my knees to my chest while the tears are still runnin down my cheeks. Christ, that was the worst one yet. I've been havin bad dreams since that day, but usually it's just re-livin those final moments on the pier with B. This time it changed. I don't know if it's me knowing she's still alive and thinkin she's gonna want revenge or just my guilt at havin tried to kill her comin out in a different way. Whatever, I sure as hell don't wanna take that ride again.

After a few minutes my heart begins to slow down and the panic is slowly fadin. I look around the room and remember where I am. My new home. The one B gave to me. There's sunlight comin across the balcony and through the French doors. It's warmin up the room and as it does I relax a little and let the tension seep outta my muscles. As I think back over the dream, hell nightmare's more like it, I try and figure out if it was a slayer dream or not. It doesn't feel like it now that I'm thinkin about it. I mean, yea, it felt more real than a regular dream at the time, but there's no sense of prophecy or warning. Also, it was about something that already happened. Even if it was a twisted version.

Alright, enough of this shit. I get myself up and head in to get cleaned up. I got enough to do today without sweatin over a nightmare. When I'm done getting dressed I'll give Xand a call and see if he wants to go get some breakfast. Wakin up screamin like a maniac seems to of given me an appetite. I'm thinkin a huge omlette, sides of bacon, sausage and cheese home fries, then chase it all with about a gallon of coffee. I'll even treat Xand, so long as he doesn't make any more Faith and food jokes.

Downstairs I grab the phone and dial up my new partner in crime. He answers on the second ring, I wonder if he was expectin me.

"Hello, Double H here, Harris the Handyman," he says.

Oh Christ that's priceless. I start laughin and can't stop. I manage to spit out, "Xand….Xand…. That's, that's…….." and then I'm off laughin again.

He says, "Well, I'd know that voice anywhere, though I'm not used to hearing it giggling like a school girl. What's the joke Faith?"

I'm tryin to pull myself together but the relief of laughing comin so soon after the nightmare is almost too much. Xand starts talkin again, "Faith, why don't you call the zoo and ask for the hyena pit? You seem to be speaking their language. Call me back when you revert to English, okay?"

I can hear him startin to hang up so I stop him, "No, Xander, don't, wait….I'm good, I got it under control. Don't hang up."

"Oookaaayy," he says. "But if you don't let me in on the joke soon I'm going to get a complex."

I got myself together now so I tell him, "It's just the way you answered the phone, dude. Harris the Handyman. The Double H's. Ya know, Hungry and Horny? I know it's a slayer thing, but it just struck me funny is all."

"Well given your weird sense of humor, I guess I can see you making that connection," he says. "I just have to keep reminding myself that you're a slayer and not responsible for the way your mind works." I can hear the teasin tone of his voice and once again I am so glad to have him in this with me. "So other then calling me to make fun of my phone persona, to what do I owe the pleasure of your call? Speaking of which, what are you doing up already, I seem to remember you liked to stay asleep until mid afternoon?"

Rememberin what woke me up chases the last of the laughter from me and I tell him, "Bad dream woke me up kinda early and I thought maybe you'd like to get some breakfast. I'm buying, you in?"

"Though I don't usually like being laughed at first thing in the morning," he says to me, "I will make an exception in your case. Breakfast sounds good. How about I pick you up in fifteen minutes?"

"Sounds like a plan, Xan," I say with a grin.

"Oh great, now you think you're a poet," he teases back. "I'll see you soon." Then he hangs up.

While I'm waitin for him I try and come up with as many situations as I can where I'll be able to call him Handy Harris today. This is gonna be fun.

Xander picked me up and we drove downtown to a diner for some food. Sittin in the booth we started to talk after our order was taken. Xander still had a big grin on his face from the looks I got from the waitress when I told her what I wanted. He started to make a comment, but one look at the glare I was givin him made him choke on his words. Yea, he definitely is smarter than most people give him credit for.

"So Faith," he starts off all diplomatic like, "After you get done eating enough for a small third world nation, what's next on the agenda?" I shoulda known he couldn't resist for long. Maybe he's not that smart after all.

"Well," I answer him, "after I take ya to the hospital and get your jaw wired shut, I'm thinkin a trip to the bank is in order." He let out a chuckle at the hospital comment then turned more serious.

"The bank, huh? That's a pretty good idea. You can find out exactly how everything's set up then and there," he said.

I'm not used to people agreein with my ideas, so I figure I'll lay out my plans for him and see what he says. "I figure we'll hit the bank, grab some cash till I can get an ATM card. Then I gotta pick up some wheels and a cell phone."

"When'd you get a driver's license?" he asks.

"I don't strictly have a license," I tell him. "That's one of the reasons I need you to come with me to get transportation. There's a bike shop at the edge of town that used to have a pretty wicked used Beemer for sale. If it's still there, I'll give ya the money and you can buy it for me."

"Why don't you just go and get your license?" he says.

"Come on Xand, I'm gonna get it eventually," I tell him. "I just need some wheels now so I can get around, ya know?"

He looks at me kinda hard than says, "Tell you what Faith, when we're done here we'll go past the DMV and you can see about getting your license. Then we'll go get your bike, alright? I don't want to have to bail you out of another jail already. We just got you back."

"I didn't ask ya to bail me outta the last one if ya remember," I said and yea, I'm getting a little pissed. "That was totally your idea. I woulda gotten out on my own. I've done it before."

He lets out a sigh and says, "Faith, I'm not trying to fight with you here. I'm just saying you should try and work inside the rules a little this time around, okay? And yea, it was my idea to bail you out and bring you back. But knowing what you know now, are you saying you wouldn't have come back on your own? I don't think so."

He has a point. As soon as I found out there was a chance B was still around, nothing woulda kept me away. Still, I'm gonna hafta stop letting him get away with talkin to me like that. I tell him, "Okay, Jiminy Cricket. We'll do it your way. This time."

Our food came by this time and we're diggin in when I hear the bell over the door ring and Xander looks up with a grin startin to form on his face. Givin a casual glance over my shoulder I almost choke when I see who walked in. She was lookin over and started to smile at Xander when I turned to her and she froze.

"Faith," she says in almost a whisper. She's standin there starin at me and I dunno if she's gonna start yellin or just turn around and walk out. Her face is totally blank so I can't tell what's goin on in her head.

I stand up to face her and feel a knot tighten in my gut as I walk to her. In a quiet voice I say, "Hiya Joyce".

Next thing I know I'm swallowed in a bear hug that woulda crushed my ribs if not for the whole bein a slayer thing. She's kissin my cheek and tryin to talk all at the same time.

"When did you get back? Where are you staying? Where have you been? God, look at you, you're nothing but skin and bones. Haven't you been eating? Oh, it's so good to see you again." Joyce is rambblin away at a mile a minute. She woulda put Red to shame and I'm lovin it. I could see how much she really missed me and it made me happy, but also sad at the same time. I'm happy that there is someone who still cares for me and sad that I hurt her by leaving without being able to tell her the real reason why.

"I just got back," I say. I'm kinda lookin at the ground, the walls, pretty much anywhere but at her. I was so not ready for this.

Xander jumps to my rescue. Hah, my hero. He gets up and says, "Hi Joyce. Why don't you sit down with us? Faith was just saying how she wanted to stop by and see you today only we weren't sure if you'd be home or not."

Joyce is movin over to the table and I shoot Xand a look to say 'what now?' He just shrugs back while Joyce's is turned away and we all sit down.

The waitress comes back over and asks, "Joyce, what can I get you today?"

Joyce answers, "Just the usual, Mary, coffee and a bagel to go please. I have to get right back to the gallery, thank you."

While Mary, the waitress, walks off to get her order, Joyce turns back to Xander and says, "You, young man, are in deep trouble."

"Me? What did I do?" Xander asks with a slightly guilty look.

"_You_ didn't call me and tell me the moment you knew Faith was back," she says looking at me with a big smile. "And for that I may never forgive you."

I knew Joyce was just teasin Xand. There was no way she wouldn't forgive him. The question is, when she finds out all I been keepin from her will she forgive me.


	10. Confrontations

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 10: Confrontations

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

Well, that was unexpected. I thought for sure Faith was going to bolt for the door when she turned around and saw Joyce standing there. Heh, heh, like Joyce would have ever let her get anywhere near the door before grabbing her in a hug. I did enjoy the look on Faith's face though. It's not often I get to see her with her jaw dropped open in surprise. It's a little awkward at first with the two of them sitting here trying to make small talk and not really saying anything. Joyce just finished asking Faith to come by the house later tonight so she could meet the new slayer Shannon. This might be a good time to stir the pot a little.

"Yeah Faith," I say in my most innocent voice, "you'll really like her. She's all British and proper and stuff. Almost like a baby Giles. I just know you'll really be a _hit_ with her."

"Thanks Xand, we all know what a great judge of female character you are," she tells me. She's glaring daggers at me as she continues, "But I think I'd rather pass for right now. I gotta get settled in the new place and all."

Joyce asks, "You have a place already? I was hoping you could stay at the house with Shannon and me." You could sorta hear the disappointment in her voice but she kept her smile in place. Joyce was always good at hiding what she was feeling.

"I'm actually stayin at Angel's old place. I gotta really good deal on it. Besides, I don't know how good an idea it is for me and the mini to be up close and personal," Faith says.

Joyce is looking a little confused so I try and explain it. "Joyce, most of the last few years Shannon was with the Council, they spent convincing her that Faith is dangerous. Didn't Giles mention anything about it to you?"

"No," she answers with a frown forming on her lips, "Rupert never really says anything about Faith anymore. I just assumed it hurt him too much to talk about it. And as far as Faith being dangerous, that's just ridiculous. Anyone can see that she's a sweet girl." Joyce looks over at Faith and she's smiling again as she continues, "We'll just have to sit down and let Shannon get to know you better that's all dear. You come on by for dinner tonight and we'll get it all straightened out, okay?"

I look at Faith and can see she's not totally up for the idea, but I also know there's no way she can refuse Joyce anything. "Yea, sure Joyce," she says in a resigned voice, "that'll be fine."

Joyce turns to me and says, "You too Xander. You don't come around as often as you should and it'll be good for you to spend time with Shannon also. It might help get rid of some of those crazy notions you have about her."

Okay, I'm the one with the crazy notions? "Sure thing Joyce," I say. "We'll be over tonight after I help Faith get settled in."

Joyce's order is ready and she gets up to go saying, "It's good to have you back Faith." Then she leans down and kisses Faith's cheek. "I wish I didn't have to go back to work so we could spend the day together, but I will see you tonight, right?"

"You bet Joyce," Faith tells her. "Have a good day." Is it me or are Faith's eyes just a little bit shiny?

"You too dear, goodbye," Joyce tells her. She then says, "Goodbye Xander," and leaves.

Faith lets out a breath and says, "Well that went better than I thought it would. And what's with you being all rah, rah about me meeting the slayerett?"

I give a small evil smile to her and say, "Knowing you Faith, and seeing how Shannon is, it's gonna make for anything but a dull evening." Faith grabs the mustard bottle from the table and chucks it at my head. She didn't use any slayer strength, so I'm able to duck it easily. When I pop my head back up from under the table she's sitting there grinning at me.

"Well, just remember if I hafta put the little half pint in her place, it's your fault," she says.

I tell her, "Okay, I'll take the blame for it, but you've got to do me one favor."

"And that would be what?" she asks with a tilt of her head.

"Before you two begin tangling tonight, can you both be in bikini's and oiled up. Please….," as the last word leaves my mouth I jump up and run to the door. I figure I have a couple of minutes head start since Faith needs to pay the check before she'll catch up to me. By that time I'm pretty sure she'll be calm enough not to hurt me too badly.

An hour later I'm sitting in the car watching a very pissed off Faith come stomping out of the DMV. As she comes up to the car I'm a little worried she's going to rip the door handle right off. When she gets in, without doing too much damage thankfully, I ask her what the problem is.

"Ah, let's see," she starts telling me. "First, the freakin line was about a mile long. Second, most of those people smell like they never heard of soap and water."

I interrupt her with a smirk. "Faith, when I first came to get you, you were a little less than springtime fresh yourself."

"That's so not the point Xand. Besides, I had just spent the night in a jail. Now, do ya mind if I finish my rant?" she growls out.

"Just as long as you know it's a rant, be my guest," I tell her.

She continues, "Where was I? Oh yea, and after waitin in line forever I get up to the desk and they tell me I need proof of residency before I can apply for a license. Where the hell am I supposed to get that and why wouldn't they have like a big sign out front tellin ya that you're gonna need it? What are you laughin at?"

I can't keep the smile off of my face as I listen to her going on about the virtues of the DMV. I try and stop smiling as I tell her, "Once we get to the bank we should be able to get your proof of residency for them. It's just a matter of being able to prove you live in the state. It's really no big."

"Fine." She says as she folds her arms across her chest. "But I'm tellin ya now Xand, if anyone at the bank tries to give me a hard time, I'm gonna really wanna hurt somethin. Ya got me?"

"Loud and clear, Oh Slayerly One," I say to her and it cracks her up like I knew it would. The laugh makes her relax some and the tension leaves the car. I pull out and we head over to the bank. I'm really hoping that things go smooth there, cause I'm not sure she was kidding about hurting someone.

I pull into the curb in front of Joyce's house and see Faith pulling her used BMW motorcycle to a stop in the driveway. We had made it in and out of the bank without anyone needing to go to the hospital and then stopped by the bike shop. They still had the Beemer and Faith paid cash for it on the spot. Turns out they weren't as picky about having the proper paperwork once they saw the roll of cash she pulled out. Anyway, she has the title to the mansion now and can go back and get her license at any time. Another thing we both have is a greater respect for what Buffy could do when she puts her mind to it.

Faith is more or less setup for life. And her kids' life, if she has any. And they're kids' lives. Buff had it setup so that the capitol is invested, the interest rolls over into two different accounts, one savings and one checking, then a portion is returned to the original investment account. I'm not clear on everything but the guy at the bank, the manager no less, says that the money will keep making money and the only way it'll stop is if Faith feels the need to start spending about two hundred thousand dollars a week, every week for a couple of years. That's a little above even Buffy's old spending potential so I think it's safe to say Faith will be alright. I'm glad too. She deserves to have gotten a break in life, finally.

I get out of the car and meet her at the foot of the steps leading up to the porch. She's looking a little nervous and I can't really blame her. Last time she saw this place she was calling it home. There are all kinds of memories here for her. Good and bad. "You going to be okay?" I ask.

"Yea," she answers rolling her shoulders to loosen them up. "I can feel mini me in there though and it's not givin me the warm and fuzzy, ya know?"

"Just try and play nice," I tell her as I reach out to ring the bell. "And if it comes down to it, try not to do any permanent damage to her, okay? I'm tired of breaking in new slayers."

Faith chuckles at that as the door is opened. Joyce is standing there with a big welcoming smile and steps back to let us come inside. It's amazing how we all have gotten use to inviting people into our houses without ever really issuing an invitation. All part of fighting the good fight on the Hellmouth I guess. We go inside and I see Faith looking around. The house hasn't changed much in the last couple of months. There are some new pictures on the walls and Joyce has moved the furniture around some. The couch is over next to the fireplace and there are two chairs backed up to the front window with the coffee table between them.

Giles is just rising from one of the chairs as we come into the living room. He has a slightly nervous look as his eyes meet Faith's. For her part, Faith is looking him in the eyes, but at least she doesn't seem openly hostile to him. Not yet anyway. Giles must see the lack of anger in her and tries a small smile as he says, "Faith, it's good to see you."

She doesn't smile back but answers him, "You know me G, never know when I'll turn up."

"Yes, well I must admit I was quite surprised when Joyce told me she ran into you today. I was under the impression that you were moving north," he says and his eyes shift to me for a moment before looking back to Faith.

"So, ya been keepin tabs then?" Faith asks. I can hear the challenge starting to creep into her tone and figure I better head it off.

"_We've_ been trying to keep track of you in case you needed our help, Faith," I tell her. I give her a look to let her know she should drop it for now.

"Yea well I'm back now so it should be easier on ya," she says in a lower voice as her eyes snap over to the stairway.

Just then Shannon comes down from upstairs. Whereas Faith or even Buffy would have come bouncing down two steps at a time, she slowly walks down each step. She's wearing her usual dress slacks and button up blouse with low heeled shoes on. Her shoulders are held back and head held high. I glance over at Faith in time to see her roll her eyes. Shannon reaches the bottom step and is looking at Faith strangely, I guess she can feel that Faith is more than human too and it has her a little confused.

Joyce walks over to her and says, "Shannon, I'd like you to meet someone. This is Faith, the slayer that was here before you." Then turning to Faith she says, "Faith, this is Shannon. She's been staying with me since she came to town." Joyce seems totally relaxed and has an expectant smile on her face, like she thinks the two of them are going to hug or something. I'm thinking Joyce doesn't remember too well how Buffy and Faith were when Faith first came to town.

Shannon hasn't taken her eyes off of Faith the whole time Joyce was talking. Now she takes a step forward towards Faith and says, "You are her? You are the Slayer that died when I was called?"

Faith looks her up and down and says, "Yea, that would be me, Shan. Guess you're the backup, huh?", and flashes a huge grin, dimples and all.

Shannon takes a deep breath and says, "By the power of the Watchers Council, I am taking you into custody." She then launches herself straight at Faith. Faith trips over the coffee table from the impact and the two of them fly backwards through the living room window. I just stand there for a minute with my head down and eyes closed thinking, 'Kid, you got no idea what you just started'. Then Joyce, Giles and me all move at once for the front door. Somebody better call the Watcher's Council and tell them we're gonna need a new slayer.


	11. A Hunting We Will Go

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 11: A Hunting We Will Go

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

What the fuck? One minute I'm standing in Joyce's livin room playin nice with the wannabe and the next, I'm flyin through the window with this rat terrier attached to the front of me. Xander is so gonna pay for this. I feel my back hit the porch decking and I roll with the fall. I grip the newbie even tighter than she's holdin me, cause she started this shit and she ain't getting away now. As I come outta the roll I push back up to my feet while pulling the mini-slayer with me, I twist and use my hip to flip her over the porch railin. I get a good look in her eyes as I release her and yea baby, she knows she fucked up. Her eyes are wide open with lots of white showin. Guess she just realized she's not so far up on the food chain after all. Heh, heh, heh, this is gonna be fun.

She lands flat on her back in the front yard and I can hear the air explode outta her lungs. Man, that had to hurt. I jump up on the railin and pause a minute before doin a forward flip to land with my feet straddling her waist. Yea, I know I'm showin off. I figure she's gotta learn right now that this might be the biggest fight of her life, but to me it's just another day. I reach down with my right hand and grab her blouse to yank her up. I pull hard and backhand her as her feet leave the ground. She travels about twelve feet and is stopped by a tree in the yard. What? I used my left hand. I told Xand I wouldn't do any permanent damage.

She kinda slouches down, away from the tree and I walk over to her. She looks a little dazed and I figure she's had enough so I try to talk some sense into her. Funny that, me tryin to be the reasonable one, go figure. "Listen Kid," I say to her in a low calm voice, "Let's think about this. I don't know what all ya been told about me, but ya got it wrong. I don't really wanna hurt ya, so let's just stop, okay?"

Her response isn't what I hoped for. She does some kinda fucked up gymnastic tumble and gets behind me. She grabs my arm up behind my back and pulls, hard. My right arm, the one that I always seem to get dislocated. She starts pushin me towards the tree like she's gonna ram my head into it, so I move with her. I step forward and when I'm close enough, I run right up the tree letting her support my weight. I flip my feet up and over my head so I land standin behind her with both my arms free. I gotta end this shit soon or I might hafta really hurt the squirt. In a blur I wrap one arm around the front of her neck, getting the crook of my elbow over her windpipe so I don't accidently crush it. The other arm I use as leverage across the back of her neck. Then I start to squeeze. Doin it this way, I'm just cutting off the blood flow to her brain, not crushing her throat like I woulda done to a demon. I figure two, three minutes and she'll be out like a light. I won't have to really hurt her, except maybe her pride, and I'll have kept my word to Xand.

I hear the others comin out the front door as Sunshine here is twistin and turnin, tryin to break my hold. I wasn't kiddin when I said she didn't have any close combat skills. Any experienced demon that gets close to her is gonna have a slayer snack. I'm gonna hafta tell Giles to fix that in a hurry. Speakin of Giles, there he goes right on cue, "Faith! Stop! Don't hurt her," he says.

"Don't worry G," I yell back over my shoulder. "Little girls need their rest and it's past her beddy time. She's only gonna go to sleep, alright?" I feel Sunshine's struggles getting weaker and ease her down onto the ground. Then I slip my arms from around her neck as her eyes drift closed. I'll let Giles worry about getting her back inside. Me? I'm gonna mount up and move on. I walk over to Joyce and say, "Thanks for havin me over but I think I'm gonna take off. I don't wanna be here when the slayerett wakes up."

She says to me, "Faith, I am so sorry. I had no idea this would have happened. She seems like such a nice girl usually. I don't know what to say."

Joyce has a hard time seeing the bad side of anyone so I tell her, "It's alright, really. Maybe when she wakes up you can talk to her, get her to cool her jets or somethin. Ask Xander to stick around, he might be able to help. Sometimes he actually knows what he's talkin about. Anyway, with Sunshine outta commission for tonight, I'm gonna do a patrol. Can't let the nasties have a free night, right?"

I start walkin towards my bike and when I get along side Xander I say, "Stay with them till she wakes up for me, 'kay? Joyce is gonna talk to her and maybe you could help."

He says, "Sure, I can do that. But you still owe me, Faith."

I look at him like he's crazy and ask, "What? I owe you? What the Christ for?"

He smirks at me and says, "You forgot the bikinis and oil." Then he starts laughin and I gotta join him. He's such a nut sometimes.

"Yea, you just keep dreamin there 'Handy Harris'," I tell him. "I'm gonna go. I'll give ya a call tomorrow."

He waves me off and goes over to help Giles cart the mini-slayer into the house. I kick my bike to life so I can head out to a cemetery and some action. That little tussle just gave me an appetite for destruction.

Good old Sunny D. Thirteen cemeteries, no waitin. At least no waitin to be buried. I been waitin all night, wanderin from one to another of these dead yards and still no one wants to come out and play. Either Sunshine is a lot better slayer than she showed me earlier or Xander's right, there's a little blond ex-slayer, vamp runnin around that's keepin the naughty demons under control. I'm pretty sure it's the second one. Thinkin of Buffy, I start wonderin where I would find her. The night I saved that chick, Marla? Darla? Carla? That was it, Carla, from the vamps, I _know_ B was there. I could feel her, I will never forget the way that connection between us feels. I mean, I could sense the mini-slayer at the house earlier, but it was no way like the connection I got with B.

So I know B's around somewhere I just gotta figure out where. Since she didn't come out the other night, I'm just gonna hafta find her and get her to talk to me. Yea, easier said than done, right? I'm still feelin itchy from the almost non-fight earlier and I'm gonna need some kinda release before I can go home to get some rest. I jump up on top of a tombstone and sit down. I close my eyes and let the slayer sense drift out, tryin to feel if there are any vamps in this cemetery. I've done this once or twice before on slow nights. It actually feels more like hunting than anything else. You let your mind go blank and feel for the subtle vibrations on the wind. The slight tingles across your skin, then when there's a change, something that doesn't feel like it belongs, you slowly concentrate on it. Home in on it. Then run it down and kill it.

I'm startin to slip into the zone now, I can feel the whole cemetery. What's alive, what belongs and what doesn't. There we are. Over at the opposite edge of the cemetery I can feel it, before the woods start. Two, no three vamps. Why are they always in groups of three anymore? Doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm gonna get my slay on and just in time too. I was about to crawl outta my skin with boredom here.

Lettin out a long breath and openin my eyes, I slip from the tombstone. I'm runnin almost before I hit the ground, dashin between and over grave markers like they're not even there. All my attention is focused on the one point that the slayer in me is sayin has got to be destroyed. I'm movin through the cemetery in a blur, but make almost no sound at all. All these years of slayin and surviving, kinda builds up the skill set, ya know?

Lately I've been more careful when slaying. Checking out the sitch before jumpin in, but tonight I just wanna get to it. Be like I used to be. Barrel in, no holds barred and just wail away until it's only me left standin. I dunno why, but it just feels right. And you know me, if it feels good, do it.

I can see them as I race closer. They're lookin around like they know something's comin, but they don't know from where. I use a gravestone to leap up into the air and drop down right in the middle of them. Surprise, surprise, guy's, welcome to the party. It takes a moment for them to realize I'm there, cause a me droppin in all unannounced. When they do, all three of them try and grab me at once. They're almost stummblin over each other to get a piece. As I easily push their grabby hands away from me, I say, "Easy there boys, there's enough of me to go around."

"Not for long," one of them says.

"Yea, yea, yea, witty banter not your strong suit, huh?" I say. And then it's on.

I start off slow, just kinda playin with them. I haven't even pulled out a stake yet. I wanna make this last a little. Ya know, really scratch that itch. We're tradin blows back and forth and yea, their getting a few hits in. I mean, come on. It is three against one and I am holdin back a little. I'm busy fightin two of them after throwin the third one into a crypt wall. I figured he'd be out for a few minutes, so I wasn't payin as much attention as I shoulda. Next thing I know there's a tree branch bein broke over my head, makin me start to see stars. The blow drives me to my knees and it's the openin they've been waitin for. As my head clears, there's a vamp on each arm holdin me in a shoulder lock and I feel my right one startin to protest. That's all I need is for my shoulder to pop outta the socket. Ya know, I'm startin to rethink the whole 'play with em and make it last' strategy I had.

I look around tryin to find something that'll help me outta this mess. It's late and I can feel the sunrise comin, but I don't think it's gonna be in time. The vamp standin in front of me must feel it too cause he says, "Thanks for delivering a bedtime snack for us. We were wondering if there was enough time to go for takeout and here you are. Normal human would have been good, but a slayer? This is going to taste great."

One of the wise guys holdin me says, "Less filling," and the other two morons laugh.

The vamp in front of me starts movin in slowly and that's when I feel it. The tingle that's startin way down low in my stomach and racin up my spine. The little shocks of electricity runnin under my skin, makin my whole body start to vibrate. One of the vamps holdin me says, "Look at this, the big bad slayer is so scared she's shaking," and they all laugh some more. These dumbass vamps mistake it for fear instead of what it really is. Their doom.

I look to the left of the one standin in front of me and a full blown smile comes to my lips. There she is standin behind this clueless bastard. She's got her vamp face on but I gotta tell ya, I was never more glad to see anyone in my life.

"Hey Faith," she says to me while slowly walkin closer. "Catch you at a bad time?"

"Nah, we were just discussin the finer points of dining," I say back. I still can't stop smiling at her. "It's great to see ya, Buffy."

The vamp on my right looks at me, then over to B, then back at me and says, "Oh shit!" He let's go of me and starts runnin like his ass is on fire. He musta been the smart one of the group. B kicks the branch he used to hit me in the head with up offa the ground, grabbin it in mid air she turns and throws it at him like a spear. Before he can get more than ten feet away, the force of it hittin home lifts him offa his feet and he's just a dust cloud a moment later.

I use my free hand to pull a stake outta my boot and twist to the side, brining it up and into the vamp that's still holdin me. Poof, whoosh, and then there was one. B is facin off with him and he's starin at her like she's nuts. "What the hell did you do that for?" he screams at her. "She's the goddamn slayer and was going to be dinner!" Yea, he really wasn't the sharpest pencil in the drawer.

B gets right up in his face and says, "She's not dinner. She's Faith. Deliver the message to all your friends that she is strictly hands off. You got me?" Then she cocks her head to the side and says, "Never mind, I'll delivery it myself." Almost too fast to see she plunges her fist through his chest and yanks out his heart. His legs give out and he dusts away before he even hits the ground. I drag my eyes back from where he woulda landed to see the lump in B's hand turn to ash and drift through her fingers.

"Thanks for the help B, but I gotta tell ya, that's wicked gross," I say. I start walkin over to her and she turns quickly away.

She covers her face with her hands and practically yells at me, "Don't look at me!"

I stop where I am and try to figure out what's goin on. "B…..," I say, "Buffy, what's wrong. Look at me." She's still turned away and I can see the golden highlights in her hair. The slight curve of her ear as the rising sun pushes away the shadows. Fuck! The suns comin up and she's standin out in the open. I jump forward and grab her around the waist. Runnin over to the nearest crypt I kick the door so hard it explodes off the hinges and throw myself, still holdin Buffy, inside. All I'm seein in my mind is that day on the pier when the sun came up and she started to burn. I will NOT let that happen again. I roll us over so I'm layin on top of her and I'm searchin her all over for any sign that she's on fire.

She puts her hands on my chest and pushes me up. Lookin in my eyes she says, "What the hell was that all about? I save your life and you repay me by just about breaking my neck? Jesus, Faith. A little gratitude would have been nice."

I'm starin back at her and I don't believe it. The vamp face is gone and she's smiling up at me. There's not a mark on that beautiful face of hers. No sign of any damage at all to her long blonde hair or emerald green eyes. I look down to her left hand and there, sittin on her ring finger, is the gem of Amara. I look up into B's face, she's wearin a little pout and says with just a touch of a whine in her voice, "Well, I made sure you were safe first before I went back for it. What was I supposed to do? Just hang out underwater till the sun went down? Do you have any idea what kind of creatures are in the ocean around here?"

I'm so stunned I sit there with my jaw dropped open, then I start laughin my ass off. This is crazy. I move my hands up to her cheeks letting my body rest down on her fully. Cuppin her face, I lean in and give her the deepest kiss I can. She's hesitant at first, kinda holdin herself back. Then I feel her relax and she begins to kiss me back. For the first time I think comin back to Sunnydale was the best move I ever made.


	12. Friends Or Lovers?

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 12: Friends or Lovers?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

Talk about crazy, right? An hour ago I was thinkin I was gonna die cause some vamps got lucky. Then I'm recued by the girl I thought I might never see again and now I'm laying in a crypt makin out with her. Damn, but she feels good. Yea, a little cool to the touch at first, but now I'm getting her all kinds of warmed up. The make out session combined with the sun comin up is startin to make it really hot in here. I roll over pullin B on top of me to free up my hands. I just wanna let them wander all over her tight little body, let them remember the way she feels, the way she makes me feel. I start to run them up under her top and she reaches down to stop them.

"Faith, wait, slow down," she says with a groan. "We have to stop now."

What? And again, what? I just got her back after months of thinkin she was gone forever and she expects me to stop? I tell her in a husky whisper, "No way, Blondie. I don't ever wanna stop." Then I go back to nuzzling her neck.

She lets out a small sigh of pleasure and shakes her head like she's comin outta a trance. "No Faith," she tells me while pushin away from me. "We need to stop. _I_ really need to stop" B pulls back from me and gets up. She starts straightening out her top while walkin over to the doorway.

"Whadaya mean? Christ B, you're killin me here," I tell her. Then I ask in a quieter tone, "What's goin on? Are we………are we not alright?" I automatically start thinkin, 'Maybe she doesn't want me as much as I want her. Maybe she can't forgive me for what I did to her.'

She looks back at me with a sad expression and says, "We're going to be okay, just…..not here. Not like this. Let's go somewhere else to talk. You're staying at the mansion, right?"

"Yea, I moved in yesterday," I tell her. Then I give her a grin and say, "I gotta tell ya that place is the kick. You didn't need to set me up like that, ya know."

She gives me a little smile and says with a shrug, "I seem to remember telling you I wanted to take care of you and so I did."

Lettin out a long breath, cause what I really wanna do is taste every part of her, I tell her, "Alright, B, come on, let's go home." I get up and walk over to take her hand as we leave the crypt. I lead her over to where my bike is parked and I just can't get over how good she looks in the morning sunlight. Suddenly she stops a few steps away from the bike like she hit a wall.

"We're going to ride on that thing?" she asks pointing at my ride. She kinda looks like I just asked her to jump outta an airplane…... without a chute.

I give her a push and say, "Don't be such a wuss, B. It's not like it'll kill ya if I crash this thing ya know." I throw a leg over the bike and hold out my hand to her. She's still lookin a little nervous as she takes my hand and I laugh as I pull her closer.

She climbs on behind me and puts a hand on both sides of my waist. "Uh, uh," I say. "Like this," I grab her arms and pull them tight around me. "Wouldn't wantcha to fall off or nothin". I can feel her arms tighten and I'm thinking how good it feels to have her arms around me again.

I start the bike and over the engine she says, "Shouldn't we have helmets or something?"

"I look over my shoulder at her and give a big smile as I say, "Not with a head as hard as yours, babe." She smacks my shoulder and I pull away headed for home.

Once we get back home, she stops again as I go through the door. Turnin around I ask, "Whatcha waitin for? An engraved invite?"

"Well, not engraved, but an invite would be nice," she tells me. She's standing there looking at me with a little smile like I'm missin something.

I tilt my head and look at her a little confused.

"I can't come in unless you invite me. Vampire, Remember?" she says. "I gave you this place, so it's not mine anymore. You need to invite me in.…..unless you don't want to. I wouldn't blame you, with me going all evil queen vamp." She said it as a joke, but I can feel she might believe it's true.

The look she has on her face as she says that last part is enough to break my heart. She won't look me in the eyes and it's almost like she's afraid of what I might say. Walkin back over to her I lift her chin with my hand and tell her, "Wherever I am, you belong. And ya weren't exactly all 'evil queen vamp'. You were more of a 'turnin evil princess vamp'." She gives me a small smile and I say with all the feelin I have for her, "You are _always_ invited with me." Then I lean in and give her a long slow kiss while pullin her through the doorway and into the house. When we break the kiss, I'm a little breathless and startin to get my engine revved again.

B's starin in my eyes and says, "How can you do that to me every time? When you kiss me, I feel like I'm alive."

"You know me B, just chock full of natural talent," I say and wiggle my eyebrows at her. She laughs and we move further into the livin room to flop on the couch. "So what was with the weirdness back there?" I ask. "I mean, yea, not the most romantic settin in the world, but come on B, ya gotta know how much I been missin ya."

"I missed you too, Faith," she tells me. "When I saw that I knocked you into the water and then you didn't come back up, I went a little nuts. Feeling the sun start to cook me didn't help with the going nuts part either. That's why I jumped in the water, to save you. I wasn't really thinking about getting away from the sun."

"About that," I say and now I can't look at her. "I didn't know about the ensouling spell. Buffy, I am so sorry. I just didn't know what else to do. You were changing and goin all evil and shit and…………."

She leans over and stops my rambling with a finger over my mouth. Anyone else tried that shit woulda been pullin back a nub, but for her I'll put up with anything. "Shhh," she says. "Let it go Faith. You did the right thing and I survived." She looks away from me and continues, "I'm still not sure I want to, but I did. God, how you must hate me after I made you go through all that. I can't imagine how much strength it took for you to set me free. After,…..after I tried to make you into a monster, into a monster like me, I couldn't blame you if you never wanted to see me again."

"Don't talk shit like that B," I lean over and turn her to face me as I tell her with all the feelin I have, "When I thought you were gone, part of me died too. I spent the last coupla months not carin whether I died or not, just driftin around waitin for it to happen, ya know? I can't lose ya again, Buffy. I won't lose you again."

"I feel the same about you, Faith," she says softly. "That's what makes this so hard."

"What's so hard about it B?" I ask. "You, me, a big, wicked ass mansion that has a bed big enough for four people. Sounds pretty sweet to me. Not really seein the problem here," I finish.

She gets up and starts pacin in front of the couch, kinda wringin her hands together. "That's just it. This is almost too perfect, Faith. I think I could be really happy here." Then she stops and looks into my eyes. "With you, I could be _perfectly_ happy here."

And that's when it hits me. I know what the problem is. The same problem that kept her and Angel from getting horizontal for a second time. The friggin 'lose your soul clause' in the goddamn ensoulin spell. "Son of a bitch," I breathe out as I hang my head. "Christ B, I forgot about that. How the hell can I be so stupid?"

Buffy comes over and kneels in front of me looking up into my face. "You're not stupid Faith. It's just something we both want so much that we got a little distracted, that's all. It doesn't mean we can't be together, it just means we have to be careful. Not go too far. We'll just have to show some restraint and control, that's all."

I look at her like she's outta her mind. "Yeah, right, restraint and control, huh," I say. "We all know how good I am with restraint and control, B. We are soooo screwed."

She gives me a little smile and tilts her head to the side in that way I love, then says, "Well, I can't have a moment of complete happiness, but that doesn't mean I can't give one to you." She starts wigglin her eyebrows at me and I bust out laughin.

I slide off the couch and into her arms, trying to make her feel how much I really care for her. I tell her in a teasin tone, "I dunno B, some people get a happy just watchin me dance. Think ya can resist all this slayerly goodness?"

"I think I'll take the chance," she says. She leans into me and we kiss. It feels like the first time, every time. Guess it must be true love, huh. Figures, I fall in love, she comes back from the dead, we find each other again and if we ever really get together, she's gonna turn into the next big bad. I shoulda known, every time I get close to havin everything I want something has to come along and stop it. I ever tell ya how much my life can suck?


	13. The One Who Sees

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 13: The One Who Sees

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

'Just another day in Sunnydale' I think while I'm walking down the school halls. People are busy at their lockers, getting ready to go home for the day. It always amazes me that none of these people realize the battles that are being fought all around them to keep them safe. It's almost like they're under a spell or something to keep them oblivious. Even when they run into something supernatural and have to be saved, the next day they go back to acting like it never happened. Weird, huh?

I'm headed to the library to talk to Giles about how he made out with Shannon last night after I left. Ugh, Giles making out with Shannon? Man, that thought is going to leave a scar, I just know it. Anyway, you want to talk about fireworks? When she finally woke up after the 'go to sleep' hold Faith threw on her, she almost went crazy. She jumped up off the bed we laid her down on and started looking all around like Faith was hiding somewhere just waiting to jump out at her. We tried to calm her down. Giles was doing his low 'please don't jump off the ledge' voice and I was trying to look as harmless as possible. I don't think Shannon was buying it though. She remembered that I was the one that came to the house with Faith and she seemed to be taking it like a betrayal or something. I guess she forgot that we were Faith's friends first. Or at least before she got here.

It was Joyce who was finally able to calm Shannon down and actually talk to her. Joyce just has that motherly way about her that no one can resist. She sat Shannon down and started telling her how much she cared for Faith, how Faith had helped her through Buffy's death, and that Shannon shouldn't really believe everything the Council might have told her. After all, they never even met Faith. I don't think Shannon was really interested in what Joyce was saying, but she did lose the trapped animal look. When I left both Joyce and Giles were trying to convince Shannon that she should give it some time and make her own decision about Faith. I didn't stick around for the end of that conversation because Shannon kept shooting me looks that were making me nervous.

I guess it's not easy finding out that you're not as tough as you thought. And Faith took her out without even breaking a sweat. That thought makes me smile. Just seeing Faith in action again brought back all kinds of memories from when we all used to patrol together. Although looking back, it doesn't seem like Faith was there as much as she should have been. That was our fault too, I guess.

I can see now that we weren't always as nice to her as we should have been. I suppose it was all part of the 'being in love with Buffy' thing for me, that I couldn't see what Faith was feeling at the time. I'm not real sure what Willow's excuse was and Giles was busy being Buffy's Watcher and didn't realize Faith needed one too. Not until after Buffy was gone anyhow. Of course now I know better, but I'll tell you, that better late than never saying is crap. You have to be careful about what you say and do to people all the time, because once it's done, you may never have the chance to change it.

That's why I was trying so hard at first to help Shannon. Not that I'm not going to help her now, but since she went Council happy on Faith last night I think Faith will need me more than the new slayer. Besides she has Willow backing her and Will isn't the sweet naive girl she used to be. In fact unless I'm really clueless, Will is backing Shannon in more ways than just helping with the slaying. The last time I saw that look in her eyes was when she and Oz were together. She's got that look that says she's soaking up everything that Shannon says or does and it's all good with her. Guess I'm not the only one with a thing for slayers around here.

Speaking of Will, I'm not sure how she's going to react to the fact that Faith is back and the first thing she does is send Will's girl to slumber land. This may take some very special spin control for me to keep her from throwing major mojo at Faith. Will has gotten a little too good, too quick, with the magic's for me not to keep an eye on her. I'm not saying she would hurt Faith, but turning her into a toad or giving her a big wart in the middle of her face for a couple of weeks wouldn't be beyond her. In fact, Willow would get a kick out of being able to do it. And I just know that Faith wouldn't take that shit lying down. Then I'd have an all out war I'd have to try and defuse. Yea, it's better if I just head it all off early. That'll be project number two today, after I talk to Giles and make sure things with Shannon are better.

When I walk into the library, there's Giles, leaning on the table talking to both Shannon and Willow. Well, it just looks like I'm going to have to take care of both problems at once. As I walk over to the table, Willow looks up at me and I can see in her eyes she is so not happy to see me. "Hey Wills, Hi Shannon, what's shaking G-man?" I say. I might as well try for light conversation, maybe that'll get Will to chill out some. Oops, guess not.

"Alexander Lavelle Harris, what were you thinking bringing Faith back here?" Willow starts in almost before I finished saying hello. "Why didn't you tell anyone? What, you thought you could just go off and bring back another slayer to figure out what's going on around here? We don't need another slayer. We have a slayer. See? Here she is, sitting right here being all slayerly. Not that she's slaying right this minute, but she could if she had to. The slightest sign of trouble and BAM, Shannon would be making with the slay action."

Will had stood up and started walking towards me the whole time she was talking, so I raise my hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Will, please calm down for a minute. You going to let me talk or should I just sit down, shut up and keep listening?" I ask her with a smirk. That stops her in her tracks and I figure I better keep talking or she will. "

"First off," I say, "I didn't know that I had to clear everything I do through you. Secondly, I wasn't even sure I could find her and if I did, I wasn't sure she would come back with me. What was the point of saying anything to you guy's when I didn't even know what would happen?" Now I'm walking forward making Will step backwards towards the table where Shannon is sitting looking at me like I'm something to scrape off her shoe. Will backs into the chair she was at and sits down with a thump. "And lastly," I continue, "By the time I found out where Faith was and decided to go ask her to come home, you were all ready wrapped up in little miss British here. I didn't think you'd even notice I was gone."

"As for Giles," I say while turning to look at him, "He was busy with trying to figure out what was going on around here, as well as training a new slayer, I also wasn't too sure how he would feel about me trying to get Faith back. Things were a little frosty between them when she left." Looking back to Willow I ask with a big smile, "So how's your day going?"

"Don't you 'how's your day going' me, buster,' Will says. "Faith wasn't even here a full day and the first thing she does is attack Shannon. Explain that one mister."

Giles finally speaks up, "Willow, I've already told you that it was not Faith's fault that she and Shannon had a misunderstanding. I assure you, Faith was completely innocent in that altercation. Shannon was responding to what she was taught by the Council, no matter how misguided it was. We have since agreed that perhaps she should gather some firsthand information before deciding what is true and what may not be entirely accurate."

"That's still no reason for Faith to have practically choked her to death," Will mumbles while looking over to Shannon.

Shannon says, "I could have taken her. She just surprised me for a moment." Yeah, I think, in your dreams you could have taken her. Faith had the newbie wrapped up and going to sleep before we even got out of the door.

"Rest assured Willow," Giles said while rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Faith knew exactly what she was doing and was merely trying to put an end to the altercation with the least possible physical damage. To either of you."

It looks like Giles has had this conversation with Willow already this morning. Good. That means I won't have to keep arguing with her, because I really don't want to talk about it anymore. Faith's back and we're going to find Buffy and then we're going to help her. Period. End of story. Judging by the way Willow is acting, on top of the way Shannon attacked Faith last night, there's no way in hell I'm going to share that Buffy is probably alive and keeping the demon underworld in line. At least not until I absolutely have to.

"If we may, I would like to get back to the business at hand," Giles says. "Xander, before you came in we were going over the aspects of this vampire Shannon has been trying to track down. Though it is unusual for a vampire to actively hunt down its own kind, it is not without precedent. In most cases it is a matter of a new vampire coming in and claiming its territory by eliminating the competition, as it were. This however, does not seem to be the case here. There has been no increase in demonic activity in the area, in fact, it appears that the demonic forces are at an all time low."

"That sounds like it would be of the good. Doesn't it?" I ask. Maybe I could get them to just let it go and the Buffster could just keep doing her thing.

"While a reduced demon influence in the area is normally a good sign, I can't help but feel that this is more of a lull before the storm." Giles said, "I think it best if we find out what is behind this purging of the dark forces and more importantly the reason driving it."

Guess it's no such luck that they would leave this one alone. That means Faith is going to have to find Buffy in a hurry to warn her. I'll call her later to let her know what's up.

Giles was pacing in front of us as he spoke, "This new vampire may in fact be just clearing the way for something of an even greater evil to take root. Shannon, I would suggest that you step up your patrols. If we cannot confirm the reasons behind the vampire's actions, I see no choice but for you to simply kill it. I believe this is a case of better safe than sorry. Willow, if you could continue your research on the computer for any indication of what may be behind this, I would greatly appreciate it. Xander, I would suggest that since you have brought Faith back to us, that you accompany her on patrols. Having both slayers in town should allow us to cover a much greater area."

Shannon spoke up again, "I do not need her to help me. By the councils order Mr. Giles, you should be concentrating on turning this Faith person over to them for the good of everyone."

Giles was just about to respond when the phone in his office rang. While he went to answer it I tried to talk to Shannon and Willow some more. "Look Shannon, I know what you've been told, but didn't any of what Joyce said to you last night sink in? You like Joyce, right? You think she's a good person?"

She looked at me kind of suspiciously and said, "Yes.'

"Then don't you think she would know if Faith was evil or not? She's known and helped faith for a long time, you really should trust her judgment a little," I finished.

I saw Will start to argue with me, and then Giles called out to Shannon that the phone call was for her. Shannon went into the office as Giles came out so I went over and sat in the chair she was in. This gave me a straight view into Giles' office and I could see Shannon standing there on the phone. I could also just barely hear what she was saying.

Giles was talking to Willow about some of the possible internet searches she could do so I tuned them out and tried to listen to Shannon. Yeah, I know that it's rude, but the only people that would call her were the Council. If they were cooking something up I wanted to be able to warn Faith. As I listened I could only catch pieces of what she said.

"Hello Uncle"

"………….."

"Well I saw her last night but was caught off guard."

"………………"

"I know. It will not happen again."

"………………………………………………………………………."

"Okay, if you send it to Mrs. Summers' house, I'm sure she will see that I get it."

"………………………………………………………."

"No, I do not remember ever having heard of 'Interfector Mortis'." Just then she realizes the office door is open and she pushes it closed. Now I can't hear her anymore.

I run what I did hear of her conversation back over in my mind. The Council is sending her something. Probably to help her capture Faith but what it could be I don't have any idea. And as far as the last part of the conversation, what the hell is Interfector Mortis? I'm going to have to talk this over with Faith later and maybe between us we can come up with what it means. I just hope it doesn't turn out to be a nasty surprise. I've had enough surprises lately to last me a year.


	14. Choosing Sides

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 14: Choosing Sides

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

Shannon came back out of the office a little while later and had a smug look on her face. She went over to sit down next to Willow and was sort of just staring off into space. Giles cleared his throat and asked her, "Is everything alright Shannon?"

She slowly looked up at him and said, "Yes Mr. Giles. Everything is fine." Then she went back to ignoring us all.

Giles was clearly getting irritated and asked, "Did the Council have any insight on our problem with the rouge vampire?"

"No, not really. They just suggested we continue to investigate and they agree with you that the vampire should be found and terminated," she said.

"Yes, well then I suggest we get started," Giles replied. "Xander, if you would please contact Faith and ask her to focus her patrolling on the west side of town, Shannon will concentrate on the east side." Giles then continued, "Has Faith moved into her new house yet? I'm sure she could stay with Joyce again if she wanted. It would provide a chance for Shannon to better get to know her."

"As my Watcher, I will obey your request Mr. Giles, however, I do not need her help, nor do I wish to 'get to know her better'," Shannon says finally losing the smug look and I could see she was so not a happy camper.

"She's in but still getting settled," I say to him. "I'll let her know about the patrol plans when I see her." I'm guessing that they were talking about Faith's 'inheritance' so Shannon probably already knew where Faith would be staying. That could be a problem, even though I'm sure Faith would love the chance to teach Shannon about personal boundaries. And that thought makes _me_ a happy camper. I was still watching Shannon and didn't like the look in her eyes. She knew something and wasn't sharing. I just hoped she wouldn't do something stupid.

I'm starting to really not like Shannon. I don't like the fact that she is dead set against giving Faith a chance and it reminds me a little too much of the way we all treated Faith when she first came to Sunnydale. I also would like to know more about the conversation she had with 'Uncle Travers', but can't think of a way to call her on it. Maybe she'll confide in Willow once I leave, then I can find out more from Wills. At least that's the best plan I can come up with right now.

"I'm going to go find Faith, Giles," I say. "Bye girls, I'll talk to you later Willow?"

"Sure, Xand. See you," Will tells me and gives a little wave.

I leave the library and head to the computer lab. I want to get a hold of Faith, but that last part of Shannon's talk with Travers has me nervous so I'm going to do some checking on the net first. What was it she said? ………Infecting Morris? ……In fact Marty? ……..Interfector Mortis? I guess I'll have to try them all.

(_Interfector Mortis is Latin for Killer of the Dead_)

Faith's POV-

I wake up slowly to the feel of a body draped over mine. A very familiar, tiny, female body, that I'm sharing my warmth with. I keep my eyes closed and pull her closer, enjoying the sensation of her silky skin pressed firmly up against me. She has one leg thrown over mine with her knee pressed up tight against me. Those tingles I get whenever Buffy is near are racing through my body, from low in my belly, travelin up my spine and then out to my hands and feet. Then it starts all over again. My whole body feels like a tuning fork vibratin just for her. God, I wanna wake up like this every day. Keepin my eyes closed I let the memory of last night flow through my mind.

We moved from the livin room to the bedroom after makin out on the couch. B was leadin me through the house while keepin me distracted with lots of kisses and nuzzling along my jaw line. She kept hittin that spot right below my ear that turns my legs to jelly and was pretty much carryin me the last few feet to the bed. Once there she laid me back on it and slowly stood up. Starin in my eyes the whole time, she pulled her tank top over her head and threw it in a corner. Still watching me, she reached behind her and I could hear the zipper on her mini-skirt as she pulled it down. The next moment it fell away leaving her in just her lace bra and panties.

I'm not one for the poetic shit, but as I watched her standin there watching me, all I could think of was words like, majestic, magnificent. She looked better than the most beautiful sunset imaginable. A part of some poem popped into my head, 'she walks in beauty like the night'……That's really all I could remember, I just knew that she was fucking hot. And the way she was watching me was makin me hotter by the minute.

B slowly ran her tongue out and licked her lips as she finally started toward the bed. She crawled onto the bottom of the bed and oh so slowly made her way up to me. All the while she kept lookin me right in the eyes and not sayin a word. She let the look on her face say everything that needed to be said. As she climbed up over me, B slid her body along mine. Her breasts first grazin over my legs, then up along my stomach and finally stopping against my own when we were face to face, a bare breath separating our lips. Straddlin my hips she reached behind my shoulders and leaned back pullin me up with her. As she lifted me, she pulled my shirt off over my head and threw it to join her own in the corner.

As she lowered my shoulders back down I felt the clasp on my bra give way and that too was tossed to the side. Sitting on top of me, B started a slow circular grind with her hips that made my breath catch in my throat. Every time her hips moved backward, she would press down, pushing against me, causing white hot electric shocks to echo through me, joining the vibrations from our connection. The sensations were almost too much for me to take and I tried to reach up and touch her. She arched her back, pressing herself into my hands with a low moan.

Leaning forward again, she ran kisses up my jaw and whispered in my ear, "Faith, I missed you so much." Then she started sucking on my pulse point. Man, if I thought I was hot for her before, my wanting her just tripled.

I reached around and unhooked her bra and she let it slide down her arms as she pulled back up from me. I threw it blindly to the side since I couldn't take my eyes off her. B was still doin that slow grind and my whole body was wet for her. She gave me a small smile and started to slide back down my body, while slowly dragging her hands down my chest as she moved. She was lightly scraping along my skin with her nails, across my breasts, makin small circles on my stomach, until finally unhooking my jeans and pulling them off to join our other clothes.

Movin back up, she started kissing the insides of my legs, first the left, than the right. Lightly runnin her tongue along the inside of my thighs until I was squirming around so hard she had to use one hand to hold me in place. By this point I was beyond words, all I could do was moan out her name and make little squeaking noises. She had worked her way back up to the innermost spot on my thigh and started sucking there. The moment I felt that, my body jerked up almost flying off the bed. I reached down and grabbed her hair to try and hold on for all I was worth. Jesus, I didn't ever want her to stop.

I don't know why but I suddenly remembered what it was like when she bit me the first time we were together. I wanted that feeling again. I needed that feeling again. The feeling that I was becoming a part of her and would always be a part of her. In a way it was the truest form of giving myself to her. Pulling on her hair a little to get her to look up at me I say, "B,…..B,…."

She looks up and mumbles against my skin, "Yes, Faith?" Holy Christ, the vibrations from her voice ran right through my skin and seemed to hit every nerve in my body.

"Ugggghhhhh, Holy shit B," I pant out. "B, I want you to bite me……..like you did before."

"Faith, are you sure?" She asked. She has her head tilted and is lookin at me to make sure I knew what I was sayin.

"Yea baby, I am so sure. I never been surer about anything. Please, B." Okay so she has me beggin for it, bet you would be too.

She gives me a big shit eatin grin and says, "Oh yea, my pleasure lover." Then she puts her head back down and starts lickin and suckin on the other side. I'm just about to ask her again when I feel it. A slight sharp pain for only a second and then my world explodes in pleasure.

We spent the rest of the night with B showin me just how much she missed me. The only thing that woulda made it more perfect woulda been if she let me touch her the way she was touchin me. Every time I would reach for her or she would feel herself losin control, she would gently, but firmly, push my hands away. We hafta find a way around that whole 'get a happy, lose your soul' crap. I mean, what kinda curse is it for a vamp if you're givin a conscience, then if ya have a moment of perfect happiness ya lose it? After ya lost your conscience what would ya care? And after the way B treated me last night, all I can think about is returnin the favor. Over and over and over.

Damn, even the memory of that has me ready to go again. Without even thinkin about it I squeeze my legs together pressing her knee even closer against me. I open my eyes slowly and just watch B as she sleeps layin on top of me. I reach up and slowly run my fingers through her hair. All of sudden I feel like I want to cry. How the hell did I ever even think of trying to kill her? How stupid could I of been to try and rid the world of the one person that could ever make me feel like this. I knew right then in that moment that if anything ever happened to Buffy, that would be it for me. I would find the biggest, most vicious nest of demons I could and just wade in. Suicide by demons, there are worse ways to go.

I'm dragged out of these thoughts when I notice B has woken up and is just lookin at me. I give her my biggest smile, the one with full dimples like I know she likes and say, "Mornin beautiful."

"More like afternoon," she says. Watcha thinkin about?"

"Nothin much," I answer her. "Why?"

"I don't know," she tells me. "You just had the saddest look on your face I've ever seen. You…you don't regret last night do you?"

"Oh hell no, B," I tell her quickly. "Seriously? My only regret was that I tried to kill you that day. I would give anything to take that back. I was just thinkin that I could never keep goin without you."

She reaches up to caress my cheek and says, "Faith, I thought we put that behind us. You didn't have a choice then. I wouldn't have wanted to keep living like that. It wouldn't of really been me anyway, just some demon wearing a Buffy suit. Please baby, try not to think about it anymore. Okay?"

I lean down and give her a kiss, once again thankin whatever powers there are that we can finally be together and say, "Okay Buffy. I'll try and let it go."

She smiles at me and starts to get up, "Come on sleepy head, time to get up. I have to go get something to eat. I'm starved."

"Well if you're really interested in eatin….,"I tell her with a smirk. I look down at my body then back up to her and wiggle my eyebrows.

She laughs at me and throws a pillow at my head. "Later for that. I would have thought you had enough last night."

"I could never get enough of you," I say seriously.

She comes over and gives me a kiss and says, "Me too."

Before this can go any further my phone starts ringing. Giving a huge sigh I reach over for it and B tells me, "Saved by the bell. I'm going to grab a shower." Then she leaves.

I flip open the phone and growl into it, "Somebody better be dead, or else you're gonna be."

"And a good day to you too Faith," Xander voice says. "You always so pleasant in the afternoon?"

"Hey Xand," I answer. "Nah, ya just got lousy timin that's all. What's up?"

"Well, I stopped in to see Giles today, Shannon was there and she is not a bundle of joy right now," he says.

"Like I care what she is," I say.

"Yeah, I knew you would be all concerned," and I can hear the laugh in his voice. "Anyway, G-man wants you guys to split up the patrolling and you luckily got stuck with me as a partner. Can I come over so we can talk? By the way, how'd the patrol go last night?"

"The patrol was……………interesting. And yea, give me an hour and come on by. There's something's I gotta tell ya anyway," I tell him.

"Alright, I'll see you then. Bye," he tells me then hangs up.

I throw the phone onto the bedside table and get up to go join B in the shower. I figure that's the best place to let her know we're havin a guest.


	15. Seeing Is Believing

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 15: Seeing is Believing

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

I pull up to Faith's place and see that she left her bike sitting out front last night when she got back from patrol. The way she went crazy over getting it, you would think she'd take the time to put it in the garage. Well, whoever said that Faith was consistent? I walk up to the door and ring the bell. I can hear the deep chimes ringing through the house. For some reason I expect to see a little hunchback guy running around screaming 'the bells, the bells!'. You know, I really need to cut down on my Saturday morning cartoon watching.

I'm just reaching out to hit the door bell again when the door swings open. Faith is standing there in her leather pants and black tee shirt giving me a wicked smile. "Good Evenink," she says. Then she busts out laughing. I don't really get the joke but smile along with her anyway. Like I said, Faith can be a little strange some times.

She steps back from the door and I walk in saying, "Hey Faith. Have you been hitting the sauce a little early tonight?"

She walks past me heading for the living room and says over her shoulder, "Nah, Xand. I'm just in a wicked good mood." She then turns around to me while sorta gesturing into the room further and says, "You remember B, right?"

I look to where she's motioning and standing there is Buffy. "Hey Xand, long time no see," she says. That's when my legs give out and I sit down on the floor. Hard.

The two of them are standing there laughing their asses off at me while all I can do is sit here with my jaw hanging open and flapping in the breeze. My pals…, the Bitches.

"What, you're not even going to say hello to me?" Buffy asks with a fake pout.

Faith walks over behind Buff and puts her arms around her. Looking over Buffy's shoulder at me she says, "I dunno B, I think we broke him." Then the two of them start laughing again. Yep, they can be Bitches alright.

I laugh a little at myself and am starting to get my head together, so I stand up slowly while saying to them, "I'm glad you two find me so amusing. Why not give me a heart attack next time? Then there'd be only one of us here walking around with a heartbeat."

"Don't be like that Xander," Buffy says with her pout back in place. "I wanted to break it to you slowly, but Faith thought it would be funny to surprise you. It actually was, kinda."

"Yeah, Hardy, Har, Har, Har," I tell them as I go over to the couch and sit down.

"Oh relax, Xand. It was only a joke," Faith says. "Tell ya what, we'll make it up to ya. What'll it take for ya to forgive us?"

"I'm thinking something that has to do with about a gallon of baby oil…..," I say with a smirk.

Buffy says, "I don't think so."

"Yea, that show was earlier and you missed it," Faith tells me with a smile. "Too bad. How bout something to drink instead?"

Great, now I'm really in pain. "That's not the same, but since it's the best I'm going to get I'll take it," I say.

As Faith goes to the kitchen to get my drink I look over at Buffy. "You know," I start to say, "I kinda thought that you were still around Buff. The way Shannon had described the vampire that was keeping the demon population down sounded like you. But it still shocked the shit out of me to see you standing there. Guess seeing is really believing."

"Shannon?" Buffy asks.

"Yeah, she's the new slayer that was called. She's been staying with your mom," I tell her. "By the way, how come you can stand there in the sun and you're not making with the toast impression?" I had thought that Faith said the gem of Amara was lost in the ocean when she threw it in.

Buffy holds up her hand and I can see the green gemmed ring on her finger. "A little present that Faith gave me. After Giles pulled her out of the water, I went back for it."

Faith comes back in and hands me my drink. "So Xand, this was my news, is yours gonna top it?"

"I don't think anything can top the fact that Buffy is alive, sort of," I smile over at Buff to show I'm teasing, "and standing here. But, before I left to call you, Shannon got a call from the Council."

"What did they want?" Buffy asks and I can see that she is not happy. She didn't think much of them when she was the slayer so I'm pretty sure her opinion didn't improve with her turning vamp.

"Wish I knew," I tell them. "I could only hear part of Shannon's side of the call. It sounds like they're going to send her something though. It may be something to help Shannon with capturing Faith."

"Capturing Faith," Buffy yells. "What the hell do they want to capture Faith for?"

I turn to Faith and say, "You haven't told her about Shannon having the whole 'Go team Council' thing going on?"

"Not yet," she answers looking down at her hands, "We've been kinda busy. Ya know, catching up and shit."

"Yeah, catching up? Is that what you kids are calling it these days? Nice way to put it," I say.

"Okay Buff, long story short," I tell her, "Shannon's been with the Council for a long time. They convinced her that Faith is psycho and a danger to everyone. One of her directives is that if she finds Faith, to subdue her and send her back to the Council for 'reconditioning'. We tried to tell Shannon that Faith wasn't like the Council said and even tried to get her to meet Faith to make up her own mind." I've seen the look that's shining out of Buffy's eyes before. It usually means something is in for a whole lot of pain.

Buffy is standing there with her arms folded and one leg cocked. It's her 'I'm really getting pissed' stance. "And how did that idea work out?" She asks.

I get up to move behind the couch. I want something between me and Buff when I tell her the next part. "Weeeelllllll," I say, "Shannon kind of tackled Faith through a window about two minutes after she first laid eyes on her." Then I duck down behind the couch and wait for the explosion.

I don't hear anything breaking so I chance a look up. Buffy is headed for the front door and Faith just caught up to her. Faith grabs her by the arm and says, "Whoa, there princess. Where do ya think you're going?"

"I want to have a talk with Little Miss 'Throw My Girlfriend Through the Window'. That's where," Buffy tells her.

Faith gives Buffy a smile and says, "You'd do that for me?"

"Damn right, now if you'll let me go I should be back in no time," Buff answers her.

"Easy there killer," Faith says with a laugh. "I appreciate you defendin my honor and all, but I already took care of it."

Buffy looks back over to me and I tell her, "She's right, Buff. Shannon attacked Faith two minutes after seeing her, and Faith put her to sleep with a choke hold about one minute after that. She laid her out so well Shannon didn't wake up for a couple hours."

Buffy looked back at Faith and gave her a grin. "That's my girl," she said.

The two of them came back over to the couch and sat down. I plopped down in a chair next to them and said, "So the deal is that Giles wants us to patrol the west side of town while Shannon takes the east side. Us being me and Faith cause, you know, he doesn't know about Buff being around. He figures that with two slayers patrolling separate areas, we'll be able to track down the rogue vamp in no time. Hey, I guess he was right. Here you are!" Ha, now it's my turn to laugh at them.

"Very funny, Xander," Buffy says to me. What? I thought it was funny. Funnier than the joke they played on me when I got here anyway.

"So since we know there is no 'rogue vampire' to try and hunt down, what do we do? Just a regular patrol?" I ask. "Or do you guys want to just hang out here and give that baby oil thing a try?"

Buffy swats me on my arm while Faith just laughs at me and says, "We go on patrol Xand. There's still demons out there that need to have their asses kicked and ya know I get grumpy if I don't get my slay on."

"Yeah," Buffy adds with a little grin, "and maybe if I'm lucky I'll run into the newbie so we can chat."

"There should be no chance of that Buff," I tell her. "Giles told Shannon to stick to the east side of town and she's pretty use to obeying orders. Especially from Council appointed Watchers."

"I can always dream can't I," she answers me back.

'Just what I needed' I thought. Faith was bad enough with the crazy shit she gets up to, now Buffy is back and wants to play. This may turn out to be an interesting night.


	16. Battling Beauties

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 16: Battling Beauties

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

We hung out at Faith's for a couple hours just goofing around and killing time until the sun started to go down. You know, Buffy being a vampire really didn't wig me out the way I would have thought. While we were sitting around just talking, it was easy for me to forget what she was, what she had went through. There were even times it seemed like she forgot too. And Faith? I don't think I've ever seen her so relaxed. She was smiling more in the last couple of hours than I think I saw her since she first came to Sunnydale. I'm talking real smiles here, the ones that reach all the way into her eyes, making them glow with happiness. And that, my friends, is really making me happy. Finally she has just what she needs to keep her sane.

We decided to take my car to the first cemetery we would start patrolling. Faith wanted to take her bike, but there was no room for all of us on it and I think her driving made Buff nervous. Yeah, funny huh? Buffy nervous about the way someone else is driving. The girls had loaded up with weapons before we left. There's a pretty impressive armory at the mansion. It was left over from when Angel owned it and Buffy had restocked it after she bought the place.

Faith was decked out in black leather pants, a blood red tee shirt that said 'Bite Me' on it, her combat boots and topped it off with her black leather jacket. Buff was just the opposite wearing red leather pants, a black tank top, black cowgirl boots and a red leather jacket. Let me tell you, seeing the two of them wrapped up in all that leather, stashing knives and stakes all over themselves, was every slayer lover's dream.

We got out of the car and headed into Lawncroft Cemetary. It's one of the older cemeteries in town and there's usually a lot of action here, but you never know it might turn out to be a slow night. Walking through the grave markers we talked quietly about what the Council's plans might be for Faith while looking for any wayward demons that might be around.

Buffy was saying, "It just doesn't make sense to me. Why would the Council all of a sudden be interested in taking Faith? I mean, after I died they re-instated Giles as her Watcher and when the new kid was called, they didn't even bother looking for Faith. Why do they want her back now?"

"Maybe they want to keep me as a spare." Faith said. "Ya know, put me on ice till needed."

"Not to be a party pooper or anything," I say, "but maybe they want to use Faith to call more slayers. Like, kill her and bring her back over and over till they have an army."

That comment stops them both in their tracks. They're looking at me like I'm crazy and Buffy shakes her head saying, "That's not possible. It doesn't work like that. Kendra was called when I died. The first time. Faith was called when Kendra died. No one was called when I died the second time, but Shannon was called when Faith died. They would need to kill Shannon and bring her back to call a new slayer. Then kill the new one to call the next and so on and so forth, world without end."

We started walking again as I say, "Just a thought. And can I just say that I hope the Council never figures out that's what they need to do to raise a slayer army."

"Yea, I hear that," Faith throws in. "It still doesn't explain what the hell they're up to though. It would help if we knew what's in the package their sending her. Any chance you could find out from Red, Xand? You said they were getting pretty close, right?"

"I'll give it a try tomorrow when I see her, but she's been firmly in the Shannon camp for awhile now," I tell them. "Just so you know, I really don't like trying to use my best friend to get information on her girlfriend. I'm only going to ask once and if she doesn't know that's it, I'm done. I won't pressure her. Alright?"

"Yea, that's cool, Xand," Faith says. "I don't wantcha doin anything you're not okay with. We'll figure something else out if we hafta."

"Looks like we'll have to talk about this later," Buff tells us. She's looking ahead at the side of a mausoleum where a group of Furtak demons are diggin up an older grave. Buffy looks over to Faith and smiles as she asks, "Party time?"

Faith is grinning back and says, "Looks like. Last one done cleans the weapons." Then she takes off. Buffy just shakes her head and is suddenly running right along side of her. Holy Crap, I can't believe she can move that fast.

They both reach the demons at the same time. Faith pulls a knife from her belt and attacks the two on her left. Buffy jumps the two on her right. I hop up on a tombstone to watch and wish I had some popcorn to munch on. This is going to be the best thing I've seen in a while. There's nothing that can compare to watching Faith and Buffy when they do their synchronized slaying routine.

The two of them are moving perfectly in tune with each other. It's like watching a choreographed dance or something. Simultaneous front kicks send the demons doing the digging flying onto their backs as the slayers spin into exactly timed roundhouse kicks to the demons standing at the sides of the grave. Then the devastation starts.

Faith whips her blade up the front of the demon she's facing off with then across its throat nearly taking its head off. One down. Turning, she leaps onto the demon she kicked to the ground and they start rolling around, each trying to gain the upper hand.

Meanwhile Buffy is trading blows with her demon as the one she kicked slowly gets back up and charges her from behind. She ducks a swing from the demon in front of her and sends a back kick into the stomach of the one behind her. Coming out of the back kick, she blocks two more swings from the demon in front of her, and reaches out for its neck. A second later and its crumbling to the ground dead, while Buffy is throwing its throat off to the side. She then turns around to face her last demon.

Faith had gotten free of the demon she was wrestling with and flips to her feet. The demon is circling, trying to find an opening to take her down. "You gonna dance, or ya wanna finish this fight?" She taunts it. The demon just growls and rushes in again. Faith spins her back to it and drives her elbow deep into its chest. The sound of breaking bone is loud in the still of the night. Reaching over her head, she grabs it by the shoulder and flips it onto the ground. As she moves in for the kill it lashes out with its foot, catching her in the face and sending her headfirst into a grave marker. Faith slumps to the ground and the demon gets up and takes off.

Buffy saw Faith hit the gravestone and not get up. She pulls her own knife out and drives it into the chest of the demon she's fighting so hard I see the point come out its back. The demon drops to the ground like a rock and Buff is running over to Faith. I'm moving at the same time and get there just after her. Faith is starting to come around and says, "Why is it always my head?"

Buffy looks at me and says, "Take care of her, I'll be right back." Then she's off in a flash after the demon that ran away. I have a feeling that demon is going to wish he stayed home tonight.

I help Faith sit up and tell her, "Good thing you have a hard head. Otherwise we would be wiping your brains up from the ground."

She's holding her hand to her head and says, "Not funny Xand. Where's B?"

"She went after the last demon," I tell her.

She starts pushing up to her feet and says, "Come on. I don't want her out there alone." Then we head out in the direction Buff was running.

After following Buffy's trail for a little while, we start to hear the sounds of a fight. Moving faster we come up to a clearing to see one dead demon and two fighting slayers. Looks like Shannon can't follow orders as well as I thought she would.

Shannon looks like she is royally pissed off, Buffy however, looks like she's having a good time. Shannon lunges in with a punch and Buff sidesteps it while back handing Shannon with an open hand. Yeah, that's right. Buffy just bitch slapped the newbie. I can hear Faith chuckle along side of me and feel her start to move into the clearing.

I grab her by the arm and pull her back a little saying, "I don't think it would endear you to Shannon if you came busting in to help Buff, Faith. It might be better if, for now, she didn't realize you knew who Buffy was. As far as Shannon knows, she just found the rogue vamp and is getting her ass handed to her. Besides, it looks like Buff is having too much fun for you to go and spoil it."

Faith gives a little smile and says," Yea, let her have her fun. She's gonna be pissed at having to clean the weapons though. I'm done fightin and she's still at it." She laughs and goes back to watching Buff slap around the newbie.

As we watch, Shannon recovers from the backhand and tries to attack Buffy again. She fakes a left hook and follows up with an uppercut. Buffy just moves her head to the side enough for it to miss and punches Shannon square in her chest while it's exposed. Shannon lands flat on her back gasping for air while clutching her chest and Buffy stands there checking out her nails. I had just seen Buffy rip the throat out of a demon so I know she's trying really hard to hold back her full strength and not to hurt Shannon. This is more of a lessoned learned kind of thing, a little payback from Buff because she's still pissed about Shannon pushing Faith through a window last night. It's really kind of sweet when you think about it.

"Look," Buff says to Shannon, "I don't know what your problem is little girl, but I haven't done anything to you, so you should really just leave me alone."

"You are the walking dead," Shannon gasps out as she gets back to her feet. "By all the laws of the Council of Watchers your existence must be ended. Unnatural thing!"

Buffy looks hurt for the first time tonight. Not physically harmed, but there is a sadness that comes into her eyes that tells me she just might believe what Shannon has said.

I could feel the change come over Faith before I looked over at her. That last comment went straight to her heart and she's got murder in her eyes. I tighten my hold on her arm feeling the tension that is there waiting to be unleashed and beg her, "Please Faith, not now. Buffy has got this covered and we need you to keep your head."

She looks at me and I flinch back from the anger that's there, but she doesn't do anything else. She just stands there fuming and goes back to staring silently at Shannon. If Shannon could see the look in Faith's eyes, she would be afraid. Very afraid.

Buffy lowers her head and says, "What I am, who I am, has nothing to do with you. I could have killed you ten times over already, but haven't. You need to leave me alone, Shannon.

"How do you know my name?" Shannon asks. And now there's the slightest trace of fear in her voice.

"Never mind how I know. Leave me alone and I'll leave you alone. I think it's a deal you can live with." Buffy says and turns to leave.

Shannon just can't leave well enough alone though and rushes Buffy from behind. Buff steps to the side at the last minute and elbows Shannon in the face without even turning around. Shannon drops like a ton of bricks and lays unconscious on the ground. Buffy keeps walking away towards us with her head down.

When she reaches us Faith wraps her in her arms and kisses the side of her head. The two of them walk off headed back to the car. I run over to Shannon and shake her a little to start waking her up. I don't want to be here with her after what she just said to Buff, but I can't just leave her here as demon bait either.

I tap lightly on the side of her face and she starts to come around. Before she can open her eyes, I move off back into the tree line and watch to make sure she gets to her feet alright. Once she's up and moving, I turn and go back to the car where Faith and Buffy are already in the back seat. Getting in the front, I start the car to take us back to Faith's place. There's been enough excitement for one night already.

Looking in the rearview mirror I can just make out Buffy's face nestled in Faith's shoulder and can barely hear her crying. One thing I can see clearly though is Faith's eyes. There is so much anger there that I can feel the hair on my neck start to stand on end, but under the anger there is a pain that I recognize immediately. It's the pain of having someone you love hurt and not being able to stop it.

I think Shannon has used up all the slack that Faith was willing to cut her. Now if she's not very, very careful, the Council will have a new slayer sooner than they expected.


	17. A Gift From The Council

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 17: A Gift From The Council

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

After Xander dropped us off at my house, I spent the rest of the night trying to comfort B. She was really takin all that bullshit the mini spouted seriously and it was tearing her up inside. Man, every time I think back on what that bitch said I just wanna wrap my hands around her throat and squeeze till her eyes pop out and her head comes off. Where does she get off callin B unnatural? Comin from someone with a demon aspect shoved up her ass due to the slayer line, she's got no room to talk about what's natural and what's not.

I finally got Buffy calmed down enough for her to fall asleep by lying with her, holdin her close and stroking her hair. All the time murmuring that it would be alright and I loved her. I don't know if she actually believed that it would be alright, but I think she believed I loved her. After all it was only the truth. Either way she relaxed and soon was sleepin in my arms. Every once in a while she would give the cutest grin and she would drool a little. Watching her sleep like that made me smile. I hoped all her dreams tonight stayed good ones. That's how we fell asleep.

This morning I woke up first and after givin B a kiss on the head, went in and took a shower. My muscles were still all tensed with anger over the dumb bitch. But the hot water soon started to soothe them some. Getting out and drying off I went back into the bedroom to find B sittin up and lookin out the window. She smiled over at me when I came in and I jumped onto the bed makin her bounce around.

"Hey there, sexy," I said and kissed her on her nose.

"Ugh, Faith you just slobbered on me," she teased makin a face.

"You're a fine one to talk about slobberin on people, Twinky," I tell her. "Ya just about drowned me last night with your droolin," I laugh at her.

"I do not drool!" She yelped with a shocked look on her face.

"It's okay, B," I tell her. "It was actually kinda cute. Kinda like a teethin puppy."

That really got her goin. She narrows her eyes at me and says, "Are you calling me a dog?"

Next thing I know I'm bein clobbered by a pillow again. What's with her and beatin me with pillows. I would prefer a good old fashion spankin. I'm pretty sure I could get her to prefer it too.

After a coupla minutes of playin around I get up to get dressed while B takes a shower. By the time she's done, I'm downstairs makin breakfast for me and heating up some blood for her. Buffy had cruised by Willie's yesterday before Xander showed up and picked up some packets to have on hand. Seems Willie has an in with the blood bank in town and always has a fresh supply available. I think he likes it better now that Buffy is a paying customer instead of her goin in and beatin on him all the time for information.

When she comes in the kitchen, everything is ready and we sit down at the table. Buffy is watchin me eat and just looks simply beautiful to me. "What are we going to do today?" She asks.

"I was thinkin maybe we could go over to your mom's house and snoop around for the package the Council was sendin over," I said. "Joyce will be at work and the newbie should be at the school with Giles. Whatcha think?"

"Sounds like a plan to me," she says.

When we get to Joyce's house, I park around the corner so we can check out the sitch. It would be kinda bad if we walked in on the mini-slayer while she was watching TV or something. Although I wouldn't mind goin a round or two with her just to, ya know, take the edge off or whatever. I think seein B out in the daylight would give her a major wiggin and I really don't want her runnin off to Giles with any daytime Buffy sightings just yet. That's news I wanna break to him myself.

It looks pretty quite. Joyce's car is gone and we can't see anyone movin around in the widows. I stretch out the slayer sense and don't feel anything so I ask B, "Can ya feel her?"

B closes her eyes for a moment then answers, "No. Either she's gone or dead."

I mumble quietly, "Well, hope springs eternal." I hear B snort out a laugh as we move towards the house.

We go around to the back door and of course it's locked. I'm thinkin about the best way to break in when B lifts a potted plant off the window sill and picks up the key that was hidden there.

"What," she asks me. "So I lost my house keys a lot. They shouldn't make them so small. You would think somebody could come up with a better way to open doors than to have to carry around little pieces of metal that are never where you last put them when you need them."

She's so cute and sincere, with her wide eyed innocent look, that I just have to chuckle at her. "Ya know you're a little bit of a nut, don't ya?" I ask her while smiling. "A cute nut, but still…."

She gives me a pout and says, "Well 'Miss I Never Lose Anything', where's the key you had when you lived here? Ha! See, I'm not the only one who has a problem with losing things."

"Yea, whatever, B," I tell her. "Can we please just go in and see what we can find before someone comes home? Or do ya wanna just hang out here talkin all day?"

Buffy opens the door and we go inside. Since this was her home and she never gave it away, she can come in whenever she pleases without an invite. Movin inside we head for the stairs. Anything worth findin would probably up in the newbie's bedroom. I hope we can find something that would let us know what she's planning.

As we pass by Buffy's old room I see her peek inside with such a sad look on her face it breaks my heart. You can see the longing and regret shining out of her eyes. What happened to her wasn't her fault, she should still be livin here, goin to school, getting ready to graduate and go to college. In some ways B's life may have been as hard as mine. Different, but still hard. I never had all the storybook family stuff to miss. Buffy had it all for most of her life, then it was all taken away from her. It really is harder when you know what you've lost.

I give her a quick hug and pull her down the hall. I wish we could stay for awhile and let her take her time, but there's no tellin when someone will come home and I wanna be far away when they do.

Movin down to the guest room, yea my old room, we go inside and I can't believe the difference. Everything has been organized to death. There's no clothes laying around, the bed is made with creases so sharp they could cut you. The trash can is empty and no soda cans are sitting around. I tell ya my dislike of this Shannon chick just went up another notch. Ya just can't trust someone this obsessively anal.

I look over at B and she looks back and gives me a shrug. Guess she doesn't get it either. We split up, I head over to the dresser and B goes to the bedside table. Opening the drawers I just hafta cringe. Even her clothes are stacked and placed in precise piles. Most people's drawers get a little jumbled just from them being used. And mine are usually all mixed together from me rooting through them for what I wanna wear. These though are almost inhuman. Each article of clothing has a distinct section with a half inch space separating it from anything else. It's a little bit militaristic. Socks strictly with socks, shirts strictly with shirts and separated into collar, button up, or crew neck. I wouldn't be surprised if there were little tags inside each designating the day of the week they were to be worn.

I glance over to Buffy and say, "Do you believe this shit?"

She answers back over her shoulder, "Just further proof of the evil that is the Watchers Council. Anyone that is this orderly has got to have been programmed. Faith, come over here. I think this is what we are looking for."

I close the drawers with a shudder and go over to look at what Buffy found. Inside the nightstand drawer there's a small brown box, about the size of a book but deeper. Openin it up, we find a letter, but nothing else. Readin it over B's shoulder it says:

Shannon,

Enclosed you will find the items we discussed. A small amount introduced into the blood stream will be more than sufficient for your needs. When you have accomplished your task, contact the local representative for disposal of the target. I am sure you will be successful in your assignment and will remember your debt to the Council of Watchers. I have every faith in that you will make me proud.

Sincerely,

Uncle Quentin

"Well that tells us absolutely nothing," I say to B.

"Actually it tells us quite a lot," she answers back. She's got a thoughtful look in her eyes and the cutest little crease in her forehead. "He says 'the items' which would mean there's more than one and he says to 'introduce it into the blood', which could mean inject it. Faith, I think he sent her some kind of tranquilizer she can use on you so they can take you back."

"And they say Blondes are dumb. Ha!" I tease her. "If the mini thinks I'm gonna let her get close enough to inject me with a tranq, she really is crazy. We'll have to get Xand to try and find out what it is. He may even be able to find it and dump it before she can use it."

Buffy grabs my arm and cocks her head to the side like she's listenin to something. "We gotta go, Faith. Someone's coming up to the front door."

Now that she said it, I can feel the slight tingle of the new slayer nearby. We look at each other for a moment then both head for the window in Buffy's old room at the same time. We can walk across the roof and climb down the tree outside. I would rather just go out the front door and over top of the newbie, but it might be better if she didn't know we had been here. Plus there was the whole 'me hanging with the vamp she's been huntin' thing. If she didn't think I was evil incarnate before, that little bit of info would convince her.

As we're passing Joyce's room, I glance inside and I stop in my tracks. Sticking out a little from under the pillow is a small book. A book that looks very familiar. I turn to start into the room but B pulls me along by my hand whispering, "We have to go now. She's opening the front door."

I follow Buff out cause she's right. We are outta time. I know what I saw though, that book was my journal. The one I left for Giles to read. I don't know how Joyce got a hold of it, but it looks like she's been readin it. Shit, Joyce knows that B was alive and turned into a vamp. She also knows I never told her. I'm not sure if that's gonna make things easier or harder, I just know that now I have to talk to Joyce right after I talk to Giles.

If Shannon's here, maybe I can catch up to Giles while he's alone. I wanna know how Joyce got the journal and we need to have a talk about where things lie with us. B's alive and I can't really hold me trying to kill her against him. I'm not sayin things are good between us, just that I don't hate him anymore. I also think before all this is over, I 'm gonna need him. I'll take Buff back to the house and then go to the library. I may even be able to catch Xand there and tell him what we found.


	18. Slayer Connection, Not Always A Good Thi

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 18: Slayer Connection, Not Always a Good Thing

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

I'm sitting here in the library, listening to the same argument that's been going on for the last hour. Shannon's here and more than a little pissed off. At least Willow isn't here to make it any worse. Will is off at some Wicca club or something. Shannon's been confronting Giles about her run in with Buffy and is acting like Giles is personally responsible for it.

"Mr. Giles," she starts in again, "We have to find this vampire and kill it. The sooner the better, for all of our sakes."

Giles tells her, "I am well aware of what needs to be done, Shannon. Now please, describe to me again what she looked like."

Shannon folds her arms across her chest and starts to explain, "She was short, a little less than my height. Long blond hair, green eyes and she seemed to be rather pleased with what she considered 'wit'. She also had a small green gem on her left hand that gave me a cut under my eye during the fight." Giles and I looked at her face, but of course there was no sign now of the cut. Slayer healing and all. "Can we please now go and kill the demon?" she asks sarcastically.

"Shannon," Giles has a distracted look in his eyes but responds, "As I have said, repeatedly, we are attempting to find out more about her. If we can find out who she is, we can determine where she will be. That is the only way we have of dealing with this situation. Outside of that, we must keep up the patrols and you may come across her again. Hopefully with a more positive outcome"

Shannon gives a huff of annoyance, but at least she kept her mouth shut. For now.

"On that note," Giles continued, "I want you and Faith to start patrolling together. I don't understand why you were left unconscious and alive, but I do not want to risk the chance of you being injured happening again."

"I…. Will…. Not…. Patrol…. With…. Her," Shannon says in a cold voice. "She would probably help the vampire against me."

"Don't be ridiculous," Giles scoffs. "Faith would no more abandon you to a vampire than she would allow one to escape."

I cough into my hand to cover the laugh I almost barked out. Giles doesn't know it, but Faith has already done both of those things.

He looks over to me and then back to Shannon as she says, "What you fail to realize is that your pet psychopath was there, Mr. Giles. She did exactly what you just denied she'd ever do. She let that vampire attack me and did not lift so much as a finger to come to my aid."

I sit up straighter in my chair now. How the hell did Shannon know Faith was there?

"I assure you Shannon, that is quite impossible," Giles tells her.

"And I assure you, Mr. Giles, that you are wrong," she responds. "I know she was there. I could feel that she was there. I can see now why you were dismissed from the Council to begin with. If you are so blinded by your feelings and reluctant to see that she is working with the vampires, then I have no choice but to fulfill my duty to the Watchers Council on my own." Then Shannon stormed out of the library before either of us could say a word.

Giles sinks down onto a seat with a look of shock on his face. He turns his eyes to me and I can see 'Ripper' starting to rise there.

In a nearly breathless voice he says, "short, blonde hair, attitude and a ring on her finger that unless I miss my guess, is the gem of Amara. Does any of this sound familiar to you Xander?" I can feel the heat starting to bake off of him as he tries to hold his temper.

I'm not stupid so I am definitely not going to try and talk Giles through this. I love Faith dearly, but she can finish this conversation with G-man. "I know what you're thinking Giles and all I can say is, you need to talk to Faith about it." I say quickly.

"Talk to Faith?" he laughs. "You mean the Faith who kept Buffy being a vampire secret and started a fire to cover up the facts? The Faith who spent weeks letting us all think Buffy had died, while she met with her almost every night? The Faith that finally tried to kill Buffy and obviously failed? That Faith? Yes well, I'm sure she'll be very forthcoming with the information now won't she."

"Look Giles," I tell him, and I'm starting to get pissed at the way he's talking about Faith, "You are the one who told her it was the Council's standard practice to kill turned slayers without question. You are also the one that told her that it was possible that Buffy could fight off the demon inside her. So don't even try to lay all the blame at Faith's feet. We all had a share in what happened back then. What's important is that we make a difference this time."

"Well 'This Time' there is a Council controlled slayer on site," he says back. "How do you propose we deal with her? It is unlikely she will listen to any of us, except maybe Willow. However, if Willow finds out that Buffy is back and starts to defend her, I have a feeling that Shannon will be even more likely to do something drastic."

"I'm not sure what we should do," I tell him quietly. "I do know that there's no way Faith will let anything happen to Buffy. Not now that she knows she's back." Oops. I probably shouldn't have said that last part.

"What do you mean that 'Faith knows she's back'? You know for a fact that Buffy is still alive?" He says while giving me a stern look. "You know that she's here and you didn't tell me? Didn't tell us? What if Joyce were to accidentally see her out one night? How do you think it would affect her?"

Yea, I really should think before opening my mouth. Somehow I never realize that until after I've blurted out the wrong thing at the wrong time. "Look Giles," I say to him, "I really can't explain it all to you right now. I'll give Faith a call and see if she can come over. Between the two of us we'll catch you up on what we know so far. Okay?" Like I said, I don't want to have this conversation without Faith being here. I still don't trust Giles not to go all 'Ripper' on me if he gets too angry.

He seems to have himself pretty well under control as he says, "Alright Xander. That will have to do, won't it? I really don't see that I have a choice right now, but I assure you. I _will_ find out what you two have been up to, whether Faith is present or not. Do you understand me?"

"Yeah. I read you loud and clear, Giles," I say. I reach into my pocket to get my cell phone and dial Faith's number. As I hear it start to ring, there is an echo ringing coming through the door. We both turn at the same time and see Faith walking into the room

"Hiya Xand, Giles," she says. "Why so serious? Someone steal the card catalog?" She reaches into her pocket to grab her phone just as I close mine.

"Don't bother Faith, that was me calling you," I tell her. "Listen, we need to talk." She continues into the room and comes over to the chair next to me.

She's looking from me to Giles and back as she says, "Okay, let's talk. Whaddya wana start with? The weather? The plummeting value of real estate?" Tips on getting a better wardrobe? You're probably a little too late for that last one, though." She finishes with a laugh.

Giles is rubbing the bridge of his nose and says coldly, "How about we discuss the fact that Buffy is still alive and once again you thought it would be a good idea to keep the information to yourself."

Faith goes pale and practically falls into the chair she was starting to sit down on.

"How did you find out?" she asks quietly. She's not looking at Giles and has started playing with the rings on her hands.

"I think more importantly is the question of when you were going to tell me," Giles shoots back.

"Tell you? After the shit you were talking last time around," Faith eyes snap up to Giles and she starts yelling. "Yea, I can see that happenin. I would say 'Hey Giles, I just found out that B is still alive, isn't that kickin?' then you could say, 'That's smashing Faith, what say we go drive a stake through her heart?'. Isn't that about what you said the Council does to turned slayers? Or did I somehow hear that wrong too?"

Giles is sitting there and you can see the shame written all over his face. I know that he wouldn't have done that last time, just as I'm sure it wouldn't happen this time. I decide I gotta cool the both of them out before this gets too far out of hand.

"Will the both of you just stop for a minute," I yell. They both turn to me a little stunned by me screaming at them. That was kind of the point of course. I go on in a lower voice, "Faith, Giles is not going to go and hunt Buffy down. I think deep down inside you know that. And you Giles, what makes you so sure Faith wasn't going to tell you about Buffy, huh? She's only been back a few days and I didn't even know for sure that Buff was still around until yesterday."

They're both looking somewhat embarrassed. Hey, I think I might be actually getting through to them. So long as I'm on a roll I'm going to keep talking, "We all made some mistakes in the past. We all had certain trust issues and thought what we were doing was for the best. Let's try not to repeat those same mistakes, right?"

Giles lets out a sigh and nods his head. I look over to Faith and she says, "Actually, I came over here lookin for ya Giles. I'm not gonna say that I was ready to tell ya about B, but I did wanna talk to you about my journal. Maybe if that went well I woulda, I dunno and I guess we'll never know now."

"What about your journal Faith?" Giles asks.

His voice is much softer and he's trying to do what I said so he gets an "A" for effort in my book. As for Faith, I'm surprised she's taking this all so well. Those months off by herself must have really improved her self-restraint. I'm actually pretty proud of her. In the old days either she would have taken off by now or someone would be bleeding.

Faith was playing with the rings on her fingers and fidgeting around in her chair. She does that a lot whenever she gets nervous. "Since ya know about B and all, I guess we better start at the beginning so ya know the whole story," she says. "Xand, why don't you start with why you went to find me and I'll kinda jump in as ya go."

"Okay," I say. I turn to face Giles completely and start, "After one of Shannon's first patrols when she came to Sunnydale, I found her here waiting for you. We started talking and she told me about a vampire that she came across the night before. The vampire she's been obsessing over ever since. The description she gave me sounded a lot like Buffy to me and I couldn't get the idea out of my mind. When I went to bed that night I remembered something from Faith's journal that I couldn't figure out at the time. It had to do with Buffy returning Faith's lighter to her the night Faith set the crypt on fire. I couldn't figure out how Buffy could have gotten that lighter out of a flaming crypt without being toasted. I mean, we all know that vampires go up like dry paper when you put a flame to them, right?"

"Yes, that's usually the way it works," Giles says. I can see the wheels start turning in that Watcherly brain of his and he says, "However, by all accounts a slayer turned vampire would have greatly enhanced strengths. I do not see why that should exclude a resistance to fire."

"Well that information would have been useful a little earlier," I kid him. "Anyway, the more I thought about it, the more I thought that maybe Buff survived the sun long enough to get in the water. After talking to a guy that was there that day, I was pretty sure she did. That was the day I took off to track Faith down. I didn't want to tell you or Will until I was sure and I figured the best way to be sure was to get Faith to come back and find her."

Faith jumps in then saying, "So the night that I went over to Joyce's, after I had such a nice introduction to the mini slayer, I went on patrol since the newbie wasn't up to it." Yeah, Faith can be a real smartass sometimes. She continued, "So I'm out until almost dawn with nothing really goin down, ya know? The last cemetery I hit I run into a group of vamps and one of them smacks me in the head with a tree branch. Now they got me held down and I figure it's gonna be over, when B shows up."

Giles has a small smile on his lips as he asks, "Buffy was there?"

"Shit yea, G," Faith says. "She waltzes in and trashes those fuckers. She really saved my ass. Then we went back to my house and talked for awhile." Is it my imagination or did Faith just blush at that last part?

"The rest is pretty simple," Faith says. "B was the one keepin me afloat till you yanked me outta the ocean. Then she went back for the gem of Amara. Seems she didn't want to hang out with the fish all day. Turns out Xand here overheard your new girl on the phone with the Council talkin about getting some package, so me and B went to her mom's house today to check it out. Looks like they sent her something to try and put me to sleep so the Council can have their evil way with me."

I'm paying close attention to this part because I didn't know her and Buffy were going on a treasure hunt today. You would think they could have at least asked if I wanted to tag along. "Did you find it?" I ask her.

"Nah, just a letter and the box they sent it in," she says. "Doesn't matter anyway. Now I know what she's up to, I'll be watchin out for her. By the way Xand, what was the name of the stuff they were gonna send?"

"Interfector Mortis," I tell her. "I tried looking it up on the net but the only thing I found didn't make any sense. It talked about using it to kill a corpse. I guess it's used against zombies or something. Anyway it wouldn't work on you Faith, cause, you know, you're alive."

I look over at Giles and his face has gone completely white. He gasps out, "Good Lord, Interfector Mortis translates to Killer of the Dead. It is the only poison known to man that will kill a vampire. Any vampire. A very small amount is all that is needed, it just has to make contact with the blood."

I say to Giles, "Shannon was pretty pissed when she left here a while ago. Where do you think she's headed?"

"I got this one Xand," Faith smirks. "The newbie showed up at B's house just as we were leavin."

"Good," I say. "The way she was talking when she left I thought she might try to get you at your place."

"Or," Giles says, "she stopped at Joyce's first to get her supplies, then would head to Faith's house to try and capture her."

"Shit," Faith shouts and jumps up from the table.

"Faith, what's wrong?" Giles says in alarm, "When Shannon gets there she won't find you since you are here."

Faith is still headed for the door and I'm getting a real bad feeling. She yells back, "I'm not there Giles, but Buffy is. Xand, try and track down Willow, maybe she can help stop Shannon from doin something I'm gonna hafta kill her for." Then Faith is out the door and gone.

Whenever Faith starts calling people by their right name, you can bet the shit is about to hit the fan.


	19. Never Said Goodbye

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 19: Never Said Goodbye

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

"She's gonna be okay, she's gonna be okay, she's gonna be okay,….." I'm repeatin it over and over in my head as I run to my bike. I gotta get to the house though, if that goddamn newbie manages to poison B I don't know what I'll do. I know that Buff could mop the floors up with the mini-slayer pretty much any day of the week, but there's always the chance that she might be caught off guard. Especially if it's a surprise attack in our home. I know she wouldn't be expectin Shannon to show up there. As far as B knows, the newbie doesn't even know where I live. If B started feeling slayer tingles, she might just assume it's me comin home and do something crazy like walk out naked to greet me. I pull my cell phone from my pocket as I run through the school's front doors. Dialin home, it starts ringing, two, three, four……then it's picked up. "B,' I yell into it, "Ya gotta get outta the house……."

"Ya got Faith……. Leave a message and I'll catch up to ya later…….you know the drill……BEEP." Interrupts' me.

Shit I forgot about the freakin answering machine. "B….Buffy……pick up the phone! B, are ya there? If ya get this….ya gotta watch out for the new slayer. I think she's on her way over there. She's got some kinda poison specially made for vamps…..Buffy if you're there just get out for awhile. I'm on my way home now. Please…be careful…." I'm at the bike and jam the phone in my pocket as I throw a leg over and kick start it in one motion. I hit the gears and gun the engine leaving twenty feet of rubber on the road as I roar away from the school.

I'm zipppin through the streets of Sunnydale, dodging cars, runnin lights and stop signs. Luckily the cops are nowhere to be seen, as usual for around here. Not that I would stop for them right now, but it could get a little tense if they were to follow me home. I'm not feelin very charitable right now. I pull up the driveway and jump off my bike letting it keep rolling into the bushes. If everythin is okay I'll check it later, right now I just wanna see that B's alright.

Runnin up to the door my stomach starts to fill with tension. The door is hangin open and the handle is warped out of shape, like something crushed it in its hand. If that little bitch has done anything to hurt Buffy I'm gonna kill her. I don't care how bad a life she had while with the Council. I'm gonna rain down on her so bad, she'll wish she never heard of Sunnydale, vampires or slayers. Then I'm gonna take a trip to merry old England and clean house over there.

Pushin the door open slowly I listen for a minute. I don't hear any sounds of a fight so I let out the slayer sense, trying to feel B. She's here that much I know. I feel a slight tingle from the mini, but then it's gone, so either she's just left or B killed her. I'm hopin for the last one, but I never get what I want in life. Movin further into the house I head for the livin room. I feel the tension growin inside me with each step I take and it's so quiet in here I wanna scream.

I can't take it anymore so I call out, "Hey B! Where ya at?" No answer, that can't be good. "B…..Buffy? Did ya get my message?" I look over to the table the phone sits on and see that the phone is ripped out of the wall and layin on the floor. Movin faster, I go deeper into the room heading for the doors to the courtyard that are standing partway open. As I round the couch I find B….. and almost trip over her.

She's laying on the floor with blood pourin out of her side. Her eyes are kinda glazed over and there's small cuts all over her arms and face. My knees crumble out from under me and I almost fall on top of her in my rush to touch her. "B… Buffy, can you hear me, baby?" I say in a choked voice. She's not answering me. It's getting hard to see her through the tears runnin outta my eyes. I wipe them away with my arm and start to look her over to see how bad the damage is.

Her whole body is shivering and her arms and legs keep givin small jerks every few minutes. That's the only way I can tell she's still alive. While I'm lookin her over, I see that the gem of Amara in gone from her finger. That must be why she's bleedin so bad. That bitch musta gotten it offa B during the fight, probably the only thing that kept her from stakin Buffy on the spot was me comin back when I did. I don't wanna think about what I woulda found if I had been just a few seconds later. I do know that I woulda torn this whole shitty little town apart findin that bitch to get revenge. I still might.

I grab my phone and call Xand. He answers on the first ring and I start talkin right over him, "Xand, it's me. She got to Buffy. It's pretty bad, Xand. Did ya get Willow?"

"Oh Christ, Faith," he says and I can hear the worry in his voice. "Yea, she's just finishing up with the guy she tutors."

"Get her and bring her here. Now." I tell him. "And Xand? Find Joyce and bring her too. She should be almost home by now."

"Joyce? Are you sure that's a good idea? Giles might not want to break the news about Buffy to her like that," he answers.

"I don't give a fuck what Giles wants," I scream at him. "You get Red _and_ Joyce and bring them both over here right now. It might be the only chance Joyce gets to see her. Ya hearin me? Move your ass."

I hang up and throw the phone onto the table. Leanin over I gather Buffy in my arms as gently as I can and lift her up. I carry her through to the den and lay her on the couch in there. I run upstairs and grab a blanket and pillow for her to try and make her more comfortable. On my way back I grab the first aid kit I always keep stocked. When I get back to Buffy she's kinda moaning and mumbling. I can't make out what she's sayin, but can feel the pain in her words and I feel my heart startin to break all over again. Every time I think things are gonna work out for me, every time I let my defenses down, something comes along to rip me up. Ya know what? This time I'm gonna spread the pain around. Let them feel what it's like. Let them have their heart's ripped outta their chests.

I slowly lift up her shirt to see the wound that's there. It's a stab wound about three inches long and sitting low on her left side. Bein a vamp, it shouldn't of even slowed her down much and if she was still wearin the ring, it woulda healed right up. As I clean it off there's a trace of some purple tinged stuff at the edges of the cut. It must be that poison the Council sent over. I'm bettin the bitch coated a knife in it for when she ran into Buffy again. B woulda just laughed at the knife and thought nothing of it if she was cut a little. She woulda been more pissed at havin her shirt ruined than bein nicked by a wanna-be's blade.

Lookin at all the small cuts I get a real bad visual of that bitch sittin on top of Buffy while she lays there helpless from the poison. I can see her slowly usin her knife to make small cuts all over B, just letting her bleed out. I feel the rage building higher inside me as I see her playin with the knife, drawin out the pain, just waitin for the final moment when she will plunge a stake into Buffy ending her life forever. My hands start shakin as I realize this wasn't just about killin a vamp cause she thought it was the right thing to do. This was about torturing someone I cared about. I mighta been able to understand if she was just tryin to do her duty as a slayer, but this was more along the lines of killin B while causin me as much pain as she could. I knew in those minutes that Shannon's hours on this earth were numbered. From the moment she went from slayer to calculating murderer, she gave up her rights as a human. I don't kill humans, but this time I'm gonna make an exception. And I'm gonna enjoy it.

I get the wounds cleaned up as best I could and put a dressin on the stab wound it to keep it covered. The gauze that has the poison on it I set to the side so Red can take a look at it. Maybe she can come up with an antidote or something. She's gotta be able to find a cure, she's just gotta. With the bandage on I don't have anything else to do to keep my mind busy and the bad thoughts are startin to creep in. I start seein every single scenario where I can do nothing and B dies on me. I'm getting so edgy that I start pacin, stopping every once in a while to check B, hopin that there's a change for the better. Hopin that somehow she's gonna throw off the poison and be alright. Hopin that she wakes up long enough for me to tell her how much I love and need her.

I can feel the sun's startin to set and I can finally hear Xander's car pull to a stop out front. It sounds like Giles' car is right behind him. As they come in through the front door I go to meet them and move straight over to Joyce. She has a look of shock on her face, but not surprise. Red's standin there lookin very uncomfortable, but at least she's got her laptop carry case in her hand. It looks like Xand or Giles gave her the low down about her new best bud on the way over. I'm hopin she gets it, cause I'm not in the mood to start arguing with her. I just want her to get with the researchin and find me a cure.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," I say to Joyce. "We thought there would be time, ya know, after we got settled and……………"

She wraps her arms around me and whispers, "I've read your journal, Faith, and I know what happened to her. What happened to you both. I know how much you love her and want to protect her. Thank you for letting me see her again. I never got to say goodbye last time." Then she kisses the side of my head and I just about start bawlin right there. "Let's go see our girl," she says softly.

We break apart and I lead her by the hand in to see the daughter she lost, then found, and now might lose again.


	20. Looking For A Miracle

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 20: Looking For A Miracle

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

It's been a couple hours since we got here and I'm sitting by the bed feeling totally useless. Not a new feeling for me. We've all been taking turns sitting with Buff then going back out to help with the research. All except Joyce, that is. She refuses to leave Buffy's side for even a moment. She's sitting on the other side of the bed, holding Buff's hand and talking to her in a low voice. She's trying to bring Buffy some comfort, let her know that she's not here alone. I think she's hoping Buff will come out of the delirium long enough to recognize her and talk to her a little. I hope it happens for both Joyce and Faith's sake. Faith has been pacing nonstop almost since we got here. She goes from the bedside, out to where Willow has set up her computer and then back. Each time she completes the circle, her eyes look a little darker and she seems more agitated. If we don't catch a break soon I think she's just going to lose it completely.

Here she comes again and I can see the storm in her eyes has almost reached the breaking point. I swear I can feel the electricity coming off her in spikes. It's like being outside when a thunderstorm is just about ready to really rip loose. Faith is getting so charged up, it's starting to make the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. In fact, it's gotten so bad that Willow told her if she didn't stop interrupting the research she was going to put a binding spell on Faith to make her sit in one spot. Yea, that went over really well. Faith comes over to the bed and I move to let her sit down. It also gives me a chance to go out and see how the others are making out.

Walking over to Will I ask, "Got anything yet?"

Without looking up she says, "You're getting as bad as Faith, Xand. That binding spell thingy goes for you too, you know."

"I know you're doing your best Will," I tell her, "but it's pretty hard for the rest of us. Not being with the uber-hacker skills." I give her a smile just in case she wasn't kidding about that spell thing.

"Yeah, sure, like flattery will work," she tells me. "Really Xander, I'm doing everything I know…………Oh!" She trailed off and I look over her shoulder.

She's on some obscure occult website and in a small paragraph there's a reference to a vampire poison. "Oh what? Come on Will don't keep me waiting here." I say as I lean down to get a better look at the screen.

"There's……there's a reference here to the 'Interfector Mortis'. And….and the only known cure," She says in a low voice. Why she's being so hesitant I can't imagine. If there's a cure she should be shouting it from the rooftops at full volume.

"That's great," I yell. "What is it? Wait a minute, let me get Faith," and I turn to go, but she puts a hand on my arm stopping me. When I look down at her she's not looking as happy as I would have liked. She's got a crease in her forehead and her lips are pressed tightly together leaving only a thin white line. "Willow, what is it? What's wrong," I have to ask. That look on her face is not reassuring me at all.

"Xander the only known cure, the only mention of a cure that I've been able to find, is here. It says that the infected vampire must 'drain the blood of a slayer' to counteract the poison," she tells me.

Now I know why she is so hesitant. Either Faith or Shannon is going to have to bleed to save Buffy.

There's a short, harsh, bark of laughter from behind us and turning around I see Faith standing there with the most vicious grin on her face that I have ever seen.

"Oh that's,……. whaddya call it? Ironic. Yea, that's ironic. That little bitch thought she was gonna kill B and now she's gonna save her," Faith says. Then turning on her heel she heads for the front door.

Will and I are after her in a flash. Catching up I grab her arm to slow her down and try to talk to her. "Faith, where are you going? You don't even know where to find Shannon." What are you going to do?"

"Let go of me Xand," she says in growl. "I'm not kidding around. You either let go of me right now, or I won't be responsible for what happens. I'm gonna go save B!"

I let go of her in a hurry, but keep trying to talk some sense into her. "You can't just go out wandering around hoping to run into her, Faith. You don't even know the first place to look. That's not even considering that she'll be waiting for you. Probably loaded to the teeth with whatever tranq the Council sent her."

"I don't know where to look, but she does," Faith spits out while nodding her head toward Willow. "That right, Red? Whaddya say? Gonna help save Buffy's life or you gonna keep pretendin that the new girl is all peaches and cream?"

Giles comes into the room at that point and he can see the tension building. "What is going on in here? What have you found out?" he asks. Faith and Willow are still staring at each other. Willow looks like a scared mouse watching a hungry cat. And Faith? Faith is gone, only the Slayer is in her eyes.

"Seems Red found a cure G," Faith answers him. Her voice is low and cold. Just hearing her talk in that voice reminds me how dangerous, how deadly the slayers can really be. "Now I'm just waitin for her to tell me where I can go get it." Faith's eyes haven't left Willow's face since she started talking and I can see the faintest tremble starting in Will's hands.

"Willow, that's excellent news," Giles says with a smile. Little does he know he's making things worse, not better. "What is the cure? Where is it located? Time is of the essence I fear. We should waste no time in retrieving it."

"Yea Red," Faith continues in that same dead voice. "Let's not waste any more time. Where is she?"

"She?" Giles asks. Now he's really confused. "What do you mean she? Does Shannon have the cure?"

"No Giles," I tell him with a sigh. "Shannon doesn't have the cure, Shannon _is_ the cure. It takes a slayers blood to counteract the poison."

"Oh Dear," Giles says. "That will present a bit of a problem." Giles is looking from Faith to Willow and back. He feels the tension between them, but doesn't seem to know how to stop it either.

"Nope, not even a little bit, G," Faith goes on. Now she's starting to walk slowly over to Willow. "Not a problem at all. Red is gonna tell me where the murderin bitch is, then I'm gonna go and get a big bottle full of antidote." Faith let's out another harsh bark of laughter and says, "Hell, I might even just bring her back here and let B take the cure right from the source." Looking in Faith's eyes I can see she has just about gone off the deep end. Her normally rich chocolate brown eyes have bled to a brown so dark they're almost black. Her eyes are showing one emotion, cold, calculating rage. There is a dark intense need in them. They're showing a need to do whatever she must to save Buffy, even if it means killing. Especially if it means killing.

I step in front of Faith and for a moment it seems like the shadows in her eyes clear a little. For a moment I think that I can bring her back from the edge. Then it's gone. "Faith," I say and I'm keeping my voice low, soft and calm. Trying not to let it show how much she's scaring the shit out of me right now. "You need to think about what you're doing. You really don't want to hurt Willow. Not after she found a way to help Buff. We just need to figure out a way to help Buffy and at the same time, not kill Shannon."

Faith's eyes jump from watching Willow to me and she asks, "Do you really think that's possible Xand? After all we been through, do you really think we're gonna come up with a _second_ last minute answer? I don't. And I'm not willing to bet Buffy's life on takin the chance, are you?"

What could I say? No, I was not going to bet Buff's life on the off chance we could come up with another answer. I also wasn't going to let Faith rip into Willow to find out where Shannon might be. "Okay, you're right, Faith," I tell her. "But at least promise me you'll bring Shannon back here, unharmed and alive. That'll give us some more time to try and come up with another way. Please, Faith. Say you'll do it our way."

"I'll agree to bring her back alive, Xander," she tells me. "Being unhurt is gonna be entirely up to her. I will not fuck around with her. If she doesn't wanna come willingly, which she'd be stupid to do, I'm gonna do what I hafta to get her here." Then she goes on in a softer voice, "I'm not gonna make you a promise I can't keep."

A little bit of sanity has seeped back into Faith's eyes and as I watch, her expression softens just a bit as she asks, "Red? Please tell me where I can find her. I promise you I'll do my best not to hurt her, but I will be bringing her back here. Please, Red. For Buffy. Where would she be?"

Willow's voice is a combination of scared and relieved. She answers Faith in a small little girl voice, "Well, she always gets twitchy if she doesn't get to slay every night. So I think she would be out looking for some demons to kill. She likes to go through the older cemeteries. She says they have more character and remind her of back in England." Then she tells Faith in a pleading voice, "Please don't hurt her anymore than you have to Faith. She's been filled with that Council of Watchers crap all her life and really doesn't know any better."

"She 'doesn't know any better'?" Faith incredulously gasps out. Now I can see her starting to get revved up again. "Red she stepped way over the line here. This wasn't just about killing what she thought was a demon." Faith was moving closer to Will as she spoke and I don't think she even knew it. "Did you even see the cuts on Buffy? That was torture, not an attempt to quickly end it. She did it so I would find her, find her and know what that bitch did to her, how she made B suffer." Faith's voice cracks as she finishes speaking. Then she stops and takes a step back. She breathes in real deep, then lets it out slowly. "Look Willow," she continues in a much calmer tone, "all I can promise is to do my best."

I could tell that Faith was done with the talking. She went past Willow and Giles, making her way into the bedroom to say goodbye to Buffy. I didn't think Faith was wrong, but I also didn't think she was entirely right either. Everyone deserves a second chance and maybe we'll find a way to give Shannon one. I hope so anyway.

I see Faith come back out from the room where Buffy is, she has tears falling from her eyes and it seems like she doesn't realize it. Joyce comes to the doorway and calls after her, "Faith honey, where are you going?"

Faith grabs her jacket off the couch on her way out of the room, heading to the front door. She turns before she leaves and says to Joyce, "Hunting." Then she's gone.


	21. Hunting

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 21: Hunting

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

I pull my bike outta the bushes and start it back up. I'm just sittin here for a minute tryin to get my shit together. I almost really lost it in there. I can't believe that I was gonna start hurtin Red, just to get information outta her. It was information that I really already had. I know what it's like when you're first called. I know how it can make ya edgy if you're not out there slayin every night. If I had taken a moment to think about it, I probably would have even figured out that she would prefer the older graveyards. Just goes to show ya how far off my game B gettin poisoned has me. My only excuse is that I _cannot_ lose her again.

Now that my heads a little clearer I start to think about which cemetery to start lookin in. Let's see, old graves, lots of character, old world charm. There's three that I can think of right off the bat. Lawncroft, Emerson, and Restfield. Restfield is where all this shit started months ago, but Emerson and Lawncroft are closer so I'll start with them. I throttle up my bike and head out into the night.

Emerson is about fifteen minutes away and is pretty small so it shouldn't take me long to check it out. If my lucks in, I'll have the mini-slayer bagged, tagged and back at the house inside the hour. Not sure what I'm gonna do when I get her there, though. I doubt she's gonna be willin to let B drink her down and that means I'm gonna hafta force the issue. I _am_ sure Red isn't gonna like that one bit. Not to mention that I still don't think feeding humans to vampires is right. But, I _will_ not lose B again. No matter what it costs me.

Alright, screw that shit. I'm gonna take it one step at a time. First find the newbie. Then take her back. Everything else I'll hafta work out as it comes up. If I spend too much time thinkin about it now, it'll just fuck with my head.

I pull over and park my bike at the curb. Goin into the cemetery I move quickly to the older part. That's the section near the back where the huge marble mausoleums are located. I'm slippin through the shadows, every sense on the alert for either demons or a particular vampire slayer. I start feelin the presence of vamps about half way through the cemetery. It feels like a small group, only one or two maybe. Comin around a big old oak tree, I see them movin in my direction. There're only two of them. One is tall with a mustache right outta the seventies, the other is a little shorter and has one of those little patches of hair under his lip, like he couldn't grow a real beard when he was alive. They're busy talkin to each other and haven't seen me yet. Their pain is gonna be my gain. I don't have time to fool around, ya know, places to be, slayers to see and all that. But I need to burn off some of the anger I was gonna take out on Red. I take off runnin straight at them pullin a coupla stakes outta my jacket as I go.

The dumbass vamp's finally look up and realize I'm comin for them. Mustache guy starts to smile until he sees my face, then he just looks scared. Patch dude is lookin at his bud and only turns towards me as I drive a stake in his chest while I move past him. He dusts away and I stop to face the one still standin. He holds his hands up, palms out and is backin up slowly.

"Hey, wait a minute, you're that other slayer, the one that died. Where's the new one?" he says. He is not a brilliant conversationalist.

"Kinda my question too," I mutter.

"I…I don't want no trouble with you," he goes on. He's jerkin his head back and forth, probably checkin to see if I'm here by myself. It'd be kinda funny if I didn't have other things on my mind. Like I said, I don't have time for this shit. He's about ten feet away from me and I start to move towards him again. That's when he decides to run. He turns around while keeping his eyes on me and the idiot runs right into a tree. A dead branch punches through his chest and he turns to dust without me getting anywhere near him. Since I'm in a rush it saves me time but, I'm glad it isn't always this easy.

As I turn to leave, I feel something hit my jacket just under the armpit. Lookin down I see the needle end of a dart stickin through and barely missed piercing my skin. I can feel her now that the vamps are dust. She musta been here waitin for me to finish them off so I'd be distracted. I can't believe that bitch shot me! I let my body go boneless and fall to the ground, bein sure the needle stickin in my jacket doesn't jab me. I'll lay here and wait for her to come to me. Then the British Brat is gonna get the surprise of her life.

I'm layin here with my eyes closed listenin as her footsteps get closer. She's talkin to someone so I figure she's on her phone. She's so sure I'm out cold that she's not really payin as much attention as she should be. That's the kinda mistake that'll get ya killed in this business.

Her words are getting clearer the closer she gets to where I'm on the ground and I hear her say, "Yes, I have taken care of them both now. The vampire will be dead shortly from the poison I coated my knife with. It turned out to be the Slayer that was originally here, Buffy Summers. As for the Rogue, she is lying unconscious at my feet."

She listens for a minute then continues, "We are at Emerson Cemetery. You can send the team over to get her."

Another moment then, "No, I'm not going to wait. I need to get back to that incompetent Watcher you assigned me."

I really wish she would wrap this up. I'm startin to get bored laying here. Then she finishes, "Yes, very good. It will be a pleasure once his replacement has arrived. Yes, I understand. Goodbye."

I listen as she closes her phone and crack an eye open to see what she's up to now. She's pulling a length of chain from her backpack. I guess she was planning on chainin me up and leavin me for her buddies to pick up. Let me tell ya how much that is not gonna happen. As she leans over me to wrap my hands up, I open my eyes wide and smile at her, "Surpise, Sunshine!" I say. "Today's just not your lucky day," then I twist around and deliver a foot sweep that knocks her on her ass.

I pull the tranq dart outta my jacket as I complete the spin. Then roll backwards and flip up to my feet so I'm lookin down at her. Her mouth is hangin open in shock as she scrambles to get back up offa ground. "There's no way I missed," she growls out. "You should be unconscious for at least two hours. What kind of demon are you?" she demands.

"Un,uh,uh," I say while waggin my finger at her. "Not a demon. You're just not as good as ya think you are," I finish with a smirk.

"This time I'll make sure you stay down," she says. She flexes her right hand out, which is still holdin the chain and it flashes out like a steel whip.

The end of it catches me on the left hand, smashin the dart I was holdin and makin me drop it. Guess she didn't want me stabbin her with it and sendin her to La La Land again. She pulls her arm back to lash me again and I step into her swing letting the chain wrap around my forearm. Givin a tug and twistin my hips, I pull her off balance and she stumbles towards me. Pivotin back into her I use my elbow to hit her in the sternum and I hear the air whoosh outta her lungs as she falls backward onto the ground. I unwrap the chain from my arm and throw it over my shoulder into a tree. I move over to her, then lean down to drag her back onto her feet and she kicks out catchin me in the chest. I feel myself fly backwards and get stopped by a tombstone. My vision goes grey for a moment from hittin my head on the marble and before I know it, the mini-slayer is back on her feet and circling around me.

"Come on," she taunts me, "we can play here all night. At least, being here, you will not have to sit and watch your demon girlfriend die screaming that way."

Buffy! She's right, I don't have time to play with this little bitch. That thought clears my head for me and I'm back on my feet in seconds.

In a lilting tone she says, "Don't you want to know how I was able to catch her off guard, Faith?"

Tell ya the truth, I do wanna know, but I'm not gonna tell her that. "Not really," I tell her. "I'm more interested in how I'm gonna make you save her." We're both sorta circling each other now, lookin for any opening to end this.

"Ha! She cannot be saved, so I'll tell you anyway. It was easy," she says. "After I left the library and your mediocre ex-Watcher, I went back to Mrs. Summer's house and picked up a few items my Uncle sent me. Then I went to your house. I thought I would find you there and be able to finally return you to the Council where you could be brought to justice. Instead, imagine my surprise to find the vampire I have been hunting, freshly washed, out of the shower and listening to the pathetic message you left for her."

Oh Christ! B got my message but it was too late. I feel the rage risin up in me again and stop thinkin of anything except makin this bitch pay. I rush her grabbin her by the shoulders and takin her to the ground with me on top of her. I start punchin her face and slammin her head back into the ground, the rage at what she's sayin takin me over. I'm gonna kill this bitch. She shoots out her hand and grabs a rock from the ground, then brings it up and across my jaw, knocking me offa her.

She rolls to her left and gets up as I'm jumpin back to my feet so we're facin off again. I step into her, blinded by my feelin's of revenge and reach out blindly to grab her again. She uses her arms to sweep my hands away and then delivers a round house kick to my ribs. I stumble to the side and she grabs me around the neck. She's tryin to use the sleeper hold I used on her the other night, but she's not bein as careful about not choking me. Good thing I got my hand up under her arm. That'll buy me some time. With her lips next to my ear she keeps talkin to me.

"She was reaching to pick up the phone, to call you back I would think, when I came through the foyer," she tells me. This chick seems to be getting off on causin me as much emotional pain as possible. She keeps tightening her hold on my neck and talking at the same time.

"Turning back towards where I came in she called, 'Faith? Is that you?'. She wasn't even looking at me, she was too busy putting her jewelry back on and I threw my knife at her. I had already coated it with the poison for just such an opportunity. The look on her face was priceless! She turned thinking she would find you returning to her and instead she gets a knife in her side. She stumbled backwards, dropping the ring from her hand while ripping the phone out of the wall and fell to the floor. You see, the Interfector Mortis poison initially paralyzes the vampire, and then their motor function returns along with indescribable pain as their muscle tissue starts slowly breaking down. I would think that by now your precious vampire is tearing her own skin off in blinding pain."

No! I scream out in my head. No, I can't let that happen to B. I gotta get out of this, I think as the world slowly starts to go grey.

"I went over to her lying there and noticed the gem by her hand. Of course I recognized the gem of Amara from descriptions in my Uncles library. If I hadn't seen it and just left, she might have been able to recover. We couldn't have that could we? So I took it, after all, she will not need it anymore. Then just to make certain, I started to give her slow slices all over to be sure the poison seeped into every part of her being. That's when I felt you show up. Rather nice of me to let you say goodbye alone, was it not?"

My fadin mind hears that last part and I get a surge of adrenaline. There's no way I'm gonna fail B again. I let my body sag towards the ground and then surge upwards while throwin my head back. I can feel and hear the satisfying crack as the back of my skulls first hits, then crushes her nose. Her arms go immediately limp around my neck and I reach up to grab her arms as they try to slide away. Draggin in ragged breaths and getting a solid grip on her, I bend over with a snap of my hips throwin her over my shoulder and into the ground. Instead of letting go as she flips over me, I hold on and slam her into the ground with as much strength as I have left.

The force of the shoulder throw makes her sink into the soft ground almost an inch. I don't hear any bones break, damn it, but it does knock her out like someone threw a switch. All I wanna do is straddle her waist and wail away on her till every bone in her body is crushed into paste. I climb on top of her and reach forward wrappin both hands around her throat. I start to squeeze as I feel all the pain and rage at what she did to B flow through me. I wanna see her eyes pop right outta her head. With my fingers sinkin into the soft flesh of her neck, the thought of B flashes through my mind and I stop myself. I can't kill this stupid bitch. Not now. I hafta get her back and get Buffy cured first. Then, if she survives, I can beat the shit outta her some more for all the pain she's put us through.

I climb offa her and goin over to the trees, I grab the chain she was gonna use on me, then go back over to where I left her on the ground. I kick her in the side to flip her over on her stomach and I use the chain to wrap her arms up tight behind her back. I got half a mind to hang out and wait for the Council assholes to show up, then I could teach them a lesson in manners, puttin all this shit to bed once and for all. If the clock wasn't tickin and runnin out for B, I would too. It would be a pleasure to show the freakin limey bastards that there's no way in hell they can sit over in the 'Mother Country' and call the shots here on the Hellmouth. They shoulda realized that after the first time they went round with Buffy.

I look down at the newbie thinkin briefly about what Xand had said, her being raised by Travers and all. I feel a small pang of sympathy and immediately shake it off. Fuck No, Uh-Uh, no way. She got herself into this and I will _not_ sacrifice B for her or anyone else for that matter. Grabbin her by the shoulders, I haul her ass offa the ground and hoist her up on my shoulder. I carry her back toward my bike and the ride home.


	22. Drawing The Line

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 22: Drawing The Line

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

I pull up to the front of the house with the newbie slayer layin face down over my lap. I'm not saying I tried to hit _every_ pothole coming back, but the ones I did hit made my knee bounce up and smack her in the face. And No, I don't feel one fuckin bit sorry about it. I'm feelin more sorry about the blood stains runnin down my knee from where I broke her nose earlier. Getting blood outta leather is damn near impossible if ya don't do it right away. If anyone thinks that's harsh, it's too freakin bad. Red oughta be glad I'm not just bringin back a bottle of her blood and that she's still in one piece. The only reason this bitch is still breathin is cause B needs her……and I sorta promised Xand.

I get offa the bike and haul her ass back up over my shoulder. She's tryin to lay still, but I know that she woke up half way back here. I could hear the slight grunt every time my knee kissed her face. I can feel the smirk cross my lips, if she thinks she's gonna take me by surprise and get away, she's in for her second surprise of the night. Walkin up to the door I throw it open and stride in, headin straight for the room B's in. Red and Giles come runnin to see what's goin on.

Giles is the first to talk, "Faith, you found her. Is she……….alright?"

I stop and give him a look, "Depends on what ya mean by 'alright'. She's alive, yea."

Red has a hand to her mouth and she's gone a little pale from lookin at the blood splashed down my front. She asks in a strangled voice, "What…what happened?"

"I gotta get to B," I say. "Can we do story time later?" Then I start to move forward again and Giles steps in front of me. I give him a look that shoulda had him scrambling outta the way, but he just squares up his shoulders and starts talkin again.

"Faith, please, can you just wait a moment?" He asks. He's kinda pleadin and hurries on when I stop again. "Can you really feed an unconscious human to a vam…..vampire? Does not that go against everything the slayer line stands for?"

I stare at him like he has lost his frickin mind and say, "First off G, that's not just any vampire. That's B. It's Buffy! Don't ya get that yet? That's not some demon bent on the destruction of all mankind. That's the person that saved this miserable fuckin world more times than I can count. You should know that better than anyone. Secondly," I go on, "She's not a human. She's a slayer. Ya know, demon essence and all. Yea, she's a fucked up slayer, but a slayer all the same. And lastly," now I throw the mini onto the floor and let them see that she's awake as she lets out a yelp, "She's not unconscious."

Red goes over to her and starts checkin out the damage to her face. She gives her the once over to make sure nothing else is bleedin. The baby slayer only has eyes for me, though. She's lookin at me like I'm Satan himself and I'm lookin back at her without one ounce of compassion. Like I said, she got herself into this mess and dragged B in with her. I'm only interested in savin one of them and this piece of shit in front of me ain't it.

Turnin back to Giles I say, "Now G, either ya got a different way to save B, or I'm takin her dinner. Which is it?" Red lets out a little gasp and her girl's eyes go wide and panicked.

Giles takes his glasses off and starts cleanin them while speakin. "No, Faith," he says softly, "we have not been able to find any mention of another way to save Buffy. I'm afraid that the blood of a slayer is the only cure ever found in all the documented history we have been reading."

"Fine," I say. "It's settled then." I move to pick up Shannon and Red kinda moves in front of her with a whimper. I don't wanna hurt Red, but I am gonna do this. Just then Xand comes outta the room B's in and walks over to me.

"How is she," I ask him in a small scared voice.

"She's hurting," he answers. He's lookin me straight in the eyes and I can see he is so not happy about what I'm gonna do to save B. "Joyce has been staying with her nonstop. Buff seems to be fading in and out of consciousness, but whenever she is awake, the first thing she does is ask for you," he says.

I feel my eyes startin to tear up and shake my head. I tell him, "I'm gonna go make her feel better then. Shouldn't keep a lady waitin, ya know."

He puts a hand out on my shoulder, stopping me before I can even move and says, "Faith, I know what you think you have to do. And I know what Buff means to you. All I'm going to do is ask you a couple of questions, you don't even need to answer them, then I'm going to step aside and you do what you need to."

I look at him and nod for him to go on, but I don't like the way he sounds.

"First," he says, "What would you do if you came across someone, anyone, trying to feed a bound victim to a vampire? Any vampire. What would Buffy have done?" The look I'm givin him turns ice cold, even though I can see how much it's hurtin him to hafta say this to me.

"Second," he continues, and now he has tears in his own eyes, "If you do this and Buffy survives, do you think she's going to thank you? Do you think she's going to be able to forget what it took to save her?" Then he steps away and goes over to stand by the doorway. He's just lookin at me, waitin to see what I do.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!!! What is it with him? Doesn't he know what I'm goin through here? Doesn't he know how hard this is? Yea, of course he knows. He also knows I'll never be able to live with myself if I go through with this. He's also right about B. She would never be able to live with knowing what it took to save her. She would never forgive me.

I walk forward slowly towards the bedroom, goin right past Red and Shannon. I think the mini slayer almost passed out with relief as I kept goin without stopping to drag her sorry ass along with me. I mumble to Willow as I go passed, "Red, you gonna clean her up and unchain her or what?" I don't look at them. I keep my eyes focused on the door, my mind on what I'm gonna find on the other side and what I'm gonna do.

I open the door quietly and step inside. Joyce is sittin next to the bed in a chair, her eyes are red from cryin and she looks like she's aged about ten years. That's something else that's my fault. I shoulda just left her outta this. There's no reason she should hafta go through all this pain again. Here I thought I'd be doin something great for her, givin her the chance to see her daughter again, instead all I've givin her is more pain. Helluva way to show I care huh?

She looks up when I come in and shut the door. She actually smiles over at me. I feel her smile like a knife in my gut and I can't stop thinkin that I failed her too. She gets up from the chair and says, "Come here sweetie." The tenderness in her voice makes the tears that have been stingin my eyes spill over to run down my cheeks. I almost stumble as I move over to her and she wraps me up in a tight hug.

"I want to thank you for giving me this time with her, Faith," she whispers into my hair as she kisses my cheek. "I never thought I would have the chance to tell Buffy how proud I always was of her. How much I loved her, even when I was mad at her. Now, you gave me that chance and I can't tell you how much it means to me."

I can feel Joyce's tears on my face as they mix with mine and I can't hold back anymore. My breath hitches in my throat and I let out a long moan as I breakdown and start completely bawlin. This woman, this incredible woman who took me in and loved me and cared for me more than anyone ever before in my life, is standin here thankin me for bein the cause of her pain. And I know that I have to give her back her daughter. I had already made up my mind and now I know what I'm gonna do is abso-fuckin-lutely the right thing to do. There really is no other choice.

I take a coupla deep breaths and calm myself down as I tell her, "No Joyce, I gotta thank you, for everything you've done for me since I came to this town. You've been my friend and more of a mother to me than I ever thought I'd have. More than I ever deserved."

She leans back to look in my eyes and gives me that sweet understandin smile of hers. Then she wipes the last of the tears from my face as she says, "Don't be silly, Faith. How could anyone help but love you?"

That almost sets me off cryin again so I step back and say to her while wiping my eyes, "Joyce, do ya think I could have some time alone with B? I'd kinda like to say goodbye."

"Of course, dear," she says. "I'll be right outside, just call me when you're done." Then she kisses my cheek again and turns to leave.

I move over to the bed as I hear the door open and close. B is layin there with her eyes closed and a blood sweat standin out on her whole body. She's got a pained expression on her face and I can see the bed sheets bein ripped when she squeezes her hands. I sit on the edge of the bed and softly say to her, "Heya Twinky, Ya hangin in there?"

She opens her eyes and even through the pain she manages to give me a smile. She pants out, "Hey there, yourself. Finally decided to come see the cripple, huh?"

Oh God, she's tearin my heart out here. "You're not a cripple B," I tell her while I brush a strand of sweat soaked hair back from her face, "Ya could still kick most people's ass with one hand behind your back. Not mine of course, but most people."

She barks out a small laugh that turns into a coughin fit. I can see how much it's hurtin her and just about die inside. When she's done, there's a trail of blood runnin down from her lips and I reach over to wipe it away.

"Buffy listen to me," I say. She looks up at me and I know she noticed I used her full name. That always means I'm serious. "I'm gonna make it better for ya. We know how to cure this shit and I need ya to agree to take the antidote."

"Willow told me," she says. "Faith, I can't do it. I can't take Shannon's blood just to save myself. Not even for you. I'm sorry."

I feel a spark of anger at Red flare up then push it away. What did I think she would do, just sit there and watch me feed her girlfriend to B? "No B," I tell her. "I know you'd never be able to do that." I lean over her and pull my hair back from the side of my neck. "That's why you're gonna take mine."

She starts to pull away from me with a look of horror in her eyes. She starts sayin, "No! No way! No! Get out of here, Faith. Get away from me."

I reach over and hold her face between my hands, then lean in and slowly kiss her. Her lips are dry and cracked but I don't hesitate for even a moment. Pullin back and lookin in her eyes I tell her, "Buffy, I love you. I always have. I'm sorry, but I will not sit here and watch you die. I just can't do it."

Before she can say anything else I grab her shoulders and pull her up. I hold her in place with one hand and start slappin her as hard as I can across the face with the other. It's killin me inside but I hafta get the demon to wake up. I need her to lose control enough that I can make her drink. The third time I strike her she changes into vamp face and I know that it's now or never. Grabbin her by the back of the head I swing my hair outta the way and slam her face into the crook of my neck makin sure her mouth and nose land right over the jugular vein.

For a moment she tries to pull back but she's too weak and I'm too desperate. Then the smell of my blood right under her nose and the taste of my skin takes her over. I can feel her teeth as they sink into my neck, piercing the skin and letting the blood flow. At first it feels like she's just letting it run down her throat, helpless to stop, then I feel her start to suck. I can feel my life bein pulled outta me through the wound and into her.

In a little while I'm startin to get weak so I'm not grippin her as strongly as I was, but just as I'm getting weaker she's getting stronger and I feel her supportin me now. She's pullin me closer. She's holdin me up, keepin me from fallin backwards. I feel her leanin up farther and next thing I know we're standin in the middle of the room with her holdin me in her arms. I'm just hangin there unable to stand on my own. I feel everythin going grey and fuzzy. With my last few breaths I whisper into her ear, "Buffy, I'll always love you." Then we're both crashin to the floor.

The shock of hittin the ground must have brought her back from the blood lust, cause I hear her scream out, "Faith!!!!, Nooo!"

Her screams, so loud and strong, bring the others crashin through the door in a panic and the last thing I see is them gatherin around as Buffy pulls me into her lap. B starts cryin while brushin my hair back from my face. Her vamp face is gone and she looks as beautiful as ever to me. Even with the tears running down her face and snot bubbles in her nose. Everything goes black as I hear her cry over and over, "This can't happen, this can't happen………….."

B is gonna live, and I think the price was pretty cheap. I think I finally did something right.


	23. Can't Catch A Break

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 23: We Just Can't Catch a Break

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

There's a dull thud that comes from the bedroom like bodies hitting the floor, then a loud drawn out scream, "Faith!!!!, Nooo!". I'd know that voice anywhere, it's Buffy screaming and it doesn't sound anything like the harsh whisper she was speaking in the last time I was in the room with her. I'm out of the chair I was sitting in and across the room to the door in a flash. The others are right there with me. I slam the door open and what we see pretty much stops us all in our tracks. Buffy is sitting on the floor trying to pull Faith into her lap. Faith is laying there paler than the sheets that are on the bed. I can see a trail of blood that runs from under her hair by her left ear down along her neck. I can't see the bite marks, but from the way Buffy looks I have a very bad idea that I know what happened.

We all try to squeeze through the door at the same time, which pretty much means none of us was getting in. I pull back a little dragging Willow, Shannon and Giles with me and that let's Joyce get through the door first. I follow her in and the others sort of stumble through behind. Joyce's face is almost as pale as Faith's is, as she falls to her knees next to them. Her arm goes automatically around Buffy's shoulders as she tries to comfort her. I don't think that she really realizes that Buffy is going to be okay now. Or at least she's not going to die from the poison. I don't think that Buffy is ever going to be okay again if Faith dies.

Willow and Shannon both are clinging to each other, Willow with a look of shock on her face, while Shannon just looks confused. At least Will was able to clean her up some and help set her broken nose. I don't think Shannon gets how Faith could offer up her own life for Buffy. She still sees Buffy as a vampire, not a person that is loved by everyone else in this room. Giles is muttering, "Dear God!", over and over and doesn't appear to be processing what happened. Yeah, he has seen his share of bad things, but to walk in on a scene like this, something so unexpected, I think it broke him a little.

I go over and get down next to Faith, first thing I check is the neck wound. The bite is pretty clean considering. Just two small holes, there's not even that much blood coming out of it. I'm hoping that's because of the slayer healing starting to kick in and not because there's no blood left in Faith to be pumped out. Next thing I check is her pulse. I try and feel it in her carotid artery but can't find it. Maybe it's just too faint right now. I lean over and put my ear right over her heart to listen for it and that's about when Shannon starts freaking out.

"I told you she was a demon," she starts yelling. "She lured Faith in and attacked her!" She's looking around like she's trying to find something to stake Buffy with. I'm really starting to wonder why I tried to talk Faith out of feeding her to Buffy.

"Will," I say loud enough to get her attention, "Can you please shut her up! Tell her what happened since she's too slow to figure it out for herself. I'm trying to see if Faith's still with us." Shannon shuts up at my outburst and I can finally hear the faintest thump in my ear. It's almost more of a feeling than a sound. I let out the breath I was holding and tell Giles, "Her heart's still beating but we have to get her to a hospital, and like now." He heads out to the phone to get an ambulance on the way. I grab a pillow off the bed and yank the case off to use as a dressing for Faith's neck.

I finally spare a look up at Buffy and see the tears running down her face. Joyce is still trying to hold her, but Buffy just will not stop cradling Faith in her lap. "Buff, Buff…Buffy," I had to call her three times to get her to look at me. "Faith is going into shock, I need to lay her flat and get her feet up. Can you help me move her?" I figure giving Buff something to do, that may actually help Faith, is the best way to get her to come back to us. She nods her head slowly and starts moving Faith gently back onto the floor. "Joyce?" I ask next, "Can you grab the blanket off the bed? We need to keep her warm." Joyce moves to get the blanket without saying a word. Okay, three of them are moving and helping, Willow is talking to Shannon in the corner and I really don't give a shit what Shannon's frame of mind is. Although, if she wants to go terminator on Buff, I'm going to try and put her down myself.

Buffy has Faith laying stretched out on the floor and even thought ahead enough to grab the pillows to slip under her feet. That'll help what little blood Faith has left pool around her heart and maybe give it something to pump. Checking Faith over again, I notice that her breaths are getting even more ragged as the minutes pass. I'm just about to yell to Giles to find out where the fuck the ambulance is when I hear the siren in the distance and getting closer fast.

"Buffy," I say gently, "They're going to be here in a minute and then we'll take Faith to the hospital. Why don't you let Joyce help you get cleaned up then she can drive you over in my car?" It takes a moment for her eyes to focus on me, then she looks down at herself and over to Joyce. Looking back to me she nods her head. She leans down and kisses Faith's forehead then stands to leave. Joyce is right there by her side and as they leave the room I get a good view of the look that Buffy sends Shannon's way. Something tells me Shannon better start praying that Faith makes it out of this shit alive. If not, I don't think Shannon's going to set any records for longest living slayer.

Giles has come back in the room at this point and is hovering by the door just waiting for the ambulance crew to show up. In the quite that the room has fallen into I can finally hear what Willow and Shannon are talking about.

I hear Willow saying, "Buffy would never have attacked Faith, Shannon. They love each other. Buffy had her humanity returned to her month's ago but we didn't realize it. We all thought she had died before the spell could work. That's why she was only attacking vampires and demons, she was actually keeping Sunnydale safe. Faith knew the only way to save Buffy was the blood of a slayer and she wasn't willing to sacrifice you, well maybe she was willing. But, Xander just made her think about it a little more."

"She, she gave herself to keep Buffy alive instead of using me?" Shannon asks. "Why would she do that? Why would she care about me when I was the one to give Buffy the poison to begin with?"

Willow looks over at Faith and almost makes me cry with what she says next, because it's nothing but the truth.

"It's simple, Shan," Willow tells her, "She did it because she's a hero." And I think that Willow really believes it for the first time. I always knew Faith was a hero, I'm probably the only one who still thought she was one after she took off, when we all thought Buffy was dead, again.

"But the Council and my Uncle swore that she was evil. That she had to be stopped. How could they be so wrong?" Shannon says quietly, "Why would they lie to me?" You could almost see her loss of faith in everything she had believed.

Willow takes her hand and gently tells her, "Shannon, we weren't lying to you when we told you those stories about what the Council tried to do. I know that Quinten Travers is the only family you have now and I'm not saying that he doesn't really care for you. But, you have to remember that the Council will always use whatever they can to get what they want. And what they want most is power over the slayers."

And I think that Shannon is finally getting it. You can see the change come over her. It's like Willow's words had finally extinguished the light of blind obedience from her. Too bad it's too little too late to have avoided all this shit. Don't get me wrong. I 'm very glad that Shannon is waking up and smelling the coffee but, she should of just trusted us to begin with and I wouldn't be sitting here wondering if I'm going to lose one of the best friends I've ever had.

The paramedics are coming through the door now and it's about time. I quickly move off to the side to give them room to work. "What happened to her?" the one in charge asks.

"We're not sure," I lie to them. "We came in to check on her and found her laying on the floor and bleeding."

"She's lost a lot of blood," in charge guy continues. "More than what looks like is on the floor."

I just shrug at him, let them think what they want. This is Sunnydale after all. It's not like it's going to be the first loss of blood accident they ever had to report. "Shouldn't we be getting her to a hospital?" I ask. I really want them to get moving, I can fill them in on general stuff while we're on the road. Hopefully they'll be too busy to ask any questions I don't have answers for. If they do I'll just have to make it up as I go along.

They load Faith onto a gurney and start giving her oxygen. They told me that they were starting a blood drip using O positive until they could type her at the hospital. I think that's Faith's blood type anyway so it shouldn't be a problem. They seem satisfied that she's as stable as they're going to get her and we all move out to the ambulance. They put Faith in and I climb in right behind them. Giles and Willow head over to his car, they're going to follow us. Strangely, Shannon is with them and it looks like she's going to come also. Huh, wonders never cease. The driver hits the lights and siren and we're finally on our way.

As we speed through the Sunnydale night, I keep a tight hold on Faith's hand. The paramedic is busy constantly checking her heart rate and blood pressure so every once in a while I have to let go, but as soon as I can, I grab her hand back up. Her hands feel ice cold, like she was swimming in the ocean at night. I keep staring at her face, almost willing her to open her eyes and give me a smirk. Jesus, I'd do almost anything to have her crack a joke right now, instead of her laying here looking even paler in the light of the ambulance. She looks so frail right now. Who would ever believe that this woman could fight vamps and demons and lived life so fully it exhausted the rest of us just watching?

I don't know if Faith is going to make it out of this, but I do know one thing. Sooner or later someone needs to teach the Council a lesson and I know a certain ex-slayer turned vamp that would be happy to do it.


	24. Missing In Action

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 24: Missing In Action

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

The ambulance pulled into the hospital emergency room entrance and screeched to a stop. The back doors flew open and the paramedics pulled the gurney Faith was on out and rushed her inside. I scrambled to keep up, but was stopped as I tried to follow Faith into the room where a group of people in scrubs were already working on her. "I need to get in there," I said to the woman who stopped me. I think she might have been one of the nurses, but didn't really care who she was. I just wanted to be with Faith. I had gotten the idea in my head that if I wasn't right with her every minute, somehow she wouldn't make it. Not that there was anything I could do for her. It was just a feeling and I've learned to trust my feelings.

"It's alright, we'll take good care of her," the woman in front of me was saying. It took me a moment to realize she was even speaking to me. When I did, I looked at her for the first time. She was a small brown haired older woman, dressed in a white uniform and wearing a flower covered smock. She took me by the arm and led me over to the side of the room to a small desk. "I need to get some information from you. Once they have her stabilized I'm sure you'll be allowed to see her," she said to me with a small smile.

I reached up and ran a hand through my hair as I blew out a long breath. Yea, she was right. I didn't like it, but I knew they wouldn't let me stay in the room with her. I couldn't stop my eyes from constantly looking at the door they took Faith through. Almost like I if I kept watching, Faith would come bouncing out of the door with her shit eating grin in place and tell me it was just a joke.

"Now young man," the nurse, receptionist, whatever, told me. "I need you to answer some questions if you can. What is the young ladies name?" she asked while pulling a clipboard of forms in front of her.

"Faith," I answer not really thinking about it. "Faith Lehane."

"Okay, and can you tell me what happened to Faith," she asked next.

Here's where it's going to get tricky. "We were at Faith's house and she was in the next room. We heard a crash and when we went in we found her laying on the floor. We called an ambulance and you guy's showed up." Short and sweet. If I try and give too many details I know this will take all night.

"Do you know if Faith has any insurance?" She asks next. I give her a look like she's crazy.

"Lady, you've got to be kidding me," I yell at her. "Faith's in there fighting for her life and you're worried about if she has insurance? No, I don't know if she has insurance. In fact, I really don't give a damn if she does or not. But don't worry, I know she has enough money to cover the bill, so why don't you just leave me alone and go do something useful like finding out if she's going to make it or not." I know it's not this woman's fault and that I shouldn't be taking it out on her that I'm worried, but I am really not in the mood to play paperwork games right now.

"Yes, well," she says in a soft voice, "We can take care of this later. I'll see what I can find out for you." Great, now I feel like a creep for hollering at her.

I lower my voice and say quietly, "Thank you and I'm sorry. I'm a little upset right now. I would appreciate anything you could find out for me though." I give her my best grin for good measure and she smiles back so I think she may understand.

As she moves off to find out about Faith, the doors open behind me and Giles, Willow and Shannon come in. We all move over to the waiting area and Giles asks, "Is there any word yet? How is she?"

"They took her in a little while ago and the nurse just went to find out what she could for me," I say.

Willow and Shannon are standing close to each other and Will speaks up, "I'm sure she'll be alright, Xand. Faith has been through some tough spots before and she always comes through."

What I want to say is that she wouldn't be trying to stay alive right now if it wasn't for Will's new buddy, but I can see she's really upset and me snapping at her isn't going to help Faith any. So instead I just say, "Yea, she's tough alright." Then looking right at Shannon I can't help but add, "She would claw her way back from Hell to be with Buffy, so I'm sure a little blood loss won't keep her down."

Shannon surprises me by not saying anything. She just looks down at the floor and if I didn't know her better I would say she was feeling guilty. She should feel guilty. I just hope we have some good news before Buff gets here or Shannon's going to be feeling something more than just guilt. She'll be feeling a very pissed off slayer's fist.

A few minutes later the nurse who was asking me questions about Faith came back. She walks up to me and looks around briefly at the others. "You're friend has lost a lot of blood," she says. I can feel everyone bracing themselves for bad news. Then the nurse continues, "They were able to get the wound on her neck dressed, but it actually didn't seem to be bad enough to cause the loss of blood she experienced. However, the paramedics' treatment on the way here seems to have helped stabilize her and after she gets her red cell count back up she should be fine."

You can feel the tension in the room deflate as everyone lets out a sigh of relief. Willow and Giles are smiling at each other, and then Willow turns and gives Shannon a hug. I just slump back against the wall and close my eyes. When I open them I tell the nurse that brought us such good news, "Thank you. When do you think we can see her?"

"They're finishing up now and then she'll be moved down the hall to a room for recovery. I'd say in about a half hour you should be able to visit for a little while, but I must warn you, she hasn't regained consciousness yet. We are going to keep her overnight for observation if she doesn't wake up soon, but if she does, she should be able to be discharged tomorrow," she tells me. And again I feel bad for yelling at her earlier, I mean, come on, she was just trying to do her job, right?

We thank her for her help and as she goes back down the hallway the doors open again. Joyce and Buffy come through them with Buffy almost running over to us.

"Where is she?" Buff asks. She has a slightly panicked look in her eyes and under that you can see the guilt she is feeling.

"It's okay, Buff," I tell her. "They have Faith in a treatment room and the nurse just told us she's stabile. We should be able to see her soon."

Buffy slumps forward against me and I hold her as I feel some of the tension leave her body. "That's great Xand," She says. She pulls away from me and looks over to Joyce with a little smile. Joyce has gone to stand next to Giles and they're speaking quietly to each other. Shannon and Willow are still standing together and Shannon is watching Buffy like she's a mouse and Buffy is a hungry cat.

As Buffy's eyes scan over our little group, I can see the change in them as her gaze settles on Shannon and the look she is giving the younger slayer is not one meant to reassure. Shannon takes an involuntary step back and kinda pulls Willow with her. Buffy must realize that she's freaking out the newbie and turns to look at me again.

"How could I have done that to her?" She asks me in a quiet voice. It's almost like she's talking to herself, but I have to answer her. There's no way I can let her start getting wrapped up in a guilt trip over this. Faith is going to need her now and they've both been through too much to have to start over.

I put my arms back around her as I tell her, "Buff, Faith made the decision to save you. There was no way she was going to lose you after just getting you back. The only cure for the poison was a slayers blood and she trusted you enough to stop before you took too much."

"I almost didn't stop," she whispers.

"But you did," I tell her. "Trust me, I know that there's no way that you would ever intentionally hurt Faith. You love her too much."

Willow comes over and puts a hand on Buffy's shoulder. "Buff?" she says. When Buffy turned to her, Willow's arms wrapped around her and squeezed in a big hug. It's a good thing Buff has slayer, not to mention vampire, strength or I think Willow would have broken a couple of her ribs. "It's so good to see you," Willow says. She's got her eyes closed and small tears are running down her face. "When they told me you were back I didn't know what to think. I thought they were crazy, now here you are and I think I'm the crazy one. I felt so bad when I found out the ensouling spell didn't work and you died again, but now your back, you didn't die, and the spell actually worked, and you've been taking care of Sunnydale, and doing it all alone, and now your back, and we know, and we can help, and it'll be like before……and……and….. I missed you so much!" Will's babble finally trails off as she runs out of breath.

Will takes a step back from Buff and looks over to Shannon then says, "This is Shannon, uh, I guess you guys have sorta already met, but she didn't know you were a good guy."

"Yea, we've met," Buff says coldly. After what Shannon has put Buff through, Will can't really expect them to be best buds.

A different nurse comes over then and says to me, "Your friend is awake, but she's still weak. We've moved her down to room 122 and you can see her now. Only two of you at a time though."

Joyce comes over to stand next to Buffy and I tell them, "Why don't you guys go check on her? I'll go in after you're done, okay?"

Buffy gives me a quick hug along with a thankful smile then holds Joyce's hand as they move off down the hallway. Willow is looking at me kind of funny so I ask her, "What? Do I have something stuck on my face?"

"No," she says, "You just look so sad. Faith is going to be alright. What's wrong?"

I shake my head at her and say, "Faith is going to live, but I doubt that she'll be alright. With that stupid 'no happiness allowed' part of the curse, Buff and Faith will never be alright. There's has to be a way around it."

"Well," Willow says and her brow is wrinkled up as she thinks, "If I can find a way to anchor Buffy's conscience to her body, you know, kinda of make it impervious to being ripped away, that might work. But I would need some kind of magic artifact that's tuned to vampires."

"I might be able to help you there," Shannon walks over and speaks for the first time. She's looking at the ground when she says, "I took the gem of Amara from Buffy when I………..when I last saw her," she finishes. "I was going to send it back to my Uncle, but if you think you can use it to help keep her soul intact, I will give it to you."

Will's eyes light up and she smiles at Shannon, "That would be perfect."

Giles who was standing there listening to the conversation says, "Yes. That would certainly work. The gems original purpose was to protect a vampire from any sort of physical attack. There is no reason it couldn't be used to protect Buffy from spiritual attacks as well."

I'm starting to get my hopes up. If anyone can find a way to make this work it would be Giles and Will. I say to them, "Can you guys go get started on that? It would be great if when I see Faith I could give her some good news."

"We can stop and get what we need, then work on it at Faith's place," Will says. "There's lots of room there and we won't be interrupted."

Giles nods and leads Willow and Shannon to the doors. I look up to see Buffy and Joyce rushing over to the nurses' station with worried looks on their faces. I go over to see what the problem is and get there in time to hear Buff say, "Yes I'm sure. We were told she was in room 122 and there's no one there! Can you please check again."

The woman behind the desk says, "Just a moment while I look her up in the computer." Then she starts tapping keys. "I'm sorry," she tells us, "It says here that the patient was transferred to another facility. They must have taken her right after she was released from the treatment room."

Joyce says in a tight voice, "Transferred to where? Who authorized her to be moved?"

The woman behind the desk is looking a little nervous and I don't blame her since she's faced with two very upset Summers women. "It only says that she was transferred to a private facility. The transfer orders were faxed in from a Dr. Travers," she tells us.

Buffy's lips are set in a tight line as she heads straight for the door. Joyce and I hurry to catch up to her. The Council doesn't know it yet, but it just started a war.


	25. Through The Looking Glass

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 25: Through The Looking Glass

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

Damn my head hurts. I'm layin down somewhere and my eyes are closed. I started hearin sounds a little while ago but my brain is all fuzzy and I'm not sure what they are. The longer I lay here the clearer they become, well not really clearer, everything I hear sounds like it's muffled by cotton or something. I start to open my eyes and a blinding pain shoots through my head, as if it didn't hurt enough already. I quickly squeeze my eyes closed and won't be tryin that again anytime soon. I try to lift a hand to rub my forehead and it feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. Why am I so weak? What the hell happened?

I try and relax hopin that I'll figure out what's goin on, or at least where I am. Thinkin back I remember havin a fight with the new slayer. I can see myself standin over her and chainin her arms up, then throwin her on my bike and goin home. Why am I takin her home? Oh shit! Buffy. I had to get the newbie to heal B! It's all comin back in a rush now. I remember carryin the bitch that poisoned B into the house, then havin the confrontation with Willow and Xander. Throwin her on the floor and deciding that I would use my own blood to save B. I didn't want any part of the new girl near Buffy. I remember goin into the bedroom and askin Joyce to wait outside. Forcin B to drink and then passin out. But before I passed out I saw Buffy, she was healed and holdin me. Tellin me she loved me. I musta done it. I musta saved her.

The thought that B's gonna live makes me relax a little and I sink back into the pillows cradling my head. If B's okay, then it doesn't matter where I am. As soon as I can get my ass in gear, I'll be able to go see her. That thought makes me smile as a flood of warm feelings for her runs through me.

I'm layng here kinda floatin. My head is startin to feel better and I risk crackin open my eyes again. Everythin is kinda hazy, but I don't get the blinding pain I had earlier. Carefully lookin around, I can see I'm hooked up to the required monitors and there's a bag of what looks like blood runnin to an IV in my arm. I'm still havin a really hard time getting my arms to move, but that should go away soon. Heh, heh, Slayer healin, ya gotta love it. I must not have been out for too long cause I can see through the window that it's still nighttime. I wonder how long it's been though.

Hmmm, I musta just been moved into this room cause there's no sign of any of the Scoob's or Joyce around. I would think that at least B would be here for when I woke up. Christ, I hope she doesn't go all 'guilt trippin' on me and avoidy cause I made her drink. Maybe she'll be pissed about me smackin her around to bring the demon out. No. I'm not gonna even worry about that right now, not until I can move around and actually do something about it if it's true. Me and her have got to get past all this shit. It seems like all we do is go round and round tryin to second guess each other. And I, for one, have had enough of that dance. We are gonna start talkin about what's goin on, no more guessin. I just wanna start living. Really livin, with her by my side. Ha, that's pretty funny. Me wantin to talk about my feelings. I must be outta it more than I thought.

I look over to the door as someone starts comin in. Before the door is open all the way I rasp out, "B?" Man, my voice sounds like shit. It's barely above a whisper and sounds like it just rolled outta a gravel pit. The door opens the rest of the way and I can see it's not Buffy, but a coupla orderlies walkin in pushin a gurney. There's a look of surprise on their faces when they see I'm awake but they cover pretty quickly. One of them starts over to the bed while the other one closes the door. Funny, but it looked like he was checkin out the hallway first before shuttin it.

'We have to move fast," the one by the bed says. I'm all of sudden not likin the way this is goin.

"She's awake," the other one hisses. "She shouldn't be awake yet."

"Shut up and get over here," the first guy says. "She must just now be coming around and I want to get her sedated before she completely wakes up. Hold her down just in case!"

I'm really not likin this now and I try to move away from them. I still can't get my arms to move too much and there's not very far I could go on the bed anyway. I try my voice again and I can still barely hear it, "Who are you guys? What are ya tryin to do?"

"This would have been easier at the cemetery, if Travers' pet slayer hadn't screwed up," the second guy says.

"Quit you're complaining. She botched it. We are just lucky we made it to the house in time to follow this one here," the guy by the bed says. "If we had blown this mission there's no telling what the old man would have done. He's been itching to get his hands on this girl for a long time. I don't know why, but he's taking getting control of this slayer personal. Probably cause the last one kept ignoring him."

"Great. Now he'll have a spare slayer to play with those damn vampires he keeps locked up. If you ask me, Travers has gone off the deep end," the second guy says as he comes over and holds down my arms.

Shit and double shit! These must be the Council goons the mini called from the cemetery. That means they're gonna try and take me back for 'reconditioning'. Or worse. I wish I coulda waited and taken them out at the graveyard. Then they'd be the ones layin here gettin blood. I try and move again, my arms, my legs, anything that I could use to fight them. But all I'm doin is little feeble flops with my arms and my legs just sit there kinda tremblin. I hate bein weak and right now I'm more helpless than a kitten.

They don't even look at me as the first guy pulls a syringe from his pocket and slips it into my arm. Damn it, I hate needles! He pushes the plunger down and I can feel a rush of warmth runnin into my veins and spreadin throughout my whole body. Everywhere it touches, it leaves a calm, slightly numb feelin. As the heat flows through me, I feel myself start to float away and all my limbs relax. I'm not passin out or nothin, I just can't seem to care about what's goin on. It's almost like watchin a boring show on TV. You're kinda lookin at it, but don't remember what happened two minutes ago. And don't care.

"Alright," first dude says, "That'll hold her till we get out of here. Shut those machines off and help me move her onto the gurney."

The second dude moves to the machines and starts flippin switches. One by one they go silent. He keeps lookin at me like I'm gonna bite him or something and I can't help but laugh at him. It sounds like more of a wheezy snort to my ears, but inside I'm bustin a gut. I know I should be worried about something their doin, but can't for the life of me remember why. And that makes me laugh at myself. I'm a big scary slayer and I'm havin a hard time concentratin on my own name. My name…..Faith……….I say it again in my head, Faaaiiittthhh……. It sounds funny and I start snickerin again. Faith and……..Buffy. Buffy? Oh, Buffy….. blonde hair, green eyes, slight overbite. Overbite, that sends me laughin again, cause Buffy's a vamp now. B's a vampire now? That thought sobers me up for about a second, something to do with B bein a vamp and needin…….. what? Then it drifts away on the warm tide.

What was I thinkin? Doesn't matter. The guys in the scrubs got me moved onto the gurney thing and are startin to wheel me outta the room. One guy looks up and down the hall before pullin me out behind him. Wheeeeee, I'm goin for a ride! I let my head lay back and watch the ceiling as we're movin. The tiles are whippin past, each one slightly different than the other, but all still the same. It's kinda makin me dizzy so I close my eyes for a moment.

That's makin me even more dizzy. So I open them and look down the hallway. There at the end I see a group of people talkin to a nurse. They're all paying really close attention to whatever she's tellin them and they look a little relieved. I'm happy for them. It looks like they just got some good news. As the nurse moves away from them I get a look at a little blonde that kinda leans into some guy. Wait a minute, that's not some guy, that's Xand. And the blonde is Buffy. Oh man, Joyce, Giles, Red and the newbie are there as well. They must be here to see me and these guys are takin me away. No! I don't wanna go! I try and call out but my damn voice is still betrayin me, all that comes out is a soft, "B."

Then we move around a corner and I can't see B and Xander in the hall anymore. Hmmm, I was just thinkin about something. What the hell was it? Doesn't matter. Wheeee! I'm goin for a ride. Glidin down the hallway, I watch all the people comin and goin. Lookin at them, it seems like they're movin real slow. Like any minute they're gonna freeze in place then crumble away. Picturin them crumbling away, reminds me of how a vamp dusts and that makes me snort laughter again. Nothin better than dustin a vamp.

We turn around another corner and we're out a door. There's a private ambulance with its doors open, sittin in front of us and the guys pushin me stop just long enough to lower the gurney before hoistin me up and in. I gotta tell ya, getting lowered then raised like that is gonna get these guys covered in puke if they do it again. I can feel my stomach protesting the sudden change in directions and I gag a little.

One of my scrub wearin pals hops in back with me and starts securing my hands to the rails, while the other climbed in the front. The one back here turns to me at my gaggin sound and looks like he's gonna lose his lunch. The way his jaw is flexin sends me into a fit of giggles. A moment later and I'm wonderin what I was gigglin about. The engine starts up and we pull away from the hospital. That makes me sad for a minute. Almost like I was leavin something behind that I shoulda had with me. Then I notice the stars through the back window and forget about everythin else.

Lookin at the stars I start thinkin to myself, 'Twinkle, twinkle, little bat. How I wonder where you're at?' Now I'm giggling again. Why am I thinkin of bat's? That's kinda familiar. Bats…..vampires…….Buffy……Buffy! That's who's at the hospital. That's what I left behind. I start tryin to get a hand loose and the guy in back here flips on the overhead light to check the restraints he put on me. As the light washes over me, my eyes settle on the silver ring on my hand. The dome light on the roof is reflectin off it in different color rays and I think, 'Oooo, that's wicked pretty'. Wait, I was gonna do something wasn't I? What was it? Doesn't matter. Man, does this feel good. It's like a constant warm wave is flowin through my whole body. It's like I could just coast here forever. Zero stress baby.

I'm startin to get a little sleepy and as I drift off I notice the light reflectin off my ring has changed color again. It's green now. A deep emerald green. It reminds of something, no, someone. Someone's green eyes. Green eyes, that I could stare into for the rest of my life and never get tired of seein them. As I fade out, all I can think of is blonde hair, green eyes, and this warm feelin I have inside me. Finally a feelin of home.


	26. The Art Of War

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 26: The Art Of War

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

We had taken my car back to Faith's house, Joyce and Buff had used it to get to the hospital earlier, and we made it back in record time. A big part of that was Buffy insisted on driving. Maybe insisted is too kind of a word. More like snatched the keys and would have taken off without us, if we hadn't jumped in before she could pull out. Being undead didn't do a thing for Buff's driving skills. If it wasn't for her slayer/vamp reflexes we would have been smeared all over at least a half dozen places on the way here.

Buff pulls right up to the door and is out of the car in a flash. Joyce and I come through the door just in time to see her lifting Shannon off the ground with one hand by her throat and slamming her into a nearby wall. Willow is standing up from her chair with a hand to her mouth and Giles is sputtering, "Buffy! What is wrong? What are you doing?"

Buff just ignores them both. She only has eyes for Shannon. "Where did they take her?" she growls out. Her eyes are glowing yellow and Shannon's are wide with fear.

"What are you talking about?" Shannon gasps out. It's a little hard to understand her, what with Buff practically choking off her air supply. Shannon is trying to break Buff's hold on her, but it's a little like watching a kitten wrestling a tiger, not a chance in hell.

Buffy let's out a frustrated growl and slams her fist into the wall right next to Shannon's head, gouging out a huge chunk of concrete. "Your Council buddies took Faith," Buffy tells her. Then she starts shaking Shannon, emphasizing each word as she speaks, "Where…. Did…. They…. Take…. Her!"

Shannon is flopping around like a rag doll and her face is going grey. If Buff doesn't let up soon Shannon's going to pass out from lack of air, then we'll never find out where Faith is.

I walk over to them slowly and carefully put a hand on Buffy's shoulder. I try and talk to her in a calm voice but inside I'm a little scared of what she might do. "Buff, she's going to need to breathe to answer your questions. Can you ease up just a little before she passes out?"

Buffy flicks her eyes from Shannon over to me and I can see the pain and fear that are there. I don't blame her. I'm pretty scared for what might be happening to Faith right now too. But overlaying the emotions in Buffy's eyes is a layer of rage that would send the devil himself scurrying for cover. I think maybe she was actually listening to me though, because I see her hand loosen its grip slightly and Shannon slides down the wall until her feet hit the ground again.

"We were at the hospital then Buffy and Joyce went to see Faith," I say. I make sure my voice is loud enough for Giles and Willow to hear what happened since I don't want to have to tell this twice. "When they got to the room she was supposed to be in, it was empty. We went back to the nurses' station to make sure of the room number and we found out Faith was transferred on the orders of a 'Dr. Travers'. There's only one Travers that we know of and we don't believe in coincidence. So, Shannon, where would a Council goon squad set up shop around here?"

"I did not think they would have followed us to the hospital," she says. "I had called them to go to the cemetery, but since Faith brought me back here I thought they would have missed us. They must have been closer than I thought."

Buffy's arms are starting to tremble with her barely contained rage. "I don't care what you thought. Where are they?" she yells and she throws Shannon across the room onto the couch. Willow goes over to Shannon and puts an arm around her while looking up at Buffy with pleading eyes. I'm not sure what Will sees in Shannon, but I hope it's worth it.

"There are a number of safe places here in Sunnydale that the Council has use of," Shannon starts saying while rubbing her throat. "The original plan was to set up in a warehouse at the docks so that once Faith was taken, there would be easy access to a ship that would transport her back to England."

"Which warehouse is it?" Buffy asks. She seems to be calming down but I think it's only because she knows if she doesn't, she might blow the only chance we have for getting Faith back. That is, if they don't just kill her and be done with it. I'm trying really hard not to think too much about that possibility. I'm not sure there's a force on earth that would be able to stop Buff from taking revenge, both here and abroad.

"It's at the end of the wharf. Number thirteen." Shannon is just a wealth of information once Buffy got her talking. "There's a large bay door in front and an access door in the rear. It has a catwalk around the interior about twenty-five feet above the floor space."

Buffy is nodding her head as Shannon finishes talking. Will," she says. "Can you pull up any blueprints for the warehouse layout on line?"

"Sure Buffy," Will says. "I can try." Then she gives Shannon a small hug before going back over to the computer.

"Giles," she says next, "What kind of weapons does the Council usually give their field operatives?"

"I would imagine standard issue equipment would vary depending on the assignment," he says. That sounds like Giles speak for 'I don't know' to me.

"Xander, keep an eye on Little Miss Information. I want her around when Will finds those blueprints," she tells me. Then she looks over to Joyce and her face softens for the first time since Faith went missing.

"Mom," she asks and her voice is small, almost tentative, "Can….can I talk to you alone for a minute?"

Joyce is already moving over to her and says, "Of course, honey. Let's go in the other room." Then she slips her arm around Buff's waist and they walk out.

I wander over to where Will is flashing through different building inspector websites and look over her shoulder. I'm still keeping an eye on Shannon, but she's huddled on the couch and doesn't seem to be any big hurry to move off of it. I guess Shannon has had some simple truths brought home to her lately and she probably needs a few minutes to deal. Maybe they seem simple truths to us because we all grew up fighting the supernatural, not knowing if the next fight would be our last. That kind of life makes you appreciate what little happiness you can find that much more. Vampires with souls can exist, Slayers can love vampires, but most of all, when two people love each other it doesn't matter who or what they are. They just need to be together.

Looking at the computer screen I ask, "Any luck yet, Will?"

"I've been through and printed some of the building code prints for the warehouse and now I'm going into the city files. I'll start with the tax files, then move onto the real estate files. I'm sure I'll find a print we can use," she says. She glances over to Shannon on the couch and lowers her voice, "You think she'll be okay, Xand? Buffy wouldn't really hurt her, would she?"

Giles is looking over the prints as they come off Will's portable printer and I can feel more than see him listening for what I say next.

I don't want to lie to her. She's been my best friend since kindergarten, but she has got to know how bad things are. "Will," I say as gently as I can, "I know you and Shannon have been getting close. Maybe more than close." Wills face turns pink and she is watching the monitor a little more closely. "You guys haven't known each other very long. What would you do if Faith had come back to town and tried to kill her?"

Wills eyes flash up to mine and I can see the anger rising up in her at just the thought of it. "I would use every spell I could find to return the favor," she says.

I nod my head. She doesn't know it yet but she just made my point for me. Looking straight in her eyes I tell her, "Exactly. And Faith has loved Buffy pretty much from the moment she came to town. Buffy has probably loved Faith almost as long, it just took her longer to figure it out. What do you think they're willing to do to protect each other? What do you think they'll do to avenge each other? Add to that Faith's a slayer and Buff is now a super slayer, do you think there's anything that could stop them if they don't want to be stopped?"

I can see the blood drain from Willow's face as the thought of how much raw destruction either one them could bring down comes to her.

"Maybe the Council was right about slayers being turned," she whispers.

I put a hand on her shoulder and say, "No, killing the slayers just because they were turned wasn't right, Will. Where would it stop if we killed everything that might possibly be dangerous? Tigers? Lions? Bears? Oh my!," I give her a little grin to ease the tension. Then I go on, "I will tell you this much, the Council definitely should have stayed out of our business and sat this one out. We need to find where they're holding Faith, and then we need to get her out. And in the meantime, we pray that they don't do something stupid like hurt or kill her. Because if they do, Will," I turn her face so she is looking right at me, "I'm not going to try and stop Buffy, I'm going to help her."

She looks at me for a moment like she never saw me before. Maybe she hasn't, cause I meant every word I said.

Giles clears his voice and says, "This looks interesting."

"What's that G," I ask.

Right at that moment Buffy and Joyce come back into the room. I could see that they both had been crying, but they still had their arms around each other and Buff seemed a lot calmer. I bet Joyce could have talked a raging bull elephant down. She just has that way about her, a way of making it seem like everything will always work out alright Not for the first time I wonder if Buffy really understands how lucky she was to have her.

"What's the what?" Buffy asks as they come over to where we're standing.

Giles glances over to them and gives Joyce a small smile then says, "There seems to be two skylights that are on the original prints but not on later ones. I would imagine that they were covered over for privacy and as such, they are probably little more than plywood and tar paper. Also, there was once an underground tunnel that ties into the old aqueducts. It's shown here as being boarded over as well."

"So," Buff says, "Two concealed ways in, plus the front and back doors. Good, I'll only need one of them."

"We'll," I say.

"What?" Buff asks and she has her nose scrunched up in confusion.

"I said 'We'll, as in 'we will' need only one of them," I tell her. "I'm coming with."

She gives me a thankful look but doesn't argue. She knows that I'd do anything for Faith. And for her, too. She simply says, "Thanks Xand."

"If……..if you two take one entrance, I…..I could take one of the others." We all turn at the same time to see Shannon standing behind us. She looks away as we stare, then looks back with determination. "I want to help. I was wrong and mislead. I need to help undo what I caused to happen," she says.

"You want to help what? Help make sure we all get captured," Buffy hisses. Not big on the forgive and forget is our Buff. Although I can't blame her right now, I think she needs to give Shannon a chance. Everybody deserves at least one shot at redemption.

I give Buffy a pointed look at the same time that Joyce squeezes her arm. Buff looks at us both then says, "Fine, whatever, you can help. But if I even think you're setting us up, I'll make sure you go down first. Do you understand?"

Shannon nods her head and quietly says, "Yes."

"Okay," Buff says moving into take charge girl mode. "Shannon you go in through the roof. Be quite, but be quick."

I hear Giles mumble, "Take the high ground."

I turn to Buff and ask, "Where're we going in?"

She gives me an evil smile and says, "Through the front door. We hit them hard and we hit them fast."

I glance over as Giles says under his breath, "Confusion to my enemies." What's with G-man? Is he going senile on us?

Buffy looks again at Shannon, "We meet up inside, find Faith and get her out. Anyone gets in our way we roll right over them."

Giles again is doing that mumble thing, "Keep your friends close…….."

Then Buffy looks at him with a smile and says, "And your enemies closer." Anything I'm forgetting Giles?" she asks with a raised eyebrow.

Giles gives her a gentle smile of his own and answers, "No actually. It appears you were paying more attention through the years than I gave you credit for."

"Thanks, about time you realized that," she says teasing him. "You, Mom, and Will stay here. We'll call as soon as we have Faith back."

We all go over to the armory and load up with weapons. The Council started this, but Buff is going to make sure we finish it.


	27. Who's That Knocking At My Door?

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 27: Who's That Knocking At My Door

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

Ugh! What the fuck! My mouth tastes like I was chewing on tin foil and there's a pounding in my head that just won't quit. It's so loud that it sounds like it's bouncing of the walls. Wait a minute. That's not comin from my head. I open my eyes and look around to find I'm strapped to this gurney thing and in some kinda warehouse. There's a half dozen of those Council dudes standin round and starin at the roll down door that's off to the side. I recognize two of them as the ones that grabbed me from the hospital. The other four I never seen before.

Things are kinda hazy, but I remember everything that happened. These guy's snatched me from the hospital and took me away before I got to see B. Damn, I need to get outta here. I try and get the restraints offa my arms, but I'm still a little weak. And that poundin sound is gonna drive me nuts. Lookin back over to the door, I see it start bucklin in and a moment later it explodes off the track to fly across the room. Oh, shit yea! There standin in the openin is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.

She's standin in the middle of the doorway with a hand on one hip and her head tilted to the side. B's dressed in black leather pants, red tank top and my leather jacket. Jesus, she looks hot! She also looks royally pissed off to no end. Xander is right next to her, spinnin a battle axe in his hand and has a lopsided grin plastered on his face. Heh, heh, I dunno how they found this place, but I shoulda known my buds were gonna come get me. I start giggling and yell over, "Hey B, you're early. I didn't have time to get dressed for our date." Then I bust out laughin. Shit! Whatever they gave me must not of worn off all the way yet. This is gonna be sooo not of the good.

The two guys that snatched my ass turn and head over towards me. Two others facin Xand and my girl are reachin for guns. The other two look like they don't know whether to fight or run. They're gonna find out they shoulda just ran. One of the ones with a gun says over his shoulder, "If she starts to get loose, just kill her. I don't give a damn what Travers said." He musta been talkin about me and seems to be the guy in charge of this little shindig. He turns back to the doorway and the both of them open fire at Buff and Xander.

B grabs Xander and moves in a blur of speed over behind some crates. She moved so quick I swear I saw Xand's feet leave the ground. I can see the bullets exploding through the wood as the Council guys try and track them with the weapons. I start struggling against the restraints again, cause there's no way I'm gonna lay here while those assholes shoot up my friends. The other two guys over there are still kinda hangin back. I guess they're just waitin to help gather up the bodies. Too bad for them they're the ones gonna need body bags.

From behind the stack of crates I hear my girl shout out, "You hanging in there Faith?" Christ, it's so good to hear her voice. I can feel those tingles from our connection runnin through me and just wanna show her how much I missed her. Yea man, just knowin she's here, and alive (sorta), makes me think everythin is gonna be alright.

"Yea B," I yell back, "I'd give ya a hand but I'm kinda tied up right now. Hey, maybe when we leave we can take these restraints with us." And I'm giggling again. When is this stuff gonna wear off?

"Don't worry baby," she says, "We got this covered."

The two guys comin at me are just about here and I see one of them pullin a syringe from his pocket. Guess they don't wanna take the chance of me gettin loose and bustin up their plans even quicker. I start to struggle even harder against the restraints, cause I sure as shit don't wanna have any more of their happy juice in me. As they come up on my left side, there's a loud crash and shit starts fallin from the ceiling. Lookin up, I see the mini slayer droppin down through the rafters where she just broke through. She lands on a catwalk and I can see the pre-dawn sky through the huge hole she left in the roof behind her. A second later, she flips over the railin and lands next to my buddies with the non-over the counter meds.

I'm not sure if I can trust her, after all I did threaten to feed her to my girlfriend, but I figure if she came with B then it's all gotta be good. I try and get the giggling under control as I give her a nod and say, "Nice of ya to drop in, Sunshine. How about givin a girl a hand?" Nope, no use. I'm back to laughin again.

She looks at me like I'm crazy and starts poundin on the Council dudes. She kicks one guy in the stomach then punches the other in the jaw. They both go down like a ton of bricks and she reaches for the restraints to let me loose. She just about has my one arm free when the guy she kicked rolls over and leg sweeps her. When this is over, someone's gotta teach her how to pay attention to more than one thing at a time. Freakin rookie.

Sunshine lands flat on her back, but at least she slaps the ground to take most of the shock. Guess she's not totally clueless afterall. She flips up to her feet just as the guy who swept her is standing up and he's wide open for a front kick. She nails him dead in his chest, with the resounding crack of his ribs bein heard and he flies backward to trip over his buddy that's still kissin concrete. Alright, I'm done just watchin all the action I gotta get these things offa me. I work my one arm free, the one the newbie started to loosen, then release my other one.

As I lean up to start undoin my legs, I see back on the other side of the room that the Council goons are walkin towards the crates that Xander and B are behind. They're just firin away, shootin the whole place up and not really carin what they hit. They get about five feet from the crates and suddenly Buff comes flyin over the top. She does an amazing spinnin hook kick that knocks both the goons that were shootin at her up and off their feet at the same time. She grabs the guns they were usin before they can hit the ground and quickly bends the barrels so they look like pretzels. Not gonna be usin them for nothin but paper weights from now on. Xander comes around the other side of the crates and starts fightin one of the guys that were standin there just watchin the show. Meanwhile, B's done a backflip to get closer and grabs the other one. She lifts him offa the ground with one hand, while smackin him around like he's her bitch with the other.

She's goin a little overboard so after Xand knocked his guy out he goes over to try and ease her down. I can hear him say, "Hey Buff! Are you going to keep playing with that guy or go get Faith?" B looks at Xand, then over to me and throws the guy over her shoulder like a dishrag.

The mini-slayer is back, removing the restraints offa my legs and I jump off the gurney only to almost fall on my ass. A wave of dizziness comes over me and I lean over to catch my breath. When I stand back up I see that the guys that went after Xand and B aren't the only ones that were armed. The guy Sunshine decked earlier has come back around and is raising a gun towards her. Oh shit, I can see his finger squeeze down as he starts to pull the trigger. After this is over, I gotta make sure she learns how to put someone down and keep them down.

"Look out!" I yell. My reflexes aren't so good right now, since I'm still partly doped up but I manage to push her outta the way. God damn rookie! I can feel the bullets as they rip across my side and back. It feels like a bunch of icicles are being stabbed into me in a straight line one after the other. A deep, penetrating freeze, that goes all the way through me. Then the ice turns to fire as the burning metal shreds me up inside. I never felt anything like it before, and damn this shit hurts.

I fall to the ground as Sunshine jumps over me to start wailin away on the guy with the gun. She's beatin him to a bloody pulp and I'm thinkin she just might finally get it. Sometimes you hafta go all out for your friends.

My eyes drift over and lock with B's. I see her mouth openin and closing as she stares at me, but I can't hear what she's sayin cause of the rushin sound that's fillin my ears. Just past her I can see Xander as he drops his axe to the ground in shock as he looks over at me. I try to give him a smile. Ya know, I'm really gonna miss that big goof.

Someone is liftin my face up and I see it's B. How'd she get all the way over here so fast? I dunno, don't really care either. Right now I just wanna have her hold me so I can remember this feelin we have for all eternity. Buffy's got those tears runnin outta her eyes again and I wanna tell her not waste them on me, but I'm havin a hard time pullin any breath in to make sounds. I can feel the cold seepin into me, replacin the blood that's runnin out on the floor. Damn, more blood on my leathers. Well it's not like I'm gonna need them anymore, right?

Xand's over here now and even that Shannon chick is kneelin down lookin like someone ran over her puppy. Funny, I didn't think she even liked me, specially since I kicked her ass. Twice. That thought makes me smile a little. Oh well, guess its all water under the bridge or over the falls or whatever the fuck that sayin is. None of that shit matters anymore. All that matters is I'm here with B, she's holdin me and kissin my lips and yea, I'm thinkin this is the perfect way to die. This is the way I wanna go out, fightin the bad guys and bein kissed by my girl.

I start to close my eyes and just let go when B shakes me roughly. "Faith!" she screams.

Sure, now I can hear her. It's not bad enough I'm dying here, she wants to make me deaf too. "Faith, don't you even think about giving up on me," she screams some more.

She still keeps shakin me and it doesn't even hurt anymore. She just doesn't understand that I'm tired. I'm tired of always gettin the ones I love ripped away from me as soon as things get good. I'm tired of fightin to do the right thing only to have it blow up in my face. I'm tired of it all. And the only thing, the only person, I'm gonna miss in this fucked up world is holdin me right now and won't let me go.

"God damn you Faith, I said wake the fuck up," she just won't quit. So I struggle to open my eyes a crack. "Faith, do you want to stay with me?" she asks.

Huh? What the hell is she talkin about? Of course I wanna stay with her. It's not like I have a lot a choice in the matter though.

"Look at me," she yells while shakin me again. "Do you want to stay with me? Will you stay with me?"

I don't really have the strength left for this and I don't have the breath to answer her anyway so I just nod my head.

Next thing I hear is Xander yellin, "No! Buffy, no! You can't! Don't do it!" And watch as B backhands him across the room when he moved in to grab her. He rolls to a stop on the floor and just lays there. Shannon tries to snatch Buff up by the arms and pull her away from me, but B slams her fist into her chin. I can see the lights in her eyes go out as she crashes to the floor. She ain't dead but she's not getting up for a while either. See, that's the way ya keep someone down. Rookie.

Buff is still right there at my side. Fightin them off didn't even move her an inch. She's gently liftin me up into her lap. I can barely see her now, as she brings her arm up to her mouth and bites into her wrist. The blood gushes out, runnin down her arm and starts drippin into my mouth. Then she places the open wound right on my lips and I can feel the blood runnin down my throat. At first I don't get what she's doin and I try to turn my face away. But B has got an iron grip on my head and won't let me move.

My vision goes darker even as I'm swallowing the blood that B is pourin into me. I feel my heart stutter, then give up its last beat. The world slowly fades away as the last of my blood runs outta my wounds onto the concrete floor. Shoulda been there. Quite a ride.


	28. Scoobies To The Rescue

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 28: Scoobies to the Rescue

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

One side of my face is throbbing and feels like it's starting to swell like a balloon. The other is pressed up against a rough, cold, hard surface. I open one eye and see I'm laying on the concrete floor of the warehouse where we came rescue Faith. Shit! Some rescue job we did. We bust in like a hurricane and cause Faith to get shot to death. I start to get up and see that Buff is still on the floor with Faith pulled into her lap. She's crying blood tears and they're falling onto Faith's face to run down her cheek. Buffy has taken her arm away from Faith's mouth and I'm not sure if she fed Faith her blood in time to save her. Of all the crazy things to do, Buffy trying to turn Faith has got to be right up there in the number one spot.

I get to my feet and slowly start walking over to them. Looking past where they're at, I can see the Council goons laying in a crumpled pile. It looks like Buff might have gotten her rage on after I was out of it. From the way their arms and legs are all twisted up, I'm hoping they were still unconscious when she lit into them. Then I remember what they did to Faith and I change my mind. Yea, I hope they were wide awake and screaming.

Buff doesn't seem to notice me so I call out before I'm inside her reaching distance. I don't want to get too close and startle her cause, being knocked out once a day is my limit. You see, I'm trying to cut down. When I'm about ten feet away I stop and before I can speak Buffy says in a low, hoarse, voice, "Just keep away from us Xander." Guess she noticed me after all.

"Buff," I say and I keep my voice soft, "Why would you do it? As much as you don't like being a vamp, why would you do that to Faith?" I really want to know, too. Of all people, Buffy knows how hard she had to fight, what it was like to have the demon and slayer battling inside her. What it was like to slowly have her humanity torn away until the person that loved her most had to try and kill her. I don't understand why she would want to put Faith through all that.

"I didn't know what else to do," she says in a small quiet voice. She sounds so lost, more like a young child than a young woman really.

There's a pale ray of morning sun startin to peak through the hole in the roof where Shannon ripped through. Thinking of Shannon, I glance over to where she's still out cold on the floor. I can see her chest rising and falling so at least she's still alive, though I bet she's going to have an even bigger headache than I do. Looking back at Buffy and Faith I can see the sunshine is slowly moving closer to them. If Buff doesn't get them out of the way soon, it's going to be shining right down on top of them. Buffy doesn't even seem to notice it though.

"I couldn't let her go, Xander," Buff says. She's slowly stroking Faith's long dark hair, letting her fingertips trail down the side of Faith's cheek and neck. "When she went missing from the hospital I nearly lost my mind. I swore I would get her back and never let her go again. Then just as I was going to bring her home, those bastards killed her! I had to try, Xand. Don't you see? I had to try and keep her with me."

I guess I can see her point. I'm not saying she's right, or that I agree with her, just that I can see the way she was thinking. Or not thinking in this case. It doesn't really make a difference now if I agree or not, though. "Did it work?" I ask.

"I don't know," she wails out and the sorrow in her voice is making my heart break. "Even if it did she's going to have to fight the demon in her forever. Never knowing any peace. Slowly losing night by night. God, I'm such an idiot!" she screams out.

The sun is moving steadily closer to them and my eyes keep jumping from it to my girls. "Buff," I tell her as I take a few more steps towards where they are, "Why don't you let me help you move Faith further back in the shadows, huh? A couple more minutes and you're going to end up getting a bone deep tan."

What she says next freezes me in place. "Why?" she asks. "What's the difference now? You think I want to go on anymore if Faith isn't with me? You think I could possibly stand to walk around every night knowing that she won't be there to talk to? To hold? To love? I'd just as soon have it end here and now with her in my arms. She was going to do it for me, now I'm gonna do the same for her."

Now she's scaring the shit out of me. Buffy had never given up on anything in her entire life. Seeing Faith shot down seems to have taken everything out of her. Taken her will to live. There's no way in hell I'm losing two friends here today. I tell her, "Look Buff, Faith wrote in her journal that it took a while before the vamp demon started changing you, right? So we should have some time. When it happened to you it was just you and Faith. This time we have the whole Scooby gang behind us. Give us a chance to see if we can help. Please, don't just give up now."

She looks up at me and wipes away some of her tears. The sun has moved more and is starting to shine down on her legs. I can actually see them starting to smoke. I take another step forward and go on in a panic, "Christ Buff, you have to let us try. You have to let me try. Take Faith somewhere and look after her until I can talk to Giles and Will, okay. Call me later today and I promise we'll have an answer for you. One day is all I'm asking. You can give me a day, can't you?"

She stands up with Faith in her arms while stepping back out of the sun's light and looks right in my eyes. "One day Xander," she says. "I'll a hold of you later. But if you can't find a way to help us, then it's over."

She turns to the back wall where the access to the aqueducts is boarded over. Then she suddenly moves in a blur and smashes straight through leaving nothing but flying pieces of wood behind her. I run a shaky hand over my face and move over to start waking up Shannon. We have got to get to Giles and come up with a way to keep both her and Faith alive.

When we get back to the mansion, Joyce, Giles and Will meet us at the door. Looking at their expectant faces I see a mix of confusion and sorrow when they see that it's just me and Shannon.

As we move inside, Joyce asks, "Where's Buffy and Faith?"

"It didn't go as smoothly as we thought it would," I answer her.

Willow eyes are wide and she takes Shannon by the arm while saying, "Tell us what happened."

"We…..we arrived at the warehouse and broke in to get Faith back," she starts telling them. "At first it was going alright. There were six of the Council's men and we seemed to be making progress. Buffy and Xander kept four of them busy and I dropped through the roof to get Faith free. There were two of them next to where she was being held and I took care of them then started undoing Faith's restraints." She looks down at the ground and continues, "I thought I took care of them. One of them pulled a gun and was going to shoot me."

Will puts her arm around her and says, "I'm sure you did your best. What happened then sweetie?"

"Faith……….Faith saw what was happening," Shannon goes on and her voice is getting softer. "She saw what was going to happen and she …..she saved me."

"Saved you how?" Giles asks. There's a look of sorrow in his eyes that tells me he suspects what is coming next.

"Faith pushed Shannon out of the way," I tell them, "But she wasn't quick enough to get away herself. They had her all doped up. They shot her Giles. They killed her."

Joyce and Willow break down crying and Giles just slumps into the chair next to him. Their shock and pain just brings my own back up and I can feel the tears leaking from my eyes.

Giles recovers first and asks in a worried tone, "What….what did Buffy do?" I guess he's worried Buff went on a killing spree. Now I have to let them know it's even worse than they think.

"Buffy went a little nuts," I tell them. "She flew across the room, but by that time Faith had lost a lot of blood. Christ, Giles, they must have shot her five or six times. Buff was holding her and asking her to stay with her. I didn't get it at first and by the time I did, it was too late. Shannon and I tried to stop her, but she just swatted us away like we were nothing. By the time I woke back up it looked like she had went back and tore through the Council's men for what they did to Faith. I didn't check, but I don't think they were still alive."

"What didn't you get? What did she do?" Willow asks.

"She gave Faith her blood," Shannon answers. "She tried to save Faith by turning her."

"Where are they now?" Giles asks quietly.

"Buffy took Faith to look after her. I told her to give me some time to talk to you guys and see if there's anything we can do," I say. I look right in Giles' eyes as I tell him, "She was going to sit there in the sun and let herself die with Faith, Giles. I couldn't let that happen. We need to help them."

Giles gets up then goes over and puts an arm around Joyce, "Joyce", he asks gently, "They're both your daughters in a way. What would you want?"

Joyce turns into his embrace and tells him in a firm voice, "I want my girls back."

He nods his head and turns to Willow, "Willow?," he asks. When Will looks up at him he goes on, "We have to move quickly. I need you to do an ensouling spell on Faith. Xander and I will go get the Orb of Thesulus while you set up. Shannon, if you would assist her it would be greatly appreciated. We will also need to do the anchoring spell you've been working on. I know it will take a lot out of you and I will assist as much as I can. Do you think we can anchor both of them?"

Willow has a look of concentration on her face as she says, "I don't know if we can do both separately, but they might be able to share it. We would sort of anchor them to each other."

Giles gives Joyce a quick hug, then starts moving and says, "Fine then. That's exactly what we'll do. Xander, are you coming?"

"Right with you G," I tell him as we head for the door. As we leave I can hear Shannon telling Willow and Joyce again how sorry she is for all of this. How she can't believe she thought of the Council as her family. Willow tells her that she has a new family now. Us. I don't know if that's true or not. It's going to depend a lot on how things go in the next few hours.


	29. Awakening

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 29: Awakening

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

We're sitting perched on the edge of a rooftop downtown. The night feels alive to me in a way it never did before. I mean, as a slayer, the nighttime was my element. As the sun would go down I could feel the slayer in me waking up, ready,.......no, anxious to be out there doing what I was made for. Now though, it's like I'm actually part of the night. Every breeze brings a million scents that I know by heart. Animals, plants, minerals,………prey.

The nerves under my skin have a constant tingle, causing a pleasure so intense it's bordering on pain. A big part of it is from B being here next to me. The rest is the thrill of what I'm gonna do. I woke up a coupla hours ago in a dark corner deep in the aqueducts. Buff had taken me there after leavin the warehouse to get me as far from the sun as possible. I guess she wasn't sure I'd be real happy about what she did. She was right.

When I first woke up, I wasn't sure of where I was or what happened to me. I slowly remembered most of what went down in the warehouse. Right up to where I was shot and bleedin out anyway. B looked over and saw my eyes open, she was right there next to me the whole time. She started runnin her hands all over me, checkin to see if there was any signs left of the wounds I had. She was kinda hysterical at first, like she couldn't believe I came back to her. Then as she saw my reaction to what she did to save me, she got a whole lot nervous. To say I was freaked was an understatement.

Yea, I had major issues at first. I mean, who was she too decided this for me? Who was she to keep me here after I made my peace with dying? No, I did not take the news of my new un-life well at all. In fact, we had a nice long throw down right there in the middle of the sewers. I jumped to my feet and shoved her away as hard as I could. I shoulda remembered that with the slayer turned vamp thing goin on, I had even more power. She flew clear across the chamber we were in to smack into the concrete wall. Big chunks of cement came rainin down all around her as she fell to the ground and for a minute I started to panic cause I thought I killed her. Then I remembered she was a vamp too and could pretty much survive anything I threw at her.

It wasn't all her fault, though. Part of me reacting like that was the hunger. I didn't know that right away, but as we fought, me trying to kick her ass and she trying to not hurt me too badly, I slowly realized that there was a huge cravin inside that I never felt before. Ya know, I can eat, in fact I love to eat. But I had never before in my life, even when I was a kid and starvin most of the time, ever felt anything like this.

As soon as B figured out what was goin on, she grabbed me around the shoulders and buried my face in her neck. Before I knew it, I had sunk my newly forms fangs deep into her neck and was pullin the sweetest of nectar's into my mouth. Swallowing one long pull after another, I could feel pure liquid energy shocking its way through my entire being. Man, talk about a head rush! As the energy filled me up I started to calm down. Is this what it felt like to B? Soon I felt her head shift so her mouth was over my neck and I could feel her teeth sink into me. God, it was like being in heaven! I let B drink from me on a couple of occasions, and with the exception of when I forced her to drink to cure the poison the mini-slayer had given her, it was one of the most erotic experiences I have ever had. This felt a gazillion times better.

I could actually see in my mind the way our bodies were one. One complete being. The blood flowing between us and through us. I draw it in, it runs through me becoming part of me, then out and into Buff, to run through her in turn. The blood leaving part of me inside her as it picks up part of her and then flows back into me, leavin part of her inside me. Forever. The sensations I feel pulsing through me from her feedin at my neck, as I feed from her, keep spiralin upwards. B has me pressed up against a wall by now and is starting to slowly grind into me. Her whole body is rubbin slowly up and down along the front of me causin a constant sweet friction, that's sendin wave after wave of those slayer tingles runnin through me to chase along after the blood we're sharing. Holy shit, I think I'm gonna cum from the unbelievable pleasure I feel building. It's a slow pressure that keeps growin, startin from low in my belly and spreadin outwards. Then it breaks over me and it musta hit B at the same time cause we both crumble to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs.

I look over at her and I gotta big ass smile on my face, she's laying there looking back kinda dreamy. I can't resist as I ask, "Was it good for you?" Then I bust out laughin.

She smiles over and is noddin her head as she says, "Oh hell yea!"

"Is it always like that?" I ask. I can feel the aftershocks still rocketin through my body. If this is what it's gonna be like for us, there's no way I can stay pissed about it. Ya know?

"Don't know," she says. "I never done that with anyone before."

I wiggle my eyebrows at her and say, "You mean I'm your first?"

"No, you're my only," she says and she's not smiling anymore. So much for wallowing in the afterglow. I guess we gotta get with the serious now. "Back at the warehouse, when you didn't wake up right away, I thought I was too late. I was going to sit there in the sun and join you in death," she says.

I look over at her sharply and start to rag her out a little, but she stops what I was gonna say by going on. "Before you ask, Xander stopped me." I gotta thank the Xan-man next time I see him. I wouldn't a cared about me dying, but if B had killed herself, I woulda tracked her ass down in the afterlife then kicked it good and proper for her.

I move closer and take her in my arms to tell her, "B, if I had woken up an you weren't there, I……I don't even wanna think about what I woulda done. I'm sorry I reacted badly a little while ago, just, it's a big change, yea? Ya know, a lot to take in all at once." Then I lean in and kiss her, long and deep to let her know that I really am okay with this. How could I not be? I was gonna let her turn me a few months ago, so it's not like I didn't think about it before.

As we break apart, not due to lack of oxygen, that's one thing that's not gonna be a problem anymore, but cause my stomach is grumbling loud enough to wake the dead, she gives a little laugh and says, "Looks like some things are never going to change, huh? Come on. Let me show you how to hunt." She's got this evil little gleam in her eyes that startin to turn me on again.

"Hunt?" I ask while raisin an eyebrow. "What happen to protectin the innocent and all that shit?"

She gets up and reaches down for my hand. Then liftin me to my feet she says, "That hasn't changed. We don't do innocents, but there's more than a few bad guys around that could use a few weeks building their blood supply back up. It'll put them out of action for a while and who knows? It might just scare them straight. There was one guy I did, back before you came home, that actually started going to church after I was done with him." She finishes with a laugh.

"Alright," I tell her while still holdin her hand. "Teach me."

Now we're up here watchin the alley as four guys are pullin a coupla kids that were headed to the Bronze back into the shadows. They're holdin the girl by the arms and smackin the guy around while laughin at him. I always thought being a vamp meant you didn't feel anything. I was wrong. You feel everythin more intensely. Where before I woulda been pissed at the way they were bullying the couple, now I feel rage.

I start to lean over to jump down and B puts a hand on my arm. When I look over at her she shakes her head slowly and whispers, "Not like that. If you go down there without calming down, you're going to drain them dry. Concentrate on what you're doing, not what they're doing. Remember, yea they're bad guys, but they're still human."

I stop a moment and close my eyes thinkin about all that Giles ever taught me about centerin myself. When I open them again B must see the change in me, cause she nods her head and smiles before letting herself fall over the side to land quietly behind these losers. I move down the roof a little and follow her down to land on the other side of them.

The leader of the gang has pulled a switchblade and is swinging his arm back to drive it into the guy's chest. The girl lets out a high pitched scream as his arm starts movin forward, "Noooo!"

I 'm movin before I even think about it and have the gangbangers arm twisted up behind his back. His buddies are lookin at me with wide eyes and are backin up. That's when I feel the change in my face. Shit! I vamped out when I started movin. I lean over the guy I'm holdin and say, "Why don'tcha play with me instead?" Then I sink my teeth into his neck.

The salty sweet taste starts runnin down my throat. It's good, I'm not gonna lie to ya, but nowhere near as sweet and satisfyin as B was. Then again, no one could ever compare to her, so why would blood be different? I feel the guys heart start to slow and figure it's time to let him loose. Besides, there's more of them waitin for attention. I look over to where the other three guys are still backin up and am just in time to see them back right into B.

"Goin somewhere guys?" she asks in a sugar sweet voice. "The party's just getting started." She grabs one guy by the scruff of the neck while kickin another one back towards me. The last guy tries to make a dash past me and I reach out and clothes line him with my forearm knockin him into some trash cans. We can save him for dessert.

The kids are standin there starin and I shout over to them, "Why don'tcha get on home?" They don't need to be told twice and race outta the alley.

I look back at B and she's lookin in my eyes as we both grin and sink our fangs into the guys we're holdin at the same time. We keep watching each other's eyes while we feed. Like the first guy, this one isn't vintage Buffy, but at least the grumbling in my stomach has stopped. One of the other things I notice is that the energy boost I get is nowhere near the one from B's blood. I wonder briefly if it's cause I love her or if it's the slayer blood thing all the vamps I fought kept ravin about.

As this guy's heart slows and I let him go, I see B drop hers to the ground also. Whaddya know, first synchronized slayin, now synchronized slurpin. We walk over to the last guy at the same time and he's startin to come around. He looks up at us with sheer terror in his eyes. Lookin back down at him and not taken my eyes offa him I ask, "Whaddya think B? Should we finish him off or throw him back till he's bigger?"

He starts cryin and sayin, "Please, please, let me go. You'll……..you'll never see me around here again. I won't tell no one, promise."

B is dead serious when she tells him, "Get out of here and you better be right. If we ever see you around here again it'll be the last time anyone sees you." Damn, my girl can be wicked scary when she wants. Kinda turnin me on. I turn away from them so the ex bad guy can't see my smile. I hear him get up and scamper away, then feel a set of arms wrap around me from behind.

"You okay baby?" she asks quietly.

"Yea, B, five by five, ya know," I answer her back while pullin her hands tighter around me. Just the feel of her this close is bringin all kinds of sensations to me. The air itself feels like it's getting thicker somehow. Like there's an electric charge building between us. A bigger charge than what's always there. It keeps growin, just waitin to be released like an explosion.

The electricity in the air is so bad now that it's startin to hurt. I turn around in her arms and see she feels it too. This is something different. It feels vaguely familiar, like I should know what it is, but I'm drawin nothing but blanks here. B's eyes are widenin with a look of recognition when the power breaks over us. I fall against her and she clings to me like I'm the last lifeboat in a storm at sea. Suddenly we're thrown apart by a flash of light that erupts between us. For one moment it feels like we trade places and I'm lookin at my own face as my body falls backwards to the ground. The next thing I know I'm tryin to sit up in a pile of trash and garbage, lookin over at B while she's struggling the same way.

As my head clears I notice I feel different. More calm, more in control. I can still feel the night like I did ever since I woke up from death, but it's not as insistent, not quite driving me as wild. There's something else that's different too.

I can feel Buffy. Yea, I know, I could always feel B, but now I can feel what she's feelin. I know exactly what's goin on in her head. And I know that she feels me the same way. We look at each other and B starts to smile. I can feel her love for me and know she can feel mine for her. This is gonna work out pretty good. Now she'll always know what I'm feelin and I won't hafta ever talk about my emotions with her. Sweet!

We get up at the same time and come together. B says, "I'd ask if you're okay, but I can feel you are. You alright with this?" She's waving her hand between us.

I laugh at her, "Ya know damn well I am."

"Good," she says. "We're still going to talk about your feelings though." Then she gives an evil laugh.

"What the hell _was_ that?" I ask her.

"I think I know what part of it was, not sure about the rest," she tells me and starts leading me out of the alley. "Come on, let's go see Willow. I think she's got some splaining to do."

Red, huh? Yea I shoulda figured. If there's mojo bein thrown around, she's probably in the middle of it. The only downside is seein Red means seein the rest of them. How's Joyce gonna react to what's happened. Guess there's only one way to find out.


	30. Roadtrip Part Two

_**Loss of Faith**_

Chapter 30: Roadtrip Part Two

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

A/N: Well, this is the end. Thank you to all who have read. Thank you to all who have reviewed and commented, it really does help.

BTW – This story was written for Jinxgirl who happened to ask the right question at the right time. Thank you much! Wouldn't of happened without you.

Xander's POV –

It's been a few hours since Will made with the magic and we still haven't heard shit from either Buffy or Faith. This waiting around is really starting to bug me. I tried to leave twice already and the first time Giles shut me down saying that it'd be better if we all stayed together until we heard something. The second time, I was going to roll right over him but Joyce stepped up and asked me to wait a little longer. There's no way I could refuse her. So now I'm pacing around the room like a caged animal and starting to get on everyone's nerves.

I start in again, "Will, isn't there anyway you can tell if it worked or not?" She's sitting on the couch next to Shannon, holding her hand.

"I told you already Xander," she says with a sigh, "I felt the power build and sent it out. It was absorbed by something, but there's no way I can tell if it was them or not. Sorry, we're just going to have to wait and hope they contact us."

Yeah, she built the power all right. It took all day to get everything ready. Then at sunset we were sitting in a circle holding hands, concentrating on Faith and Buff just like Will asked us to. Willow started chanting in some language or other, Giles probably knew what she was saying, but it was all Greek to me. That's when the whole room started filling with what felt like a static electric charge. The Orb of Thesulus started glowing a deep yellow then rose in the air about six inches. In the ceramic bowl next to it, the gem of Amara flashed a bright green then dissolved into dust, lighting the other stuff in the bowl on fire. The dust swirled upwards in the smoke to join the Orb, surrounding it then appearing to sink into it, before the Orb turned dark and dropped back to the floor. As soon as it went dark, all the power that had been building left the room and it felt like it took all the air with it. There was a loud thunderclap and then nothing.

And still with the nothing. That's what's driving me up a wall.

All that build up just to have to wait on the off chance we'll find out if it worked or not. Shouldn't there be like a sign or something, a little signal that would say 'mission accomplished, it's okay to go about your lives'? Man, this waiting game is driving me crazy.

Joyce and Giles are talking quietly on the other side of the room. They keep sneaking glances over at me to make sure I'm not going to make a break for the door again. But I don't know how much more of this I can take. You know what? Screw this. I just can't do this anymore. I cannot just sit here waiting while out there somewhere, two of the girls I care for most in the world could be suffering. Or worse. Making up my mind I start for the front door again while Joyce and Giles move to intercept me. There must be something different in my eyes this time though, because both of them stop short and nod their heads. Walking to the door I reach out to throw it open while saying over my shoulder, "I'll let you know if I find anything." And walk right into Buffy.

She was just about to open the door when I slammed into her and bounced back falling on my ass. I looked at her in stunned surprise until I heard a familiar laugh from behind her, along with the smartass comment, "Damn, B. Ya still got him fallin hard for ya. Can't blame him though." Then she laughs some more.

First I'm worried, then I'm relieved when I hear Faith, then I'm pissed, then I'm back to being relieved. I finally settle on being relieved because if they're both here and joking around, then Will's spell must have worked just fine.

"Hey Buff, how come every time I see you anymore I end up on my ass?" I ask as I climb back up to my feet. She throws her arms around my neck and hugs me like she hasn't seen me in years.

"Thank you," she whispers in my ear. I look over her shoulder at Faith and see her smiling. She heard exactly what Buff said, slayer hearing and all, from the look in her eyes she knows what it was for too.

"No problem Buff," I tell her just as quietly. "Anytime."

Joyce is standing next to us and Buffy turns to hug her. As soon as she releases me, I'm grabbed up again and all I can see is a sea of dark brown hair. I know who it is a soon as I feel myself being squeezed. "Take it easy there, Faith," I say. "I thought you weren't the touchy feely sort. You're going to lose your badass rep if you keep this up."

She pulls back from me and says with a smirk, "At this point I don't care. Besides, everyone here knows I can kick your ass."

Giles and Will are behind us chuckling and when I turn around I can see even Shannon is smiling. Faith gets a nervous look in her eyes and I see that Joyce has stopped hugging Buffy and she's standing there looking at Faith like she doesn't know what to do. Faith looks like she's getting ready to bolt when Joyce steps up and drags her into an even bigger hug than she gave Buffy.

"Thank God you're alright," she says. We can all hear the tears in her voice and I see Faith visibly relax as she returns Joyce's hug. When they pull apart there's a shine of tears in Faith's eyes as well.

"I didn't think you would still like me," she says to Joyce quietly while looking at the ground. "What with being undead an all."

Joyce gives her a confused look and says, "I told you before honey, how can anyone help but love you. No matter what." Now Buffy has tears running down her face, but at least they're tears of joy this time. I can live with that. I think we all can.

Giles finally speaks up, "Why don't we move this inside?" He asks.

We all agree and start moving back into the living room. Everyone is talking at once, wanting to know what happened to Buff and Faith and why it took so long for them to come home.

"Well, long story not quite so long?" Buffy says, "I took Faith back to the aqueducts and she woke up. We had a little disagreement about my behavior at the warehouse. Then we made up. We went out for take out, then got hit by some major mojo." She looks over at Willow at this point and gives her a small smile. "Then we figured we should come back here and find out what the what is. So, Will, what did you hit us with?"

Will's looking more than a little nervous and says, "Xander told us what happened at the warehouse when you went to get Faith. I……We thought that if what you did worked, it would be better if Faith had her humanity back instead of having to try to fight off the demon."

Faith and Buffy look at each other then Faith nods at Willow to continue saying, "Thanks Red. That was really good thinkin."

"I felt that part," Buffy says. "But what was the rest of it?"

Willow answers, "Well it wasn't just an ensouling spell. See, we were talking earlier, before Faith was taken, about how the curse has that whole 'no moment of complete happiness' clause and how it wasn't fair to you and Faith. Xander is actually the one that brought it up and I……..we figured that we might be able to anchor the spell so it wouldn't be broken. So I added into the ensouling spell and there you go. You're both anchored and won't have to worry about it anymore."

"Howdya do that?" Faith asks not quite willing to believe just yet that her and Buffy could actually be happy together without the world coming to an end.

"It was Shannon," Will says, giving the young slayer a smile. "She suggested using the gem of Amara as a cohesive to anchor you guys. It was made to make a vampire impervious to physical attack, so I modified it to make you impervious to spiritual attack."

Both Buff and Faith look over to Shannon and I can see her shrink back from them some. Then they both give her a grin and she relaxes again.

"So that was it?" Faith asks still suspicious.

"There may be a little more to it," Will says.

"Come on Red, stop dickin around and give," Faith says. I can see she's getting tired of pulling the information out of Willow piece by piece. Not very long on patience is Faith. Surprise there, huh?

"The spell was designed to anchor one vampire's soul, not two, Willow continues hesitantly. Faith has started to glare at her now. She must be thinking that there's a 'but' about to come out that's going to bite her on the ass.

"SoIhadtoanchorthetwoofyoursoulstogetherforittoworkonbothofyouandI'msorryifyoudon'twantitbutit'sdoneandcan'tbechangedbacksopleasedon'thurtme!" she finishes in a rush.

I can see the girls running what Will just blurted out back over in their heads and it looks like Faith gets it first because she breaks out in a brilliant smile and walks over to Willow. She wraps her up in a huge hug and actually lifts her off the ground and spins her around. "Hurt ya? I oughta kiss ya, Red," she says while still smiling. "Ya just gave me everything I always wanted. Thank you!" She puts Will down and struts over to Buffy, giving her just as big a hug.

Faith says, "Hear that Twinky? You're stuck with me for all time now. Just when ya thought it couldn't get any worse, right?" Then they both start laughing. It's good to see them happy and I hope it lasts for a long, long time.

As the night wore on we talked in different groups but always came back together. At one point Faith got me off to the side. She looked like she had something to say and didn't want anyone else around. She starts off looking kind of shy, which for Faith is a totally new look. "Xand, I just wanna thank ya again for all ya did for me and B."

I start to protest but she keeps talking over me. "Yea, I know I don't hafta say nothing, but I wanna, alright?" she says and gives me her smirk. "Anyway, I was thinkin. The place needs some work and I wanted you to do it for me. Give ya a chance to use those 'Handy Harris' skills, ya know? I figure you could stay here while you fix up the place. The bank account numbers and stuff are over in the telephone table drawer, so just help yourself to whatever ya need."

"Faith," I tell her, "I don't know what to say."

"Just tell me ya can fix that big ass hole in the concrete over on that wall and it'll all be good," she says and laughs. "How the hell did it get there anyway?"

I look back at the wall she's talking about and am just about to explain Buffy's interrogation techniques when we overhear Shannon talking to Giles.

"Don't worry Mr. Giles, I'll be gone in the morning," she's saying. Faith and I move over next to them to hear what's going on.

"Whatever are you talking about Shannon?" he asks.

"You have both your slayers back and don't need me here. I'll find somewhere else to go," she says. "But I'll not go back to the Council. There's no way I could serve them in good conscience now."

Giles looks at her gently and says, "Shannon, there's no need for you to go anywhere." He looks around at the rest of us for any objections and not hearing any goes on. "Beside, in all likelihood the Council will come here looking for you. Now that you have helped us, it is almost inevitable. In fact, we should probably start thinking of a defensive posture."

I see Faith look over at Buff and there's something that passes between them. Then Buffy says, "You know, Shannon you need to just stay here, with my mom. I don't think you guys are going to have anything to worry about. Right Faith?"

Faith is starting get an evil grin on her face and she raises an eyebrow at Buffy as she says, "Whaddya say to a roadtrip B?"

Buffy has a smile that exactly matches Faith's and she says, "Just what I was thinking."

Faith's POV-

I'm standin in the shadows of a dark, barely lit room. There're bookcases on three of the walls and the guy who calls this home must be part bat, cause there's hardly any light. Not that I need it anymore. In fact I prefer it this way. I can see B clearly over on the other side of the room. She's hangin in shadows of her own and we're both just waitin for the asshole we've come to see to show up. It better be soon too, for his sake. The longer it takes him, the more ways I come up with to make his sorry existence an exercise in pain. Havin nothing to do but stand here waitin while thinkin about all the pain and sorrow he's caused is really not in his best interest. Maybe we shoulda made an appointment?

B breathes out my name. Barely a sound at all and I hear what she already picked up on. The soft sound of footfalls down the hall and headed this way. I feel myself getting charged up with the anticipation of finally getting to dish out some payback. I just hope this guy's not a wimp and faints dead away when we confront him. That would sooo suck. All this build up for nothing? Reminds me of bed buddies I had in the past.

B's lookin at me with a little smile on her face while shakin her head and I can tell she knows exactly where my thoughts have been runnin. She seems to get the biggest kick outta bein able to get in my head anytime she likes. Course, I try and return the favor, usually anytime she's in the shower without me. I like to pop in and provide some commentary while she's washin, that if she had a pulse would have her blushin like a virgin. Heh, heh that thought knocked the smile offa her face. Paybacks a bitch, huh baby? That's something our unknowing host is gonna find out in, Three, Two, One and enter our mystery guest.

The door opens and in he walks, like he's the master of the universe. Freakin bastard. I feel the rage spring up and I have to stop myself from movin. I gotta thank G when we get back for all that meditation and self-control trainin he gave me. Yea, imagine that, me havin self control. Scary thought, huh?

He moves over to his desk and sits down while pullin a folder over to him. He's just openin it up to read when B steps outta the shadows and says, "Hiya Travers. I've been waiting for you." He looks up at her and I gotta tell ya, the way his eyes almost popped outta his head was priceless. It almost made all this waitin around worth it. Almost.

"You," he says. I can see him tryin to get his shit together. "What are you doing here? How did you get in?" he asks. Not really good under pressure is our head Watcher.

B's sorta sauntering over toward him and says, "Well, you know, semi-public building and all. You really shouldn't have that sign over the door that says 'Enter Ye Who Wish to Gain Knowledge', it's kinda like a standing invitation." Then B goes on, "I just thought I'd drop in and see how you've been doing. I mean, you've taken such a big interest in Sunnydale and what's going on there, I thought I'd return the favor." She leans over the desk and gives him her best innocent little girl grin and I hafta cover my mouth to keep the laugh from escapin. This is too much fun to spoil my surprise already.

Travers sits back in his chair and tries to give B the old 'I know what's best' attitude as he says, "Really Miss Summers, I would think that you being a former slayer would realize the futility of trying to escape your fate. Why don't you let us help you? We can give you your final rest." As he's talkin his left hand moved to the top drawer and I see him reach in for a pistol. Yea, a gun ain't gonna stop B, but it might slow her down and I can see a stake layin in the drawer next to the gun. Okay, play times over as far as I'm concerned.

I move in a blink of an eye and use my leg to slam the drawer shut with his hand still caught inside. I keep the pressure on as I lean over him. "Now, now Mr. T. That's no way to show proper hospitality to your guests, is it?" I ask.

His eyes are flicking back and forth between B and me so quick he looks like he's watchin a tennis match. He has sweat starting to form on his brow as he says to me, "You……your dead. You were shot at the warehouse when this abomination tried to come for you." Guess some of the Council goons made it outta there alive after all. Too bad. I see B flinch some at the description he used and press harder with my leg. I can hear the bones in his wrist start to break as he lets out a small scream of pain. I figure if I keep pressin, sooner or later I could sever his hand completely. I take a moment to think whether I wanna go ahead and do that or not. Hmm, decisions, decisions…………

Nah, I guess not. Beside, B would be pissed if I made him pass out from the pain already. We're just getting started. I let off on the drawer and slide up to sit on the desk so we're facin one another. He pulls his hand out and holds it to his chest. Not gonna be usin that hand for a while. Good thing he's a righty. B 's hand flashes out and rakes her nails down the side of his face leavin four long scratch marks. The instant pain makes his head snap around to look directly at her and she says, "I was speaking to you Mr. Travers. It's not polite to ignore someone when they're addressing you." B's still usin that sweet little innocent girl voice and I swear that's gotta be freakin Travers out. But I kinda like it.

B has this whole dominatrix vibe goin on and to tell ya the truth it's startin to turn me on. She's starin him straight in the eye and keeps her voice low and calm as she says, "You and your Council are no longer welcome in Sunnydale. You are not to have any contact with the current slayer until and if she contacts you. We will be taking care of her from now on. Do you understand?"

"That's preposterous," the jackass sputters out. "Shannon is my niece, I am her legal guardian and you have no right to interfere with us."

I put a foot up on his arm and start pressing down as I say, "Shannon is a poor girl that you stole from her family. You kept her isolated and tried to brainwash her. Then you truly fucked up and tried to have her capture me. You're not her family, we are. You're nothing to her." As I finish speakin I give a hard, sharp, thrust with my foot and enjoy the sound of his elbow breakin. He gives a high pitched scream and I hear footsteps runnin down the hall towards us. That's alright though, we're almost done and personally I don't mind a few witnesses.

A big guy comes through the door and as soon as he sees us he pulls a freaking canon outta a shoulder holster. I'm offa the desk and over to him before he can aim the thing, then grab him in an arm lock. I got full control of his arm and have the canon pointin toward his boss. I tell the big guy, "Easy there fella. You don't wanna accidently shoot your boss, do ya?" He shakes his head no and is tryin to hold in the whimpers of pain. Okay, so maybe I'm usin a little more force than is strictly needed. So what. He's just another Council asshole as far as I'm concerened. No different than the creeps they sent to kidnap me.

B reaches out and turns Travers' face back towards her. He seems a little startled like he forgot she was there while he was watchin the show I put on. She looks him in his eyes and tells him, "From now on the slayers and potentials have someone else to watch over them. _We_ are now the protectors of the slayer line. You can find them, you can train them, but if we ever find out that you are trying to use or abuse them again, we will end you. Do you understand?" Toldya my girl can be wicked scary sometimes.

Travers nods his head since he's too scared to speak. And I think he might need to change his pants after we leave. Sometimes the enhanced senses are not of the good. B looks over to me and asks, "Think we can trust him?'

I look at him real hard and think about all the shit he's put us through. Then I shake my head and squeeze the guy I'm holding's arm. The gun in his hand goes off and blows a two inch hole in Travers chest, right through his heart. I look up at the guy I'm still holdin and ask, "Can we trust you to pass on our message?" When this guy nods I believe him and look over to B to let her know we can go now. We just have to make a quick stop in the basement to take care of some pesky vermin they keep down there. Then we can go home. Before we leave I twist up the barrel on his canon as I tell him, "You need to remember, we'll be watchin the Watchers so Do. Not. Fuck. Up."

B's standing at the back of the jet we chartered brushin the last of the vamp ash outta her hair. Getting the jet for a coupla night flights was a pretty sweet deal. All we hada do was tell the pilot we loved watchin the stars as we flew and he was more than happy to make them night flights. Of course the five grand tip we gave him probably helped. B finishes with her hair and comes over to sit on my lap. She's such a girl sometimes, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Whatcha thinking about?" she asks.

"Just things, B," I answer her.

"What kind of things?," she says. She's got her hands runnin through my hair and it's causin small tremors to start shootin from my scalp down to lower areas.

"Ya know, the normal shit. What are we gonna do now? Do we hafta stay on the Hellmouth with the newbie there and all? Why isn't there a bed on this plane?" I say back to her.

"Well," she says leanin her body into me. "We could do some traveling. We would be like rogue demon slayers or something. And we don't have to stay in Sunnydale, we would just need to check back in from time to time. Make sure that Giles and the new kid have everything under control. As for your last question," she starts reclining the seat back as she runs her tongue along the edge of my ear, "Who needs a bed?"

Have I told ya how much I like this new and improved Buffy? It's gonna be an interestin trip home. Ya know what? Anywhere B is, is my home now. It's gonna be a great un-life.

The End


End file.
